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Am I damaged goods?
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Gmarie42 posted:
I am a 42yr old female in a relationship where I am having trust issuses along with being insecure. For almost half my life I was you could say.."a working girl" with that in mind there was alot of sneaking around/being quiet while the other person would lie to their spouse on the phone about where they were & what they were doing etc...Now I am tired of that life & found me a keeper...a good man! So when he is away at work the thought keeps popping up...is he out messing around on me? I was the other woman to many men and this one I dont want to share...by the way thats how the 2 of us met! He was already divorced.(I didnt do it) If anyone has any helpful advice,ideas or comments I'd like to hear from ya...I just wonder if I will ever be able to trust again?
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georgiagail responded:
If your believe you are "damaged goods" then you very likely believe you don't deserve a "normal" relationship (one where your partner doesn't sneak around behind your back). If that's all you've ever known/done in your previous relationships, that's all you've ever seen as normal until now.

Sounds like some short term counseling to help you see the light at the end of the tunnel might be in order.

Gail
 
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sluggo45692 responded:
Gail is right, a little short term counceling will help. Everyone deserves a good relationship and a good partner. Remember to talk to each other and build that trust. Don't keep the dark thoughts in. Let them out and get rid of them. If all you have known is distrust, it will be hard to trust. The only way to build that trust is letting your partner know what your feeling. I can tell you from personal experiance, if he was cheated on, He's less likely to cheat. (I was cheated on by my ex) He knows how much it hurts. But if he was the cheater, keep him on a tight leash. Cheaters tend to keep cheating. Remember, it goes both ways. If you were the "working girl", what is he thinking? Talk to him. Don't let darkness poison your relationship now with "a good Man". Good Luck


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