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My boyfriends masturbating is an issue
msv1984 posted:
ive been with my bf for ten months and i knew he was a sexual person like myself but his is a little more intense than i thpught. we have sex just about every day and even pleasure each other while im having "time of the month" but even if we go a day without sex, he masturbates... if we argue, he masturbates, heck i left for almostvtwo hours today and he said he had to fight the urge to watch porn and get himself off. ive noticed its taking him longervto orgasam when we're intimate. he sees no issue and thinks im trying to put restriction on him. any imput?

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fcl responded:
As long as his masturbating isn't interfering with your sex life then I don't see where the problem is.

The fact that he's taking longer to climax may be due to him using a tighter grip with his hand than he'd get from your vagina or perhaps he isn't using enough lube so he's getting more friction from his hand too. All you can do is ask him to use more lube or to not grip his penis too hard and explain your concern.

You don't get to decide how often he's allowed to masturbate. Sorry. OTOH, you do have the choice of leaving if you're not happy with it.
There's nothing inherently dirty about sex, but if you try real hard and use your imagination you can overcome that.
nohard responded:
Hi Well for one thing with all this sex your having it will take him a long time to orgasm, now add into this his masturbating.
But cant think of many women who would say no to having long sessions of love making, but if your finding this boring, try changing positions a few times.
Just to enjoy the moment more, try giving him some good oral sex before having sex, this will help get him there quicker if this is what you want.
But end of the day you have said your a very sexual women, so what more could you want, if things are getting dry just lash on some extra lubrication, either sex oil, baby oil, in the kitchen, olive oil.
Now as for him masturbating, this could be a thrower, some women can live with it, an some cant, so if you see him doing it, go help, I'm sure he would just love that, you can either take him all the way, or just say come on big boy use me.
When its that time of the month, have you thought of anal! ok some women just love it, and others cant even think of it.
Good Luck
dfromspencer responded:

You are saying two different things here. You say you are both sexual beings, but then again, you say he masturbates too much, and therefore, he takes too long to get of with regular sexual intercourse? I thought you said you were a sexual person? A sexual person would enjoy the longer sessions, don't you think? Well, I can only say this, if he is hurting you, then you have to tell him! If he is not hurting you, only taking his time enjoying your love, then have some lube handy, and also try different positions?

You are a part of a duo, one person should not dictate how long your lovemaking should take! This is on both of you to tell your partner your likes, and dislikes in bed! Don't be shy, this guy has seen you naked already, so what's the problem? Sit him down on the couch, and have an open, honest talk about your sexual life together. How you like to be pleased, and how long you can handle, things like that, then he has to tell you, also! It is after all, a partnership you have going, 50/50 and all that, right? Right! Now, go talk to him!!!

I wish you two a long. happy sexual life!!!

georgiagail responded:
Stop trying to put a restriction on him.

You two seem to have a pretty darn good sex life even with all this masturbation. So....what's the problem?

kramer1961 replied to georgiagail's response:
I agree with the others; its hard enough to get laid without playing hard to get with yourself.

stevesmw responded:
Masturbation and love making are separate activities that actually have very little to do with each other.

I have more of an issue wth porn.He should be getting off thinking about making love to you.

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