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An_254077 posted:
My boyfriend's ex is 5months pregnant and we r all confused. He's accepted responsibility of baby and mother but does not know what to do. He says his decision will be after delivery. Please advice me and us. Thanks
fcl responded:
It sounds like he's going to wait until after the baby is done to ask for a DNA test to be sure he's the father. There isn't really very much you can do for the time being other than decide to wait it out while accepting the fact that he may leave you or decide not to invest any more time in such an uncertain scenario. The ball's in your court.
There's nothing inherently dirty about sex, but if you try real hard and use your imagination you can overcome that.
sluggo45692 replied to fcl's response:
The question is how long have you been together and how long ago have they been separated? You can ask for a Quanitive B-HcG test. It's expensive, but it will give you a more exact lenght of pregnancy. This is an added expence, but the only way to tell if the baby's his is a DNA test. If he thinks it is and wants to help means he's a good man. If he doesn't think it's his and doesn't want to help, a good Idea would be to put money aside in case it is his.
As for him taking responsibility for his ex, I would suggest you don't get to involved with him. If you only known him for a few months, it's still early in a relationship to avoid major problems later, like trying to move out of living together. If you are living together, protect yourself and keep your items & financial separate from his. I don't think you want to pay for his kid. Please don't become pregnant with his child, until you find out what he's going to do after he finds out about the other baby. It could make your life very difficult. This is a little fatherly advise. Good Luck
fcl replied to fcl's response:
LOL - I meant until after the baby is BORN!

If you are doubting the date of conception, rather than ask the mother to get an expensive test that she might refuse, your bf might simply ask her to see pictures from the ultrasound. All of the important data is on there...
There's nothing inherently dirty about sex, but if you try real hard and use your imagination you can overcome that.
sluggo45692 replied to fcl's response:
It's been 16 plus years since I've seen an ultra sound picture. It was black & gray and with a little penis you could barely make out. (my son). Didn't know about dating the fetus that way.
I think both FCL and I agree, be cautious.
Ewura replied to sluggo45692's response:
Thanks. But the DNA shows he's the father.
tlkittycat1968 replied to Ewura's response:
Was an amnio done for the DNA test? It's pretty rare for them to do an amnio just for a DNA test since there is a chance for miscarriage.
fcl replied to tlkittycat1968's response:
I was wondering that too. It's exceptionally rare for a doctor to do one just for DNA because it carries a risk of miscarriage (not to mention how expensive it is) and it's not necessary. All you have to do is wait for the baby to be born and take a cheek swab a few days later.
There's nothing inherently dirty about sex, but if you try real hard and use your imagination you can overcome that.

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