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    meg660 posted:
    I dont seem to be able to orgasm without using a vibrator. That works clitorally but I cannot masterbate to orgasm any other way and neither can my partner do it for me although sex is good.
    mhtyler2 responded:
    you need women's advice here, but I will say as a man, that masturbation without lubricants can make intercourse more difficult for a man, especially as he gets older. You haven't provided much information, but as a starting point you may want to ditch the vibrator and masturbate without.
    Cat78fish responded:
    Hi Meg, Mhtyler is probably right about this. I agree that you have probably become too dependent on the vibrator. See if you can bring yourself to orgasm just by using your fingers and thinking erotic thoughts. You might not orgasm the very first time you try it and it can take a lot of patience but don't go back to the vibrator for awhile. Once you are able to orgasm with your fingers, you should have an easier time orgasming with your partner and all of a sudden, I think you will find that the sex can go from being "good" to being "great". One hint: While you are exploring with your fingers, you may want to see if you can locate your g-spot. I found mine quite by accident one day while I was "exploring" during masturbation one day about 20 years ago and the more I rubbed my finger across it, the more sensitive it became and eventually I had my first g-spot orgasm that way. Later on, I was able to show my boyfriend at the time where it was and how to stimulate it. That's one of the great things about masturbation. How is he to know what you will like if you haven't explored enough to know what you will like? Donna
    LMIthe2nd responded:
    Good posts already. The other alternative is to include a vibrator in your partnered lovemaking. So long as your partner isn't threatened by the inclusion, it should work fine for both of you. It's tough to wedge it in the right spot in missionary position, but doggy style or cowgirl should work fine.
    Cat78fish responded:
    Believe it or not LMI, the reason we haven't incorporated the vibrator into partnered sex is because I haven't figured out how to do it. What I want to do is use my vibrator on him--not me but I don't know if he will go for it or where exactly to put it to give him the most enjoyment. Any suggestions? Donna
    Brittany_D responded:
    I was going through this EXACT thing. I finally just introduce it during sex and my bf is okay with it thankfully. I put it in place on my clit and then grind on him while he is inside. He said the grinding/slight vibration is nice for him so it kind of works out. At first I couldnt get to my climax this way i think because i was still being shy but just recently i was able to do it. He loved it. So, if he really wants you to be getting off too, he'll work with you. :)
    LMIthe2nd responded:
    Hmmm... I hadn't expected to take this little digression, but I'm willing. I've never used a vibe during coitus, but if I i were to do so... In (your favorite) reverse cowgirl position, your clitoris and the base of his penis near his testicles should be pretty close. That's where I i think I'd most appreciate vibration. No charge for pure speculation, Donna. :sillygrin:
    crazyfoot40 responded:
    Donna, if I could ever find another of those old vibrators that you strap on the back of your hand and it makes your hand vibrate, I would love it. Wow, that thing was fun. My old masseuse used to have one so I bought one. I don't know if they still make them or not. The penis shaped vibrators must have put them out of business. Tom

    Helpful Tips

    Difficulty having an orgasm?Expert
    Try reading Becoming Orgasmic: A Sexual and Personal Growth Program for Women by Julia Heiman , Joseph Ph.D. LoPiccolo and David ... More
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