Skip to content


    Attention All WebMD Community Members:

    These message boards are closed to posting. Please head on over to our new WebMD Message Boards to check out and participate in the great conversations taking place:

    He's never satisfied
    An_253971 posted:
    By reading some of the stories, I see that my situation is quite common. My boyfriend & I have been together 3 years and have known eachother since high school. We're great friends & really enjoy our time together. I love him, he loves me but the only real issue we ever have is he can't get enough sex!

    Last night for instance, we had sex, jumped in the shower afterwards together, attempted to have sex again but honestly sex in the shower always sounds better than it actually is. So we proceed to get dressed & head out to dinner. We had a great time, talked, laughed etc. On the drive home he drops the hint that he wants more sex. I decline because I'm full from dinner & not really feeling it. He seemed to have taken it "ok". Back at home we're just hanging out watching tv, its Tuesday night afterall, we both work in the morning. I excuse myself & change into my pjs and let him know I'm gong to bed. He then comes into the bedroom to advise me that he's NOT satisfied and wants more sex. I again tell him I'm not feeling it. He then goes on to say " well if you don't want to have sex, there at other things YOU can do!" Like any other man, he loves blowjobs. But I'm not budging!! I'm so full from dinner if I put anything in my mouth, I'm gonna puke!!

    He then storms out of the house & goes and buys himself a pack of cigarettes,(you he's been smoking an electric cigarette for 8 months trying to kick he habit). When I asked him why he brought a pack, he blames it on his "frustrations" and that I did nothing to help the situation. He has some nerve!!! I refuse to be made feel guilty and even worse as if the times we do have sex aren't good enough. Its a very sad feeling.

    I often wonder how he would react to, If and when his own 17 year old daughter is sexually active, is made to feel like its her JOB to satisfy a man each and everytime he deems it necessary?!
    I love him & really want to spend the rest of my life with him... BUT not at the price of being bullied into sex.

    Thanks for listening!
    dfromspencer responded:
    Since you never gave an age, except for his daughter, I am guessing you are not spring chickens? What he is demanding is unreasonable to you, but not him? Yep, that is very common! One's libido may be more than the other one's! I suggest you talk to him, tell him in no uncertain terms that you can't handle all that sex! And, if he still wants more, he will have to start pleasuring himself!

    Do not let him brow beat you into having sex if you don't feel like it! He should be more understanding than he is, that's for sure!

    Good luck, I hope you can open his eye's to other experiences!!!

    Tootie526 replied to dfromspencer's response:
    Ooops...He's 37 & I'm 36.
    Its so frustrating to deal with. He uses his sex life to validate himself. He calls it rejection, I call it just not wanting to!
    Thanks Dennis
    queston replied to Tootie526's response:
    Seriously, does he masturbate? He should--it's really not reasonable to expect you to service him multiple times a day.

    Is he a good and generous lover, or is it all about him getting off? If the former, than I think you should just tell him something like "I love you and I love having sex with you. It's very satisfying. But I'm simply not interested in having sex as frequently as you are. I don;t have the energy for it. Can't you just take up the slack through masturbation?"

    If he's not a good and generous lover, then you have larger problems, and of course no wonder you have had enough sometimes.
    sluggo45692 responded:
    Glad you won't be bullied into sex. I'm think it's good you have known each other for so long and then hooked up. I couldn't even tell you where any of my high school friends are. I understand people have different sexual drives and needs, but one must ensure the other is comfortable in doing anything sexual.

    Your bf shouldn't use you as his excuse to smoke and his frustrations of trying to quit. If he's been trying for 8 months, he's failed months ago. E-cigarettes are just another form of tobacco abuse. Same as snuff, dip, and chew. Only quitting and not using is quitting. I was a 20 years smoker and quit. You have to mind set your self to quit and then do it. I haven't smoked in 10 years and still get cravings.

    He also has to take when you say no, it means no. You control what goes in your body. If he doesn't like it, he should take his problem in hand. Sex should be about both partners and equal. Not "I'm mounting you and your taking it." This is coming from a man who lived in a marriage with a 2 year sexless period. She's my ex now, because she wanted sex with someone else. I never told her "no" for sex, but I sure heard it enough from her.

    Stand your ground. Sounds like you like sex and want more, just not when your uncomfortable. You love him and care for him. He should feel the same for you. Good Luck

    Helpful Tips

    Difficulty having an orgasm?Expert
    Try reading Becoming Orgasmic: A Sexual and Personal Growth Program for Women by Julia Heiman , Joseph Ph.D. LoPiccolo and David ... More
    Was this Helpful?
    6 of 9 found this helpful

    Related Drug Reviews

    • Drug Name User Reviews

    Report Problems With Your Medications to the FDA

    FDAYou are encouraged to report negative side effects of prescription drugs to the FDA. Visit the FDA MedWatch website or call 1-800-FDA-1088.

    For more information, visit Dr. Becker-Phelps' website