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    So different with sex, it's ruining our relationship! Any help?!
    avatar
    manning18fan posted:
    My boyfriend and I have very different styles and feelings about sex. The main problem (I feel) is he takes FOREVER to orgasm. The quickest he ever came with me was 1 hour and 15 minutes. He says that he goes numb at times and though he can maintain the erection he loses sensation. I am worried that maybe it is a nerve issue. HOWEVER he masturbates EVERY day. At least once a day. He says it isn't me, and I do believe him. However this means we have to have just the right settings and everything for us to have sex. We can't just be spontaneous, because of the time it takes.

    My attitude about sex is different and I also like it very different from the way he does. I like it fast and furious. And when I orgasm I want to be done. I may orgasm after 15- 20 minutes or earlier, then it just feels like a chore to have to continue. I do it, I do whatever I can to help but I feel resentful about him taking so long. I try not to show it, but I get frustrated having to do things for so long. Sometimes when I don't want to I let him warm up and (45 minutes or so later) he will be ready.

    I suggested that we both abstain from sex/masturbating for awhile then have a night, or morning. He was ok with US abstaining, but GOD FORBID he quit whacking it. I'm worried about it, he seems like it is an addiction. Last night he kept losing sensation (we had sex in the morning and he was exhausted from chores) so I did my own thing and he did his. He couldn't orgasm and was jealous because I could get one. I feel like he acts like a spoiled brat when he doesn't come. It is coming to a point that sex with him makes me angry & resentful. Any suggestions? I love him I really do, but a girl can only take so much!
    Reply
     
    avatar
    georgiagail responded:
    An hour and 15 minutes to orgasm??? Honey, if I was with someone who took that long to reach the end, I'd get up, go downstairs, make a bowl of popcorn, watch a good movie and then come back upstairs to help things end.

    No wonder sex seems like so much work for you!

    Is he really worth it?

    Gail
     
    avatar
    stevesmw responded:
    Taking that long unless you enjoy it is unfair. How long does it take for him to orgasm from masturbation?

    I would suggest that he gives you your orgasm, you take a break and then you either masturbate him or he masturbates himself to the point of no return and then enter you to orgasm. A vagina is much better than a hand.

    He also needs to work on his masturbation technique, because he needs to make it more like intercourse and your vagina isn't providing him enough stimulation.

    I had premature ejaculation issues and found the longer you can last the longer you last. My wife liked to make love for over an hour with multiple orgasms and I enjoyed it so much, I really didn't care if I orgasmed or not.

    I find it much more difficult to orgasm now and there is a difference between choosing not to orgasm and not being able to.
     
    avatar
    dfromspencer responded:
    One and a half hours? Why? Why would anyone want to take so long to get to the best part of having sexual relations???

    The first thing you should ask yourself is, is he worth all that torture?

    What he is giving you, is a nightmare, even for me,, and i'm a man!!!

    My answer is this; take it to someone who will appreciate you, and you sexual desires, NOT to someone who abuses you!!!

    Good luck!!!

    Dennis


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