Skip to content
My WebMD Sign In, Sign Up
fantasy ideas
avatar
theredletter posted:
Hi there I have what may to some people seem an odd problem. I am a some what attractive 25 year old woman who has been married for going on six years. Here goes I love sex I could have it every day even twice a day with on qualms unless I am death bed ill that is. My husband however is much less um motivated. He is a very well endowed man thst dosent enjoy porn and rarely masterbates granted all he really has to do if he wants to get off is hint a bit and I take care of him. We have had interesting sex in diffrent places and have enjoyed it with one catastrophic failure when we had a threesome with a friend for his birthday. She kept it foreplay only with him and then asked if she could watch for a few after a hard orgasam she then fled that probably sounds dramatic but she litterally ran from the room and walked home. We remain friends and even make jokes about it but truthfully it sent him into a depression that he has just recently gotten over. I need some new ideas suggestions things we havent tried. I ask for his ideas and he pretty much sayes he will do whatever makes me happy but has no real input on the matter.

What we have tryed

Objects, sex in strange places, me tied up, him tied up, choking, playing rough (aka smacking biting hair pulling), dirty talk, soft touching, mutual masterbation, watching porn together, being loud, being quiet, shower sex, road head/hand jobs, anticipation sex setting it up and telling him while he is at work what will happen when he gets home, sexy texts and pictures, he has watched me with other girls. To be honest I wanna suprise him try something new but im all out of ideas.

Help
Reply
 
avatar
fcl responded:
Not everybody sees sex in the same way as you do. Some men enjoy closeness, warmth, intimacy and really could do without the bells and whistles. Perhaps he's one of those? In that case, it would probably be a big surprise if you gave him a romantic evening where you focus solely on him and use no "props".

Have you ever sat down and discussed with him (outside of the bedroom, obviously) what he really likes?
There's nothing inherently dirty about sex, but if you try real hard and use your imagination you can overcome that.
 
avatar
theredletter replied to fcl's response:
We have a tender loveing relationship outside the bedroom he likes to hold hands and go on long walks we have pg 13 date nights and enjoy one another soely for conversation. We talk openly about sex and the only thing we have ever done that he didnt like (his words not mine) was the threesome fail witch come to think of it was the only fantasy he ever shared with me we have aggreed to try it again in the future witj someone diffrent.

He enjoys the novelty of new things before we were married he never kept a girlfriend longer than three months. I enjoy providing that for him and he has always shared that he enjoys it he just has no requests
And im out of ideas.

On the all about sex tone this question may be precived to have or relationship is healthy we talk about everything that dosent fix the fact that I have noticed him gettimg board with the 'normal sex' the last week or so and ive got nothing I can think of tgat we hsvrnt done
 
avatar
georgiagail replied to theredletter's response:
" I have noticed him gettimg board with the 'normal sex' the last week or so and ive got nothing I can think of tgat we hsvrnt done"

Why is it up to you to keep the sexual spark alive in this marriage?

Gail
 
avatar
theredletter replied to georgiagail's response:
Wow I got a real man hater vibe from that comment it is both of our responsbility to make the relationship work he work 12 hour days six days a week and comes home to me every night he loves our son and takes the time to tell me im pretty even on a crap day me trying to keep our sex life fresh and cooking dinner most nights hardly makes me solely responsible for our spark. Whew
 
avatar
stevesmw replied to theredletter's response:
I'm a man and not a man hater. This is your issue.
He doesn't sound bored, you do.

For me making love is about pleasing your partner. You are interested in pleasing him and he is interested in pleasing you. Things might work better for you if you concentrated on intimacy instead of experimentation.
 
avatar
sluggo45692 replied to theredletter's response:
Hi red,
I don't think you should get man "hater" vibes, just women who feel that sex is a 2 way street. Both partners have to contribute.
From this posting, you say he works 12 hours a day, 6 days a week. Comes home to his loving wife and tells her she pretty, even if she doesn't feel it. Honey, you got a good man.
You cook, clean, take care of the children and still want sex all the time. Honey, he's got a good woman.
I'm glad you want to keep the bed room exciting, because not all women feel that way. There is no NORMAL sex. Sex is always new and wonderful each time. The rut comes in to play when it's climb on board and you tell me the ceiling needs painting. That's board sex.

Don't make it about just sex. Make it sensual and erotic. Make it foreplay. Sex is just the act of a male copulating with a woman (hetorsexual). The build up to that act is what it's all about. Believe me, I think your man is in good hands.
I would still be married to my ex wife if she did half the stuff you discribed in your posting
.
Another suggestion, ask him what he wants. Some nights he maybe worn out from work and needs to recharge. He may even have thought or heard of something you haven't done. He may even want to do some of the "old" stuff you already have done. I know I would have like my ex to give a little road pleasure. Accually my ex gave me a bj once and said we were going to do it more. I got it one more time in 5 years, 3 times total in 19 years. Wonder why she's my EX?

Last suggestion, get a book on positions. It's better than porn, because it tells you how to get into those positions and new idea for better sex. Besides no one knows everything about sex and it's only dirty if you think it is. I hope you realize that your going to keep your man very happy as long as you show him love and apprecation. Good Luck


Helpful Tips

Difficulty having an orgasm?Expert
Try reading Becoming Orgasmic: A Sexual and Personal Growth Program for Women by Julia Heiman , Joseph Ph.D. LoPiccolo and David ... More
Was this Helpful?
5 of 7 found this helpful

Related News

There was an error with this newsfeed

Related Drug Reviews

  • Drug Name User Reviews

Report Problems With Your Medications to the FDA

FDAYou are encouraged to report negative side effects of prescription drugs to the FDA. Visit the FDA MedWatch website or call 1-800-FDA-1088.

For more information, visit Dr. Becker-Phelps' website