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No desire for sex after total hysterectomy.
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hopelessover46 posted:
I am female and 46 years of age. I had a total hysterectomy at age 41. Before the procedure I was an every night kinda girl and adventurous in the bedroom. Now I have no desire for any sex at any time. I mean none, notta. Don't even look at me. It is awful for my husband and I don't know what to do.
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sluggo45692 responded:
It's not hopeless, but you need to see your doctor for hormone replacement therapy. When you say a total hysterectomy, I'm assuming you mean from ovaries to cervix. Ovaries produce the hormones needed stimulate sexual desire and need. Unfortunately, with a total hysterectomy, all you have is the vagina, but no drive to use it. You may have lost the ability to climax, because science believes that the orgasm comes from the stimulation and spasms of the uterus.
This site has a community for women's health and can give you more information.

Good Luck
 
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georgiagail replied to sluggo45692's response:
You don't lose the ability to orgasm without a uterus but the lack of hormones can make the desire for sex difficult for some.

As suggested, it is time for a discussion about the use of hormone replacement therapy with your gynecologist. There are many choices available to help with this issue.

Gail
 
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sluggo45692 replied to georgiagail's response:
Hi Gail,
that's why I said "science believes" and she may have lost. I know each woman and surgery is different. I haven't had relations with a woman who has the surgery. When I was doing my clinical rotations, the GYN doctor told this to the women who had the surgery. He knew more about it than I did and he was a really good teacher.

I do know hormone treatment is one of the ways to increase sexual drive, keep sex traits from decreasing, and has some difficult side effects. I hope she will be back to her old self again sexually very soon with no side effects.

Good luck
 
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georgiagail replied to sluggo45692's response:
"Science" doesn't "believe" any of this. This is more of an old wives tale although the uterus does spasm during orgasm and that feeling is, of course, gone once this organ is removed.

What the gynecologist told this woman was inaccurate (and nonsense) since the source of the ability to orgasm remains the clitoris (and, for some women the often searched for "g spot" which is deeper clitoral tissue.

Gail
 
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kramer1961 replied to georgiagail's response:
Gail is "g spot" on.

Hormone replacement therapy seems to be hit and miss on female libido though. The female sex drive seems to be more complicated than the male drive, and even with men testosterone therapy isn't always effective.

Still, hormone replacement therapy is the only game in town. Some women on this or another forum once claimed that testosterone therapy did them wonders, and apparently it can be helpful to women in much smaller doses than for men.

One day there will be a horny pill, and the price point on that baby will make viagra seem nearly free.

kram
 
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hopelessover46 replied to sluggo45692's response:
Yes. Total from ovaries to cervix. I talk to my OBGYN every time I go which is once a year. I tell her how bad it is and she keeps uping my Wellbutrin. I am taking 450 mg now and nothing different. I am also taking 1 mg of estradoil. I love my husband and I know this is very hard on him. He has been very understanding but I see the dissappointment in his face. Is there anything over the counter that I can try??
 
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kramer1961 replied to hopelessover46's response:
My understanding (which is limited indeed) is that Wellbutrin will kill what little libido you have. Your OBGYN seems to feel if she can create a happy enough state you won't miss your libido, or even notice that your husband is having sex with you.

I just checked here on webmd, and an, "altered interest in intercourse is sometimes indicated."

I'd get a second opinion.
kram
 
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hopelessover46 replied to kramer1961's response:
I didn't know that. The way she is telling me that it helps. Thanks for the info. I will do that.
 
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nohard responded:
Hi Hopeless, Have a look at this link, you will see what your up against, http://www.drugs.com/wellbutrin.html
If you read down it the side effects show it reduces your libido, for you its the last thing you want, and antidepressants will do that, for both men and women.
Its your hormones the need a kick up the 80s, if you know what I mean.
I would see your doctor get a blood test done for your hormones, and take it from there, get the right hormones ragging round your body, your poor husband will think your 20 year old all over again.
Lucky him.
Good Luck
 
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bigred53 replied to nohard's response:
Don't be hopeless. Are you on any other medications besides the Wellbutrin and estradoil? There are SO many medications that can mess with your libido or even your ability to climax - Blood pressure meds, cholesterol meds in addition to antidepressants.

