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Coping with the aftermath of threesome
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krh33 posted:
My husband and I have fantasized about bringing another woman into bed with us and a few days ago it happened. He found someone who was interested and I was actually excited, but nervous at the same time. I will admit I was hesitant prior but I did meet her personally the night before, without my husband. I genuinely liked her and weade a conmection. With that, I thought the threesome idea wouldnt be bad afterall. Long story short, we did the deed and all parties involved were happy. I was even content post-threesome.... until 24 hours later. I started to get paranoid and then started to wonder that everytime his phone went off, they were talking (he told me he texted her to come back over). The threesome was a success, but post event, I am so emptional now. I get upset over things, I dont care for him to touch me, I break down crying randomly. Maybe I am insecure because I find it even hard to eat and sleep sometimes. I fall asleep and I see him and her and I wake up upset and crying. I am trying to cope, but seem to have a hard time doing so. I told him how I feel but he reassures me I am the only one and he has told me how much he loves me over and over from before the threesome to right after it. I just feel so lost now. Angry at myself, feeling guilt and remorse. I have been mean to him as a defense mechanism because if I don't... I will jist breakdown and cry everytime. Did I mention I am also 20 weeks pregnant and so my emotional hormones is definitely at a peak and not helping
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An_253390 responded:
Posting anonymously because I post on other boards, and don't really want my bedroom details out there! I feel for you, especially being pregnant. My wife and I did a threesome with another guy, her fantasy, and it went great. She talked about what a good experience it was for days, almost too much! Afterwards I had similar thoughts or feelings to what you described, wondering if something else would happen between them, then feeling guilty for thinking that about her! We just talked about it a lot, and eventually came up with some agreements between us that really helped me. Like no calls or texts between them. Some stuff we'd already worked out before hand, but going over it again afterwards helped me relax. We read a lot about this stuff before we did it , and without fail the #1 suggestions was to talk often and openly. Happy to say we've done it twice more since the first time, and are just waiting for the right situation to come along to do one with another woman, that's proving to be much more difficult! Good luck to you with this situation, and that new baby!
 
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krh33 replied to An_253390's response:
Thank you very much for your input. We have started talking about it and I do feel better now but the feelings still linger. Husband speaks bluntly, which is one reason I adore him... he told he cant fix something he doesnt know about. The rules we made were more bedroom related, which was basically only 1 rule. I told him I didnt want to do it again, but your post gives me hope that itll be okay and maybe one day (far from now), it can be a different approach and experience.
 
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hairyd replied to krh33's response:
krh33 if your into it. The next time you may want to select another male as An_25.. stated. It is easier to get a male.
It would be interesting to know if you husband would be wanting him to come back. Then you will both have the view of and experience of this sex option. Best wishes with the baby. But after the birth of the baby your body will change and desire. Therefore it may not be for another 20 years.
Always remember your penis is unique, just like every man.
 
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hairyd replied to krh33's response:
krh33 Next time you may want to share another male. Then you will both have the experience and view of this sex option. Best wishes with the baby. Things will change after the birth. Always only do what both of you agree to.
Always remember your penis is unique, just like every man.
 
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An_253390 replied to krh33's response:
Just take it one step at a time, no need to worry about if it will ever happen again. First thing to do is make sure you two are in a healthy relationship for the sake of each other and the new baby. If it happens again then that will probably be due to the condition of your relationship at that point. As for the comment from Hairy D that your desire will change after the baby, he is right, but I can tell you from experience that my wife is way more into sex after the birth of our kids. So, ya never know which way it will go!
 
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krh33 responded:
Thank you I had thought about it with another male, but at this moment in time, it would feel more like I was doing it out of spite. I broke a long ago promise to myself and I think it is my own shame that guilts me through this process. I always said to be the girl joining the couple, not the girl in the couple. I do appreciate the comments, I am an extrovert and the more I speak about it, the easier it is for me to comprehend the full picture. We wont be doing this again anytime soon, but I have always been very open-minded and willing to explore my sexuality further so I just never imagined this outcome. I am 29 and I have noticed little by little that I am getting into my "prime" because I keep wanting more so maybe after kids and this hiccup, itll be a different experience later in life.
 
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An_253390 replied to krh33's response:
Well, having also been the 2nd guy in a threesome, I can tell you being the "other" one is much easier, it's just all fun! I'm guessing that since you both enjoyed it, there's a good chance that a year or two after the child is born, you may find yourself considering the possibility of some form of a threesome again.
 
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hairyd replied to krh33's response:
In Cali Colombia a woman may have sex only with her husband, and the first time this happens, her mother must be in the room to witness the sex.

You know the male is going to do it right for his wife.
The mother in law's long tongue will tell everyone if he was best or worst than his brother in laws.
Always remember your penis is unique, just like every man.
 
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An_253390 replied to hairyd's response:
Kind of an obscure link between the situation krh is in and the unfortunate bedroom habits of those in Cali Colombia. Creepy fact #1 - The mother must watch. Creepy fact #2 - his performance will be compared to her brothers. What do they do in Cali if the husband and wife decide they want to do a mfm? Invite more family members to watch since there will be more men? Hey KRH, if you decide to get back into 3somes, don't do it in Cali Colombia.
 
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krh33 responded:
LOL - you guys are making me laugh. I will remember that if I want awkward sex then I know exactly where exactly to go! I can imagine the possibility of a mfm and my husband wanting to do it right. I am already feeling better about the situation and I think next time, I will be the only point of contact for my own sake.
 
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hairyd replied to krh33's response:
krh glad your feeling better. In life we all have a second thought after it was over. But we talk about it and then live our next chapter of life.

An_ I only made the comment because different cultures; different sex. The mother is there only for her daughter on the wedding night. (It may not be the girl's first time.) Therefore it would have to be fmf for 2 witnesses.
Always remember your penis is unique, just like every man.
 
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krh33 replied to hairyd's response:
I was having second thoughts but after the 3rd day, I just kind of forgot about it and now don't really dwell on it anymore. The idea is still hot, but maybe different "rules of engagement" will occur where I may not think about it as much. I think I just let that moment of insecurity get to me more than I should have and I know better with the relationship I have with my husband. It's like that old saying... "a woman's lot is a woman's worry." Thank you for the support
 
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An_253390 replied to krh33's response:
Sounds like another threesome may happen sooner rather than later! Hope I get to have one with another woman before you get your 2nd one, regardless of which version you choose!
 
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krh33 replied to An_253390's response:
It does sound promising honestly, I think it was the approach that really may have been the reason for my hesitancy. I do hope you get that chance and you enjoy it as much as your wife did with the other man.


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