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    Need suggetion to live happy married life
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    kam6tra posted:
    I am 41 and my wife is 38. We are married since 11 years. From day 1 of our marriage my wife has no interest in sex. She always try to scape, makings excuses, that I am not feeling well, I have pain or she fought just to scape sex.
    And I try to make her happy, but sometimes I lost control and start fighting. Usually I keep my self calm, but this encourage her to dominate me. Now she starts scolding in the super market or any where. She don't like jokes which make her light headed. I don't know what to do?
    This spoils our marriage life, We don't spend good time with each other, no sex, even my 6 years old son is suffering. And due to this all, I am loosing faith from women. I never had relation with any other woman, but due to this I made relation with men. This new year I decided to quit making relation with men, but yesterday night again my wife fought with me, but this time I am strong enough to control myself to do not make relation with any men/women.
    I only want peace in my life, i want to live happy with my family. Please suggest what should I do?
     
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    fcl responded:
    I'd suggest marriage counselling straight away so that you two can learn to communicate efficiently with each other rather than fighting. Having sex with other people is not the solution. You need to listen to each other and find a solution so perhaps a neutral third party (counsellor) would help.

    Is your wife aware of your cheating with men?
    There's nothing inherently dirty about sex, but if you try real hard and use your imagination you can overcome that.
     
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    nohard responded:
    Hi fcl's Idea of counselling dose sound good and solid
    But I don't think from what your saying she will go, perhaps its her view of marriage?
    I worked with a guy many years ago once his wife had two children that was it no more sex she was finished with that, perhaps your wife is in the same mould, one child and finished with sex, did this start after she had your son? did she have a bad birth with him?
    For piece of mind its your call.
    Good Luck
    Your Penis is Affected by Every Aspect of Your Physical, Mental and Emotional Life.
     
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    kam6tra replied to fcl's response:
    No she don't
     
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    kam6tra replied to nohard's response:
    No, from the day one of our marriage she don't like sex. I cannot tell how embarrassing excuses she gave and still continue giving me. She insulted me many times, not only me, my whole family, even though we are living alone.
     
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    nohard replied to kam6tra's response:
    Hi You mean a bad birth? yes
    Your Penis is Affected by Every Aspect of Your Physical, Mental and Emotional Life.
     
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    nohard replied to nohard's response:
    Sorry wrong answer. pity we cant edit.
    Your Penis is Affected by Every Aspect of Your Physical, Mental and Emotional Life.
     
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    albert_liberny replied to kam6tra's response:
    Hi kam6tra, well some women just don't like sex just that's the way it is, but did you had good or even great sex life before marriage? Maybe you cheated on her with other girl and she found out by her own?

    When I talk to my girlfriend and when I say - "I saw how you luck at him is he your another lover?" Or something like "your friend was really hot today" from sentences like this i can see her respond, her emotions to me and i can tell immediately if she still loves me, or if she just doesn't care, well in your case if your wife just doesn't care it means she doesn't love you or she's not a family woman and maybe it would be better to take your son and go your own way, without her. I'm just wanting to say that you shouldn't be hurting yourself, our other side, your family and especially your son, children should be #1 in our lives and try to make as much as possible better life for them. There are plenty of really good family women out there that wants to have man who loves children and just love living live together, sharing happiness, and who will probbably take care even better and will love him more then hes own mother.

    Hope that helps my friends, just my 2 cents.
     
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    Anon_134193 responded:
    I'm going to suggest something rather difficult but it's really the only way. Ask her. Be nonthreatening, loving, let her know how much you care, and ask her why she doesn't like sex. More importantly, ask her if there is something you can do to help her enjoy herself more. If she enjoys herself, she will want to do it more. Let her know that this is an important way for you to show your love for her, that it isn't just about you, that you want to make her feel great too. If she keeps giving you excuses simply say "I am sorry you don't feel comfortable talking about it. But I'm here for you and I want to know how I can help you."

    The really hard part about this is many women, and men too, are uncomfotbable with talking about sex. Some people, in their heart of hearts, don't think they should like sex. She might have a religious bias, for example, or she might have been raised to believe that sex is for making babies, it's not supposed to be fun, and she shouldn't like it. This can be very insidious and difficult to cure. It can be done, with good communication.

    If you love her, talk to her. Be open minded. I wish you the best.
     
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    exprzzionz replied to kam6tra's response:
    It sounds as though there may be other issues concerning families etc.
    Having said that I'm willing to bet there are way more women that don't like sex than there are men. Men and women are wired differently and that's a fact. I personally have known several that were cool as cucumbers.
    Some women just don't like having a penis inside them strange as it may seem since that's what a vagina is for.
    Do you know whether there has ever been traumatic issues in her past? What was her upbringing like?
    Some people teach their children that sex is how we make babies and it's not really something to be enjoyed ! Sounds crazy but this is true my friend. Things such as this once ingrained into a persons psyche are hard to deal with.
    I wish you well with this and I will keep checking in to see how it goes.


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