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    No sex drive??
    FallenStar218 posted:
    I am 20 years old and I was in a 3 yr relationship, in the beginning my sex drive was insane but as the relationship went on it went down to nothing. It ended up hurting my relationship big time because his sex drive is very high while mine was very low. For the longest time I thought it was because I was no longer interested in the relationship, but now I am getting into another one, we are in a long-distance relationship so we can't do anything physical, but I am noticing similar things. At first I was easily turned on but now it's down to nothing. He is able to turn me on but I can't stay that way long, is there something wrong? Should I be taking supplements? I am not depressed or stressed so I am just confused to why my sex drive is gone. Also I have never had an orgasm through sex so I'm assuming its linked with the no sex drive. Please help?
    georgiagail responded:
    How long have you been in this second relationship?

    Relationships often tend to be hot and heavy early on but it's hard to keep this intensity up for very long.

    stevesmw responded:
    Given your age and the likely age of your partners, there isn't a lot off technique or experience. If you aren't orgasming through sex, you would likely lose interest. Some day you will get in a relationship with someone who is interested and capable of sexually pleasing you. Until then you won't know your sexual potential.

    Sex was new and exciting to you but then it became not so new and not so exciting.
    hairyd responded:
    You answered your question." Also I have never had an orgasm through sex so I'm assuming its linked with the no sex drive."

    Until you find a man that knows how to have sex with a female; giving her the pleasure. Not just get his rocks off.

    Its the male that know how to freak it - oral, vaginal, anal. That gives the female a high sex drive.

    You need to find a man that knows how to buck IT. If it a good ride you can not wait for him to climb back on.
    Always remember your penis is unique, just like every man.
    tlkittycat1968 replied to hairyd's response:
    "Its the male that know how to freak it - oral, vaginal, anal. That gives the female a high sex drive."

    Not necessarily. DH is very good at oral and never has a problem with making me orgasm and he makes sure I orgasm first. It hasn't helped my sex drive; it's still pretty low.
    FallenStar218 replied to georgiagail's response:
    I've been in this second relationship for like a month now. Yea that's true but its already fading, I'm thinking its because of the long distance but I'm not sure.
    fcl replied to tlkittycat1968's response:
    I agree but from a different point of view. I have, and have always had, a high sex drive. No matter who my partner was. Men don't control everything, HairyD.
    There's nothing inherently dirty about sex, but if you try real hard and use your imagination you can overcome that.
    fcl replied to FallenStar218's response:
    It may be because of the distance and it may also be that he just isn't the right one for you and you're tired of him.
    There's nothing inherently dirty about sex, but if you try real hard and use your imagination you can overcome that.
    stevesmw replied to fcl's response:
    If you enjoy sex, having a high sex drive is a good thing. It makes things easy. My wife had been sexually active for more than 10 years, including one marriage and never had an orgasm. Her interest in sex was that it was expected.
    I had just completed a training program from my girlfriend so when I made love to my wife to be she had multiple orgasms and a strong interest in making love frequently.

    Her previous lovers probably assumed a low sex drive.
    buckeye45680 replied to tlkittycat1968's response:
    My wife says I'm awesome at oral as well and I make her orgasm every time I do it. I've always been told that in previous relationships. However, this hasn't helped spark her sex drive either. We've been married for over 5 years and she has little to no desire. I'm average at best in length but thick I'm told. I know for a fact she's one of the few women that really need and prefer larger to be pleased internally although she can achieve orgasm externally. Anyhow, I would appreciate a woman's perspective on this. Is there anything I can do to help bring her interest up? Or are you also puzzled at this delemna in your life?
    stevesmw replied to buckeye45680's response:
    Length usually isn't an issue, except for too long.
    Pubis on pubis contact during intercourse can provide an orgasm.
    buckeye45680 replied to stevesmw's response:
    We actually just talked about this again just a few minutes ago. Althought you're right for most women it doesn't matter for her she really does want length but like you said not too long either. She says she prefers length to width which is another thing uncommon to most women. She did say that pelvic on pelvic grinding does help achieve clitoral and somewhat of interal orgasm.
    stevesmw replied to buckeye45680's response:
    I have no explanation for a woman's sex drive. If she can orgasm whenever you make love, that should be positive reinforcement. Not being able to orgasm or not enjoying it is another matter.

    My wife was capable of almost non stop vaginal orgasms.
    She preferred shallow stimulation and would sometimes complain about me being too deep. My penis length is in the very average length group.

    It sounds like she is trying to repeat a past experience that she found particularly pleasurable or has fantasy about deep penetration. If you are both open to it, sex toys come in all lengths. You shouldn't feel inadequate if your wife has needs that many men can't meet. It's all about pleasing your partner.

    Helpful Tips

    Difficulty having an orgasm?Expert
    Try reading Becoming Orgasmic: A Sexual and Personal Growth Program for Women by Julia Heiman , Joseph Ph.D. LoPiccolo and David ... More
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