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    Not fair to him
    beautifulbuffalo posted:
    I suffer depression and when I do I want nothing to do with sex. I don't even want my husband to touch me. Is there a way I can satisfy his needs without just giving in to make him happy while I hate it.
    georgiagail responded:
    Get your depression adequately treated.

    beautifulbuffalo replied to georgiagail's response:
    My depressioin is being treated adequately. I have been suffereing from from depression for almost 20 years. My husband and I have been married for 29 years. He knows how I feel about sex. I wish it didn't exist. I want nothing to do with it.
    dfromspencer replied to beautifulbuffalo's response:
    Could it be, you may have an hormonal imbalance? Certain types of antidepressants can have a negative effect on hormones? When the natural hormones become effected by drugs, the feeling of wanting sex may go completely away? I have read this on this site, and other's. So many women say they take anti depressants and have lost their desire for sex. It has to be a hormonal thing?

    I suggest you see your doctor, and tell her/him just how you feel. At least then, you can rule that possibility out, right? I hope you really don't feel that way about sex, and still want to stay married to a man who still does? That would not be fair to him, or you!!! You must have liked it at some point in your life? Maybe you can again? Also, maybe you could talk to a counselor, or something?

    I wish you luck, but I wish your hubby even more!!!

    fcl responded:
    HAve you always felt this way? Is it possible that you might simply be asexual? Could it be that your depression stems from being asexual and married? Just a thought ...
    There's nothing inherently dirty about sex, but if you try real hard and use your imagination you can overcome that.
    beautifulbuffalo replied to fcl's response:
    I don't know what that means asexual. I have not always felt this way only since the past 20 years. I suffer PTSD also from being sexually abused as a child but I've worked through that,
    fcl replied to beautifulbuffalo's response:
    Was there any event around that time (20 years ago) that might have triggered your libido loss? Birth, bereavement, new job, job loss, moving home, changing town, illness, etc?

    Have you considered seeing a therapist about this to try and work through it?

    Here's some information on asexuality. See if anything sounds familiar:
    There's nothing inherently dirty about sex, but if you try real hard and use your imagination you can overcome that.
    beautifulbuffalo replied to fcl's response:
    I had 2 children one is now 28 and the other 26. I lost my father in 1998. I think your right I have asexuality.
    dfromspencer replied to beautifulbuffalo's response:
    Then what do you think you should do about hubby?
    kramer1961 replied to dfromspencer's response:
    to the original poster; On the one hand you attribute your lack of sexuality to depression, and on the other claim that the depression is being adequately treated. That seems a contradiction.

    If your depression is being treated adequately, wouldn't that largely preclude having it? I would also suggest you readdress the abuse issue. The notion that you can work through an issue like that and then put it on the shelf forever doesn't ring true.. It happened to you, and its a part of you.

    There is at least one other issue that comes to mind, and that has to do with other medical issues, and area that is so broad, i can only suggest that a conversation with a doctor would be a good idea.


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