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Help! Boyfriends lack of desire after 2 months together
faerychild69 posted:
Ok, I started dating this awesome guy 2 months ago and he does the cuddle thing and everything. I found out after the second date that he had ED. what a shock... he was very generous with foreplay, since i am 44 and a very sexual person. he is also 44. that type of intimacy was ok for the time being. i could deal with that. he does have a dr appt on the 4th of feb to see dr about it.. this is my big problem tho....the ED i can deal with, but it went from foreplay and kissing and holding to just holding and almost no foreplay at all. I initiate ALL the time.. anything i can think of that would arouse him but nothing. when i said something about him not wanting me he said it was just that he wanted me in his head but his body was not following in the same pathl. i tried to explain that sex for me was an emotional connection for me and he kinda got pissed and said it wasnt for him. holding and carressing me was... i am afraid now to try again to initiate anthing... no selfconfidence now.. what do i do or say to him and not hurt him?? help please dont know what to do..dont want to end relationship but this is to much for the begining of a relationship to cope with.
kramer1961 responded:
Rather than speculate, why not wait and see what the doctor says?

Its a positive that he's agreed to see a doctor on the issue, even though some of his remarks seem to imply that he knows more than he's telling.

dfromspencer responded:
I felt the exact same way!!! My head still wanted sex, very badly, but my body failed me!!! I was twenty five. It happens, and it kills us! It destroys our ability to give emotions, have relations with a woman!

I finally got the guts to see a doctor, I got a script for Levitra, and I have never looked back!! I'm betting your new B.F. will come out of this with something to boost his confidence back up?!! Please be patient, as this is a process?! He may have to go to an Urologist, also? He will then have the opportunity to talk with the doctor about witch plan he wants? Then comes the trial period. Hopefully, with the docs advice, he will be flying like an eagle once again?!!!

The main thing for you to be right now, is patient! I hope you see that? And, I also hope you can see how much he wants this, by seeing a doctor? Please give him time, you may be very thankful you did???


nohard responded:
Hi FC, is this total ED or does he get a semi erection, if he can get a semi then there is lots of hope for a full erection,
But OK get him back in the bed, tell him you want him to make you orgasm, he has fingers and a tongue, or you can get toys all these things work to get you there, and by doing this things may happen to him.
Go have a look on get the both of you to read some of the things on there, how to masturbate, how to orgasm, if you still have problems you can post to Dr Betty Dodson, she comes back with some great answers, she takes life one orgasm at a time, so lots of help.
But just get him back in bed, tell him he cant get out till you orgasm.
Good Luck
nohard responded:
Hi I just remembered this, its an article from a mag called Forum, I don't think its still in print, but I have a few old ones and this come from one, it may just help you.
The most important information I got from the convention was a method which makes it possible to have inter course with a flaccid or semi erect penis.

The following technique was described at the symposium: The man lies flat on his back, the women straddles him in a half kneeling position, leaning on her left knee, and on the right foot. This gives her room to manipulate with her right hand, She clamps the penis firmly but not to tightly at the base with her thumb and index finger (palm facing the mans body).This causes sufficient firmness to allow insertion. The women then sits firmly upon the penis. This approach permit she a wide range of movement and not only enables a considerable penetration but gives her the opportunity to rub her clitoris against her index finger.

When the erection is complete she may remove her hand and let her partner begin the active coital movement.

If for any reason this method doesn't not, then the couple should try a special friction technique between a flaccid penis and the clitoris. The man lies flat on his back. The women lies on top of him in a prone superior position. She begins to embrace and kiss him passionately. Then she starts a belly dance movement to stimulate the penis. Later she assumes a position which enables her to rub her clitoris to the soft penis. By kissing her partner and the clitoris friction she will get aroused, which, in turn, will excite her partner. Then he may achieve a partial or full erection.

In the former case she used the clamping technique, and in the latter case she may start coitus by inserting his penis.

It appears that more and more men are losing their ability to have intercourse with a women without her active participation, there is very little a man can do to cure his own impotence and sympathetic woman can do it for him.

What you have read above comes from a 1970 Forum magazine, its from a piece written by Dr Eugene Scheimann, when he went to a swingers convention in Chicago, and this was a small part on impotence/ED, its so us men could have some kind of sex lives before drugs come to the front to overcome ED
I do hope this is some help to both of you.
Good Luck

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