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Older women...younger men?
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Olivia_WebMD_Staff posted:
While the number of older woman-younger man pairings appears to be increasing to some degree, society has far from embraced the idea. Moreover, the bulk of our "scorn" still seems directed squarely at the reputation of the older woman.

WebMD has a new feature on the topic – Dating Older women: Does Age Matter?

What are your thoughts? If you're against it, what's your reasoning? How young is "too" young? And, if you're in a relationship where one of you is much older/younger what are the joys and pitfalls?
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1andonlybaby responded:
I was just coming here to post this same question. How funny is that? I was always against it personally until lately. My brother in law is 10 yrs younger than my sister. I don't think my sister has had any problems with the age thing. Honestly, I forget that she's older than him, because when they're together you really wouldn't know it by looking at them. My ex is 14 years older than me, but I guess that's ok because he's a man. I've been thinking about it lately and I would go out with someone younger than me but not sure if I'd want a serious relationship with that person. I guess it's like anyone else though, it depends on how the 2 people relate and get along.
 
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eddiessexgoddess responded:
that your thoughts on it being OK "because he's the man" is purely social conditioning, right?
 
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1andonlybaby responded:
and email sometimes, because the tone gets lost. When I said I guess it's ok because he's a man, I was being sarcastic. I think it's ok either way, if that's what a person chooses. As long as each person is ok with the relationship, it's good.
 
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bambi36 responded:
I'm quite a bit younger than my husband, and we have a wonderful relationship -- I am really very blessed.

One of my friends said to me, just before my husband & I were married, "Better to be an old man's sweetheart than a young man's slave"....!!!!

I had never heard that expression before, but in our case it has certainly proven to be true!

...

I would not know about being the older partner in a relationship if my husband were to be quite a bit younger.... somehow I don't think that would work out as well... the thinking is probably more along the lines of the "old stereotypes"... that men don't desire older women as much.... (and I don't know how true that is, nor how common are any exceptions to that stereotype, but as it doesn't even apply to me, I shan't worry about it! LOL!)

I shall stay blissful & content in my present situation.

- Bambi
 
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preggers1971 responded:
I am a 36 year old woman and my BF is 24 years old.We have an adorable 1-year old together and get along great! We have been together for 2 years and only had 1 arguement so far. I have always dated older men for the security, but my BF makes me feel secure,too. As long as you are age of consent, it doesn't matter what anyone thinks..
 
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tessa101_2000 responded:
I am 32 and my BF is 18. We have been together 2 years. We are expecting our first child in December. The first child for each of us. We come from totally different backgrounds. I came from a lower middle class family and have a college degree and a professional management position in the healthcare industry. He is in school getting his GED preparing to go to college for his EMT degree. Although we are very different, my grandparents raised me and still help when I need it, his mother lost custody of him and his siblings when he was nine, we are very happy together. My family hates him, his family loves me. We have endured all types of criticism, from people threatening to call the police to others who are confused but supportive. It works for us but not for everybody.
 
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DitaV responded:
I dont think there's any justification for a 30 year old to be dating a 16 year old. There are reasons why we have laws against such relationships. I wouldnt be suprised if in the next couple years he decides that he doesnt want to be in the relationship anymore. He never got a chance to enjoy being young, to date, to have fun with friends and be free of the responsibilities of having a serious relationship and now a child. I was 15 years old when i got pregnant with my daughter. Her father was 19 at the time. We managed to make it for almost 7 years, but we grew up and apart pretty quickly, and we were fairly close in age. So while you may have a good idea of who you are and what you want out of life, i doubt he does.

Dita
 
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tessa101_2000 responded:
LIke I stated it is not for everybody. He has been in and out of lock up facilities for 8 years. He is not your typical 18 year old. I have been a licensed social worker for 10 years in geriatrics. When I am 35 and he is 21 no one will think twice. And if things do not last forever I am prepared for that. Most things don't.
 
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DitaV responded:
I wouldnt say that no one will twice when you are 35 and he's 21. And he may not seem like a typical 18 year old, but he still has a lot of growing up to do. But to each their own.

Dita
 
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eddiessexgoddess responded:
He's been in and out of "lock up facilities" since he was 10 years old???!

Yup, I'd have to say he's not your typical 18 year old... {{thank god}}
 
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honeyknabe responded:
I am 29 years old dating a 19 year old and I am going through a divorce. We get along great and you would never know he is 19. I struggle constanly with how he feels about the relationship though, I am more insecure than I used to be. I try to just enjoy the relationship and have a good time but I think there will come a day when I will want more and he won't be ready for it.
 
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bambi36 responded:
So you probably cannot call call Tessa's experience typical for an "older woman - younger man" scenario.

She began having a relationship with him when he was 16 years old, and she was 30. He sounds like he was a very troubled youth needing much adult guidance and support.... but her guidance and support included an intimate relationship.

Tessa, I can't see the situation very well without feeling some prejudice against it -- prejudice which you're already very familiar with. But I am honest (to a fault) and must confess feeling much trepidation at your personal situation.

However, it just might all work out in the end after all... one never knows, but one always hopes so. That shall be my wish for you.

- Bambi
 
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chocolatecity1980 responded:
I think its fine if an older woman dates a younger man. It really doesn't matter how old we are as long as we repect each other. I personally couldn't date a man that's younger than me. In my experiences guys that are younger aren't ususally mature enough for me. But as long as they are happy then whats the big deal


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