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Need more sex from BF-men, pls help
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bagombo posted:
I'm a 22 year old female, and I feel like my sex drive is too high for my boyfriend. He initiates sex maybe 2-3 times a week at most. However, I would really like to have sex at least once a day. I try to send him sexy, flirtatious txt messages, whisper things like "lets go play in bed" into his ear, and kiss/caress him all the time, but he normally doesn't respond enthusiastically to most of the messages or advances. When he intiates sex, he always seems to be into it and comes every time, but I usually don't orgasim and he doesn't make any effort to get me off either orally or with his hands either during or after sex. I have a vibrator that he doesn't seem interested in "helping" me use as well. I am beginning to become resentful, frustrated, and insecure about our sexual relationship. I want him to reciprocate my actions, and make me feel more sexually desirable. I would like to be intimate and have more passion in our relationship. I've tried to talk to him about this, but he never opens up, except with different excuses about why he doesn't want to. The kick is that we've only been together for 8 months... Is my boyfriend turned off by me being turned on all the time? What should I do to have my boyfriend meet my sexual needs in our relationship? Is something wrong with me for wanting alot of sex?? Please help!!!
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FCL responded:
There's nothing wrong with you it's just that your libidos are mismatched, added to that is the fact that he won't actually do anything to satisfy you. He's either selfish or has a neat little set of hangups. Look, if you're this frustrated after only 8 months, imagine what it will be like in a year's time. The purpose of dating is to find someone who is compatible with you, he clearly isn't. Chalk it up to experience and go find someone who's on your sexual wavelength.
 
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queston responded:
FCL may be right. But he may also be hung up or think that he's supposed to be able to satisfy a women with intercourse alone. Try talking to him very openly outside the bedroom about what you'd like him to do for you. Try not to voice it as complaining or criticizing. Most men want very badly to satisfy their partner and bring her to orgasm, so I'd be a little surprised if it turns out he's just indifferent to that. If he is, find a new BF! As far as when you initiate...most men would love to have a wife/GF who initiates sex frequently, but for some people it's kindof a control issue. My wife is like that: I have learned through the years that we're more likely to have sex if I wait for her to initiate than if I initiate (she adamantly denies this). Maybe your BF is like that. Or maybe he just sucks.
 
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LoveMyIssues responded:
I think in 8 mos. you've determined that the two of you are sexually incompatible. Throw this one back and go fishing again.
 
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Duckblind responded:
One of you is going to have to adjust. You have many options being you are so young and not married. You think your sex drive is high NOW, When you're in your thirties it'll be higher - as his goes lower. Nothing wrong with you. Might want a different bf. Sorry.
 
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reg8686 responded:
Well, if you are willing to work at it some I would not suggest throwing away this relationship as quick as others on here have suggested. My wife and I have libidos that don't match exactly either - and to be honest I find it hard to believe there is an EXACT match in any couple's sex drives. This is not the most romantic suggestion, but my wife and I have found that scheduling our sex lives (at least to an extent) is helpful. That way we are guaranteed to have sex a certain number of times a week, and even if I am not necessarily in the mood to have sex at that scheduled time it is still very pleasurable and has resulted in a satisfying sex life for both of us which has had a positive impact on other aspects of our relationships as well.
 
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loveorleave responded:
Here's the real deal. Sex is probably the most important issue in a relationship other then money issues. Believe me when I tell you, it's got to be right. Sex must be complete for both parties, or it isn't going to work out. Most Guy's usually blow it, and they're done. Me, I always tried to please my partner first, then myself. If it doesn't work now, it will only go down hill afterwards.


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