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    I HATE SEX!!!!! What kind of future do I have if I don't have the drive to please or ability to feel pleasure from trying to please a man?........but I still love men.
    Quinn100 posted:
    I'm not gay, I love men and masturbation is fine, as long as I don't go deep. I just HATE SEX!!!! If feels like my organs are being juggled around when the thrusting begins. It doesn't matter how lubed I am, how gentle the guy is, how aroused I am or how in love I am with the guy, I never have any drive for it or get satisfaction from it.

    With my last boyfriend, we only had sex once and that was 4 years ago. After it was over, all I could think was "How in the hell can I do this on a regular basis? How can I do this a few times a week and be happy? How will I ever please a man sexually that I'm in love with if I dread sex, which is so important in most relationships, especially for men?" After no sex took place again and time was passing by, my boyfriend started getting angry at me and thought I was cheating. Then he asked over and over again why I just cut sex off and why I never initiated it or even talked about the sex we had. He told me he really enjoyed sex with me and thought we'd be like rabbits. I didn't tell him the truth because of what it would mean, as with any man. Telling a man that I absolutely hate sex means that I will be lonely for the rest of my life. What man wants a woman who they know hates sex. Also, I hate blowjobs more than I hate sex. I get no pleasure from it, it hurts my head terribly and spitting on it and having to swallow my own spit over and over is horrible.

    I'm in my mid 30s and don't see any hope for my future. It has gotten so bad that I've considered suicide. The thought of me never being able to please a man sexually is beyond frustrating. Plus, thinking of a man that I love eventually finding a woman who will please him sexually is mentally damaging. When I hear other people talking about how great sex is, makes me feel like less than a woman or person, altogether. Why does everyone else find it pleasurable, except for me? What can I do?
    stevesmw responded:
    Making love and intercourse are two different things.
    It's about pleasing each other and only doing things that you are comfortable with.

    On your side, do you enjoy receiving oral sex? Do you enjoy being manually stimulated while being kissed and embraced?

    As a man I would be content with being given a hand job and briefly finishing in a vagina. As long as the relationship is good and there is a lot of affection, I think other men might feel the same. Could you comfortably accept doing this?
    fcl responded:
    Have you considered the possibility that you are simply asexual? Here's a link to an overview of asexuality:

    Read it and see if anything sounds familiar.

    If you do identify as asexual, please understand that there is nothing wrong with you. There are many others like you in the world.

    Be kind to yourself.
    There's nothing inherently dirty about sex, but if you try real hard and use your imagination you can overcome that.

    Helpful Tips

    Difficulty having an orgasm?Expert
    Try reading Becoming Orgasmic: A Sexual and Personal Growth Program for Women by Julia Heiman , Joseph Ph.D. LoPiccolo and David ... More
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