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    Issues with length of time until orgasm
    An_253543 posted:
    I am a divorced male and recently entered into the dating world. My issue is when I am intimate with a lady it takes forever to achieve orgasm. I feel guilty when it takes so long and usually stop. I can masturbate on my own, no problem just normal relations just don't cut it. I know it's more mental but maybe I am missing something.
    georgiagail responded:
    You indicate you have just entered into the dating world.

    Do you believe your inability to achieve an orgasm quickly has something to do with simple performance anxiety since this dating appears rather new to you?

    sluggo45692 responded:
    If you just entered the dating world again, sorry about your divorce and glad your getting out there. As for taking to long to orgasm, Don't feel guity. Most guys last about a minute after getting out of a marriage. I did. I was so ready to get layed, when it happened. Boom it was over. I lasted about 30 seconds. I had never done that before. If you know your going on a date, don't relieve your self for about 2-3 days before. You won't last as long. If you think your going to long, switch up and do something else. Give her oral, cuddle for a couple minutes, stroke her back, make out some, Do something else then go back to sex. She will enjoy it all and so will you. Relax, have fun, and enjoy. Good Luck
    dfromspencer responded:
    I guess I would have to ask how long do you feel is too long, and are the women complaining?

    If the lady you are with starts to squirm around, chances are you are taking too long. If not, relax and enjoy the ride!

    Sorry to hear about your divorce, that sucks, I know, I've been there! Real glad to hear you are getting out there, and getting laid!!!

    Good luck to you!!!

    Anon_475 responded:
    As you have said that you have no trouble when masturbating I think the problem lies there. A firm (dry) grip is much more intense than a warm, wet, slippery vagina. you have trained yourself to be less sensitive. so now it's up to you to "retrain" yourself to appreciate a vagina.

    I'm guessing that oral sex doesn't do it for you either for the same reasons...

    Your issue is not mental, it's physical. Learn to masturbate with a looser grip and use lube.
    An_253543 replied to georgiagail's response:
    Without a doubt yes, my ex was very abusive to me and now I find it hard to focus when doing something as intimate as sex. Very frustrated here but not the end of the world I guess.
    Justaguy62 replied to dfromspencer's response:
    30-40 minutes, then I just give up. Mostly mental I figure but like to hear all the opinions
    An_253543 replied to Anon_475's response:
    You may have something here! Did this happen in your life? Interesting
    Anon_475 replied to An_253543's response:
    No. It's just a very common problem.

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