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Over 50 couple dating and sexless for over 10 years...
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56tbird posted:
Any woman out there feel like me? I am 56 - attractive and never wanted for a date or sex..til now...I have been dating a 56 yo man over 10 years and we have had sex maybe 10 times! I stay because he's become a friend and companion I truly am glad to have. He says he finds sex uncomfortable physically and has no libido. I see him on internet sites in the morning and evening everyday looking at hot teens and twenty somethings...I know he surfs local massage parlor sites but I don't know if he goes or not....don't tell me to try to romance him,,I have the clothes, the toys, the movies, the little trips to get away...you name it...nothing...I've tried to break off our relationship but I am missing him immediately...anyone else out there sexless and loney>

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stevesmw responded:
10 years averaging once a week means that you have missed 490 sexual encounters. The thing that makes a man most interested in normal sex is a willing partner.

His internet activity indicates he has an interest in sex and either is lazy or has feelings of inadequacy.

I've been in a mainly sexless marriage for a long time and do feel lonely even though I have a good, affectionate relationship with my wife, but lack of physical intimacy leaves a gaping hole in my life.

If you are willing to settle for companionship, fine, but there are a lot of good men out their that would be glad make love to a woman your age. Why settle for less.
 
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56tbird replied to stevesmw's response:
Thanks for the reply stevesmw...I am glad to hear a man's perspective...being in this type of relationship, for me anyway, has taken away the self confidence it will take to venture out and find that "good man". : (
 
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dfromspencer replied to 56tbird's response:
That's too bad! I mean the not venturing out, part! Why not? Are you married to this man? You did say "Dating" a 56 yr. old man, right? What's holding you there, fear, a lack of self confidence??? B.S.! You said it yourself, you are an attractive woman. I hate to hear things like this!!!

I remained celebate for over twenty years, waiting for "The One", and guess what? I'm still waiting!!! I'm 54, lookin pretty good, now. I stopped smoking, and started working out. Oh yea, i'm looking pretty good! I have been told by many women that, I am a handsome man. Maybe I am, but I think more in the rugged type of handsome? I don't know, i'm not a very good judge of that? I do know a beautiful woman when I see one! And I don't mean movie stars, or those that paint their faces!!! I believe a woman's true beauty is in their natural looks! I think a woman is the most beautiful, the most sexy looking when they first get out of bed! No make-up, hair all touselled, mmmmm, oh yea!!! And of course, the beauty inside!!!

Don't hold back, get out there, and give a man like me a chance to find you! There are still a lot of us men out there, that want to have sex, and more than ten in ten years, O.M.G.!!! That is a horrible thing to go through!!!

What are you waiting for, get moving!!! I hope you live around here!!!!!

I wish you all the luck!!!

Dennis
 
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stevesmw replied to 56tbird's response:
You described your relationship as dating does that mean you aren't living together? How affectionate is your relationship? How often do you kiss, hug and hold each other?

I can make a few suggestions.

1. Intercourse can be difficult physically and in mutually pleasing both partners. Sitting next to or lying next to each other and fondling each other should not be uncomfortable, is pleasurable and can give each partner the success and satisfaction of sexually pleasing their partner.

2. If you aren't living together and have time for another relationship, consider making you current relationship non exclusive. If one man can't meet all your needs, consider more than one. As long as you are being open and the other people can accept it, it can work.
 
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sluggo45692 responded:
Your BF is a fool. If he's able to look at the porn sites and doesn't care if you see him or not, and then doesn't take advange of what he's got, then he's a huge fool. I'm 50 & my GF is 50. I want to have relations with her. Yep, I look at the sites, but I also know what I have at home. I take care of business. I have lived in a sexless marriage. Not fun. If you have tried all the romance and flat out told him to do something with you. Either he has a medical problem or just doesn't care. You have to decide what you want to live with. After 10 years, you both may have become complacent. Shake things up for yourself. Believe me, there are other men out there who will ensure you are pleasured. Good Luck
 
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ShayNuh responded:
Hi. I am only 21 and yes I am a female... I don't like having sex but I honestly do look at internet "stuff" and I am able to take care of myself that way. I don't know what it is but I need the visual stimulation to where in real life, I don't like the feeling... in fact it mostly hurts. I do have a boyfriend but I just have no interest in sex with him.
 
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stevesmw replied to ShayNuh's response:
Sounds like you have a boy pal. If he is around your age he wants intercourse and probably doesn't know what he is doing.

Whatever you do by yourself he could be doing it to you and he would be holding you and kissing you which is better than a solo act.
 
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Anon_174866 responded:
Darling I am in a similar situation as sex only once or twice monthly. I would love to be lucky and have a woman like you. I would hold, squeeze, kiss, lick you for hours. Don't allow being put out to pasture yet. You are too young.
Wishing we lived closer.
 
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dfromspencer replied to Anon_174866's response:
Hi Anon_174866,

Please try and remember that this is a medical/advice site, and is not for picking up dates!

We come here to help other's with their problems, and at the same time, hopefully anyway, we get some help also?!

Just sayin for the record!

Dennis
 
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SinnerLloyd responded:
That's a tough position to be in. Maybe try finding someone else. I'm sure there has to be one person out there who would want to be with you intimately.
 
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crostimare responded:
Maybe it's time that both you and your partner should have an open communication, because he might have hidden sexual issues. Some men have PE or ED problems which makes them feel embarrassed or uncomfortable to have sexual intercourse with their partners. Try talking to him instead and know the problem. If he has sexual problems indeed, he might try some medications to relieve the symptoms. For example, he might need to try ED pills if he has erection difficulties.


(Source: http://www.shopavanafil.com/avanafilinfo/erectile-dysfunction-embarrassing-but-also-treatable-with-avanafil.html )


But remember to get an approval first from a doctor before using any meds.
 
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diytestkitsdotcom responded:
Hi 56tbird,

Have you tried talking it out with him? Maybe what you both need is to talk about your relationship, if you both still feel the same about it. Maybe there were some miscommunications that went unaddressed in your ten years together.

But, the sad part that I see as well is that, you might be the only one holding on to it. You said you tried to break off the relationship once, but you missed him. He doesn't seem to care enough to hold on to you and give you a reason to stay. In fact, as what I gather in your post, he didn't try to stop or win you over during that one time breakup. And the fact that he looks at pictures on the internet, somehow suggests that he may be looking for something else.

Don't do this to yourself. If it is causing you this much inner turmoil, without the other party trying to convince you otherwise, then it may just be time to go your separate ways.

Harsh as it may sound, now. But, you will see how unhealthy this setup is for you, once you let yourself have the chance to meet others who can love you better.

Hopefully, you find the happiness you deserve. Best of luck and take care always! Love yourself more.


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