I am a 60 year old post menopausal woman (not on any hormones) and fortunately my libido is through the roof, however, due to different medications it sometimes takes quite a while to be able to climax - like an hour of almost constant stimulation. That can be very frustrating to say the least.

If I were you I would talk to my doctor about lowering the dosage of the Wellbutrin in addition to having my hormone levels tested. More hormones might be all you need.

I'm sure that you must feel pressured to feel sexual again. Don't do that to yourself. Enjoy the time you have with your husband. Ask him to give you a massage or just rub your feel. I think you are stressing yourself out about this and believe me stress will F*** you up big time. Spend quality time with your husband without thinking that you 'have' to have sex. Let him know that you are trying and that you want your libido back. Ask him to help you feel sexy again. Possibly you could try incorporating some toys into your together time. Or even try watching some porn together.

I wish you all the luck in the world and please let us know if you find something that helps.

Michelle
 
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hopelessover46 replied to bigred53's response:
Thank You NOHARD for the website.

Yes I am on blood pressure meds. I have had all my hormone levels tested. My progesterone is low but she has not give me anything for that. My GYN has tried me on Estradoil with testosterone but I had bad UTI's so she took me off of it. I also have low vitamin D. Taking over the counter for that. Not only do I have no desire I am very very dry (we use KY jelly) and it is painful to have sex. As far as climax, its like I am numb. So when we do have sex I fake it. I don't like having to do that at all. I tell myself that my husband got 20 years of GREAT sex. I don't think our marriage will last if I can't find something to help me. I am at my wits end. I don't know what else I can say to my GYN for her to give me something that will help me. Just very very frustrated.
 
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fcl replied to hopelessover46's response:
Have you told your gyn that you're having pain during sex. She might prescribe a topical estrogen cream.

If you find that she's being unhelpful maybe its time to find a new doc ... You're doing your best to get your libido back and she seems to be eithe shooting you in the foot or patting your head and saying 'there, there, dear ..."
There's nothing inherently dirty about sex, but if you try real hard and use your imagination you can overcome that.
 
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sluggo45692 replied to fcl's response:
I agree with fcl, If your not getting results with you doctor, find another. How often are you seeing your doctor? She may be able to help find a specialist who deals with your situation.

Please don't fake it for your husband. I know when/if my partner isn't in to it and It takes away from the specialness of love making. My ex use to just lay there sometimes, and she didn't understand what that did to me. Mercy sex is what it's called. I agree you want to have sex with your husband and from the sounds of it you can't have vaginal sex because of the pain.

Try other ways, which I know you have tried, but do the ones that won't hurt you and you still get to enjoy being with your husband. Bill Clinton was wrong, Oral is still sex. Don't be hurt with loving you man. He will like it better, if he knows he's not hurting you.

Good Luck
 
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nohard replied to hopelessover46's response:
Hi Hopeless, Please forget about faking an orgasm, OK just go to the is site, www.dodsonandross.com Dr Betty Dodson is the queen of orgasm's I suggest you post to her tell her your whole story, don't leave anything out, and just see what she comes back to with.


Ok google DHEA for women, this should increase your testosterone, kick up your libido and lift your energy levels, if you google tribulus for women, your find this runs along the same lines, it takes about 8 weeks to get to full power, but the two should help.


Vitamin D when ever you can get out in the sun, showing as much skin as you can, you just need 20 minutes, but the more the merrier I say, but then I now live in Greece.


Try vitamin B6 for your dry vagina, it should help get you wet, for most of the month.


As for you being on Wellbutrin, are you depressed, or have you been, if not why not just kick it for a couple of weeks and see just how you feel with out it, see how you body feels.


As for your marriage, look just hang in there and keep trying.
have a look round Dodson and ross for help, there's masturbating, oral sex, even just touching one an other, bath together, shower together, but keep him close as you can and happy, and don't forget the way to a mans heart is feed him good food, then shag his brains out or something else.
Do hope some of this helps.
Good Luck


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