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Anon_174866 posted:
I am 51, wife is 50 and been married over 30 years. Our sex life is slow - only once or twice a month on a good month if I am lucky. The years have had a toll on both of us; however, she still turns me on and drives me crazy. I love her naked body in spite of stretch marks, scars, wrinkles, etc. I love making love and giving her oral sex! I often mention getting naked, taking pictures, different places, etc and she doesn't seem interested. She used to get soooo WETT and I absolutely LOVED it and it put me over the edge. She said was messy and has mentally stopped that from happening. I Love her more than ever. Just want to know what happened. Appreciate any help or tips.
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dfromspencer responded:
It sounds as if she has decided that enough is enough? She may be mentally embarrassed by her body? She may not even know it? Has she ever said her body was ugly, or something along those lines??? She doesn't like the sagging, stretch marks, something like that? It could be mental, and the only way she might get help, is to see a counselor. You could talk to her till you are blue faced, and still not get through to her? She may have lost her drive for sex? Her libido may be waning? She could possibly have a chemical imbalance? It could be soooo many things?

I'm sorry, but the way it looks from what you say, your wife needs to see a professional, starting with her doctor! It may be the only way to find out what is wrong?

Good luck!!!

Dennis
 
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fcl responded:
Given her age she may be in perimenopause or even menopause. This takes a toll on her hormones. The ones that control her sex drive. This can also cause problems getting wet. You want to know what happened? Maybe it was just life?

The first thing you need to do is talk to her. Somewhere non-sexual (as in NOT the bedroom). Ask her how she feels, whether she still finds you attractive. Ask her if she feels that something is missing from her life. Tell her how much you love her. Tell her how much you miss the physical side of your relationship. Then see where the conversation leads you ...

If she's menopausal then she may or may not be open to seeing her doctor about hormone replacement therapy. It's a subject you might want to bring up if this is the case.

Having said all of the above, I'd also like to point out that there can be other causes for her loss of interest. How long has she been like this? Try to think back to when it started and see if it tied in with any major event in her life - job loss, serious illness, new job, change of home, bereavement, etc.
There's nothing inherently dirty about sex, but if you try real hard and use your imagination you can overcome that.


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