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Almost 60-Lousy Sex life: Need Advice!!
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Anon_54981 posted:
I'm almost 60 and have had a really lousy sex life! I've only had three partners throughout my life. The first two were were very 'vanilla' and didn't like to experiment.

Another problem I have is that my penis points down and I'm not very large (though the woman I have just started dating says it's not as small as I think). I cannot use any positions that require my penis to go up very far otherwise I get a shot of pain and my erection is gone. A urologist did an ultrasound years ago and said it looks that at some point there was some damage and there was scar tissue causing the problem.

So, I have a number of issues that are incredibly frustrating and I need advice.

1) I have not learned a lot of sexual positions over my life. My new lady friend asked which was my favorite position and it was difficult because I just have not done many. It's embarrassing because women expect (rightly so, I *guess*) that guys by their late 20's should be pretty experienced with sex. So I feel like a young kid just getting started.....

2) Because I'm fairly small in penis size some positions are just not good enough...others I can't do because of the positioning. I don't want to get her bored with the same old positions all the time...

3) She says I'm incredible at foreplay ... one of the best she's been with ... I'm sure that's true because I spend so much time more time at it instead of intercourse.

4) I have a low libido...my t-count is extraordinarily low (I'm using AndroGel now), and I use Cialis, but I still don't seem to be able to be hard enough for intercourse and I can't keep my erection that long...even with the Cialis (and holy crap, even with a great health insurance, the co-pay is $110 for 24 pills to cover 3 months!!!).

I am so frustrated and down about this. Sex is an important part of any relationship and I don't want to lose this great woman I've met.

I almost feel like I need 'instruction' in learning how to have good intercourse. I've had a problem since I was young with premature ejaculation but on anti-depressants it has helped me quite a bit since a side effect of many of those meds is not ejaculating so fast.

I've looked for certified sex therapists in my area to speak with but there are only 1 or 2 and neither of them take any insurance (and they are VERY expensive).

Any ideas?
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georgiagail responded:
Suggestions?

Yes.

Why don't you stop worrying about all of this.

The only one is this relationship that seems to be overly worried and frustrated about your size, your penis pointing downward and your performance is, well, you.

Gail
 
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hairyd responded:
Anon; take the responsible that your first wives were vanilla. The man has to be leader and make sex enjoyable for his lady.
Therefore she will want and let him do different sexual pleasure for her and him.
Re visit the doctor about removing the scar tissues. How many inches of your cock will be lost?
Spend $33.00 per month for 8 pills. Take twice a week. I have friends that pay $900.00 a month for 30 pills.
Use your mind, your fist, fingers, tongue, etc. for sex.
Each night have sex in a different room; use any object, in any and every opening of your and her body. You may start in the kitchen or bathroom.
Until you tried it, and neither found pleasure. Use it the other 5 nights.
Buy sex toys for your butt and hers. One a week or one a month. Buy a ex large fake cock or strap on to finish what you started or the pill less nights.
Get with a friend ask if you can do a three way. Watch and learn from him.
Watch a adult movie together; agree to do what you view together.
Ask her if you can have a friend over; Watch and Learn.

Sexual pleasure can be cheap and fun. The instructions are in your and her head. No Rules, naked bodies only.
Always remember your penis is unique, just like every man.
 
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sluggo45692 responded:
My suggestions:

1. Listen to your partner. Your great foreplay, your size is good, she wants to please your more. No down side yet

2. Your seeing your dr and taking the meds you need. You have good insurance. Your good on the medical front. See if surgery can repair the scar tissue.

3. Karma Sutra book. Read it. There has got to be a position your comfortable with and gives you both pleasure. Porn is ok if your wanting live action positions, but they are actors. Most of the men have an elephant trunk for a penis. Hell they make most men feel small. The women prossibly couldn't feel a average size man.

4. Make your partner happy, then take your problem in hand and shoot where you want. She can play catch, wear it, or put it where ever you want. I have always been a firm believer make her happy first, then you can do as you want or can.

5. Women like sex and foreplay. Most of the time, she will have a lot of good releases before you even enter her. She will want to give you the same you gave her. She will tell you what she wants and what you can do. All you got to do is ask. My gf feels like she's being selfish if all I do is give her oral and don't finish myself off. After 5 years, she still hasn't realized doing oral sex on her is gradifing for me.

6. All ED medications are to help, but are not a fix all. If she's not complaining, just keep doing what your doing. Keep her happy in other ways and if you can ejaculate do it. If not, just keep her orgasming. My gf and other partners from before have been to the point of being so satified without penetration, they are willing to stop. Let her think it's your turn next time and then do her again and again. I orgasm about every 2 time we have sex together. Sometimes it could be on the 4 time and we are lucky to have sex once a week due to schedules.

I hope these help. Good Luck


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