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How to stop his feeling guilty.....
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jenasci posted:
My fiance and I have been together for 2 1/2 years and I have never had an orgasm with him. I love sex with him, but he always seems a bit sad or guilty afterwards because I don't orgasm. He's always saying I'm the only girl he's ever been with that he's never "gotten off" and it makes him feel like he's not good enough. I've only been with one guy that ever gave me an orgasm and he did it with his fingers and not his penis. I've told my fiance many times that I love sex with him and that I do enjoy it, but he just doesn't belive it. He thinks he's too small and that I'm not attracted to him. I've tried telling him that not all women get off the same way and that this is not a problem with him, it's a problem with me...He won't listen.

I just don't know what to do anymore. I do love sex with him and his penis is average sized 5 - 5 1/2. HE has no problem getting off, but feels like giving up trying to get me off. I've told him I'm fine, but he just won't let it go most of the time.

Anyone have any ideas on how to get him over this so we can enjoy our sex life. I love him very much and together our family is growing. He has two boys from a previus marriage and I'm pregnant with our second daughter. I don't want to lose him or have him cheating on me just because I'm the one who can't reach orgasm with him.
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stevesmw responded:
He isn't failing you aren't failing. A orgasm from intercourse is not the norm. An orgasm is an orgasm. He should give you one using his fingers and then have his. Some women are like men in that once they have an orgasm, they need to wait for the second. Some women remain aroused after an orgasm and less stimulation is required for the second. Position and technique are also a factor. A girlfriend of mine never had an orgasm from intercourse, but pelvic contact during intercourse eventually got the job done. No amount of vaginal, penis thrusting was going to do it.
 
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diytestkitsdotcom responded:
Hi jenasci,

I just have to say, you are a very lucky girl to have found a partner who wants only your happiness. Not many are so lucky.

He makes such an effort to please you to the point where he sees that he is a failure when he can't achieve what he wants to give you. Rather, what he fails to see is that he has succeeded. In a different manner may be, but he has successfully made you feel loved and treasured, which transcends any physical pleasure there is. He had also, without his knowing, endeared himself to you further.

What you need to do is prove to him that he didn't fail, and more than that, he is unconditionally loved and appreciated. How? Don't just tell him how you feel, find ways to show him.


Like, surprise him with a dinner date complete with fancy table setting and formal clothes, but at the privacy of your own home. Get a friend or a relative to watch over the kids for the entire night. Cook his favorite food and buy his favorite wine. Wear the dress that he likes seeing you in. Get him a present that you know will put a smile on his lips and a sparkle in his eyes, all without putting a hole in your pocket. And make sure that the entire affair is full of sweetness, love, fun, and all about him. Aside from that, try to spend more little cozy moments with him to show him your affection.
 
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nohard responded:
Hi here go again, sorry for that but it must be orgasm day,
So I just went back a questions answer and coped this,
but your b/f has got it wrong, is for sure and knowing that they all did orgasm, how many said yes but cheated?


Hi OK the Big O, yes and orgasm, just remember some women go through there whole sex lives never have , from which ever they try. (tell your b/f this, there's lots on the web to back this up)
Tell your b/f there's northing wrong with or the way you have sex, its just one of these things, with sex our life's it can be a bit unfair at times, its spoilt to many relationships, all because some guys and women even have been given or told these things happen when they have sex the women shouts out yes, yes, yes, sorry but only in some films, real life yes there are the odd ones, but far to few.
If you can orgasm from clitoral stimulation, try you on top, this way you can grind into him, you should find this works, your be having a clitoral orgasm while having sex all at the same time, this should please him and you.
Good Luck
So do hope this helps.
 
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jss123 responded:
What works for my wife and I is we both rock back and forth in the missionary position at the same time.
It is the only intercourse position that I've got her to orgasm in.
Is that what you are describing Nohard ?
I'm not sure what the position is called... Anyone ?
 
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jss123 replied to jss123's response:
I found out its called Coital Alignment Technique (CAT)
See:
http://www.cosmopolitan.com/sex-love/positions/the-cosmo-cat-sex-position

Its exactly how we do it.
 
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nohard replied to nohard's response:
Hi I did post this on another question yesterday, and should have put it here as well, so here you are try this.
Hi I had a thought this morning, if you look around the sex mag's or sites you should find a clitoral stimulator, its just a rind with some bumps on it fits around his penis at the base, so with you on top its a snug fit.
Could be worth a try, could be your way to big orgasms.
Good Luck
Have a look on www.dodsonandross.com you could find the answer your looking for, on how to orgasm why being penetrated ,. or you can post your problem to Dr Betty Dodson, she will reply.
 
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dfromspencer replied to jenasci's response:
Tell your fianc? to lick it up, and stop worrying! Yes, I said LICK! I have gotten more women to orgasm by licking and fingering the clitoris more so than any other sexual position I could think of!!!


Have your fianc? start the love making session with licking and sucking first, if you like, try the 69 position? But, it is more difficult to concentrate on your own body, while trying to please someone else at the same time! So, I prefer the one at a time rule! He should start, and after you have an orgasm, then you should roll him over, and give it to him!!!


I hope some of this might be helpful?


Dennis


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Difficulty having an orgasm?Expert
Try reading Becoming Orgasmic: A Sexual and Personal Growth Program for Women by Julia Heiman , Joseph Ph.D. LoPiccolo and David ... More
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