Skip to content


    Exciting News for WebMD Members!

    We've been busy behind the scenes building new message boards for you. You'll have new and easier ways to find messages, connect with others, and share your stories.

    And, this will all be available on your smartphone or other mobile device!

    What Do You Need to Do?

    The message board you're used to will be closing in the coming weeks. While many of your boards will be making the move to our new home, your posts will not. Want to keep a discussion going? Save posts you want to continue (this includes your member profile story), so that you can re-post them in the new message boards.

    Keep an eye here and on your email inbox, we'll be back in touch soon to give you all the information you need!

    Yours in health,
    WebMD Message Boards Management

    increased libido at 40
    luv2live40 posted:
    My sex drive has increased as I have gotten older specifically in my 40's. My husband enjoys this phenomenon but has also begun to question me in these changes. He at times has complained that he cannot keep up with my desire for intimate relations and wants to know why I have changed so much. I can only tell him that I find him even more attractive than ever.

    I feel my desire is an age related increase in my libido along with the fact that I feel less inhibited and more confident in myself. More so than I did when I was younger. Therefore I desire to engage in sexual activity and I enjoy sex now more than I ever have in my life. Is this common for women in their 40?s? Are their chemical and physiological changes that influence my behavior. I am looking for information because sometimes his questions and comments make me feel somewhat insecure and ashamed of my new found sexuality.
    cb72268 responded:
    I think this guy is nuts..He should enjoy what he has and not ask questions..Everybody should be so lucky.
    hotmama1946 responded:
    I had the same experience some years ago. I married for the second time to a man who loves having sex as much ,or more than I did at the time. I was somewhat torn with this and begin to question myself regarding the feelings I was having about sex. I had just turned 61 yrs of age at the time. I still felt like I did at 50 when we married. I read as much about the subject as I could find on it, and with my medical history added to it (congestive heart failure and asthma); didn't seem too positive. I made the decision in my head and heart, that at my age with all I have medically not so good, I could either decide to be HAPPY and ENJOY what life I had left to share with my husband, or I could not! Really wasn't too much of a struggle!! ha ha I know that the mental decision was the turning point. I have been happier, healthier and more loved than ever in these last several years and it has been and will continue to be only if I choose to be happy and enjoy it! I feel as you said ,it is age related. The TRUTH of my situation hit me head-on and I had to consciously make a decision so that my HEAD and my HEART could and would work with my BODY! We have sex several times a day and night and we always want more. I feel sometimes like I can NOT get enough. It was made our marriage, our closeness with all of our children (he had 5 and I had 2). All grown and on their own. We have 10 grandchildren and 8 Great -Grandchildren. We could not be happier. We are both still working in a good job where we meet all kinds of people and enjoy being alive and living! I wish you and yours the same.
    Camille1967 responded:

    it is absolutely normal for many women to experience an increase in libido in their 40s. I did too.

    It is certainly due to a hormonal change in our body, but I believe the other reasons you describe are also a factor. Feeling more confident, less inhibited, more knowledgeable about our body, our desires and our reactions, all contribute to a better enjoyment of sexual activity. The more we enjoy it, the more we want it.

    It is certainly a welcomed change, my husband enjoyed it as well. Unfortunately, at the same time we reach our so called "sexual prime", men begin to experience a decline in their desire and/or stamina. It is one of nature's joke, in my opinion.

    Please don't let your husbands "questioning" make you feel insecure and ashamed, this is something you should be proud of. He's probably feeling insecure himself, feeling he cannot keep up with what he has probably been asking for many years.

    Rather than express your newly increased libido by "demanding" more from him, try and direct it in ways to increase his enjoyment of sex as well. Maybe by being more creative or romantic in ways to get him in the mood. If it happened in the past that his desire was stronger than yours, try remembering how he would romance you to get you in the mood, or be patient when you just were not up to it, and use him now the same kindness and understanding.

    Good luck,

    jethro46 responded:
    . when you are confident in your self and happy it brings about a chemical change in your life. Plus when you are having more sex and more intimacy that makes you feel even better about your self. DO not allow the questions to alter your desires. As a man I can say your husband while being glad that you want more sex at the same time is feeling a bit intimated and threatned because he can not keep up with you. My wife became much more interested in sex a few years ago. I was very glad.she can not get enough. I could allow it to threaten me.However i have made a choice that I will not allow that to happen.I can no longer keep up with her. WE have decided WE will bring another man into our relationship to help out. WE BOTH will enjoy her increased desires and and I as her husband will help her receive the pleasure she wants and desires. Since Her increase in desire. we both have been much happier. more healthy. IN the past two years since we are making love more we have made less trips to the doctor as sex takes away the stress and we sleep much better. Assure your husband that you do not want him to feel inadequate because he can not keep up. it does not make him any less of a man.
    LoveMyIssues responded:
    You asked, "Is this common for women in their 40?s?" Let's just say, I knew your gender before I opened the thread! Like Camille posted, it's not uncommon for women to come into their sexual prime just about the time the guys are starting that slow, depressing decline... It is indeed one of nature's cruel practical jokes!
    isabel09 responded:
    I am going through the same thing right now. It's hormonal changes as far as I can tell, peri menopause. I have no idea what's going on except I want it constantly. Any excuse that I had before for not wanting to- gone. I don't care when or where, I'm ready to go! Turns out I'm a lot kinkier than I realized! Husband is very happy but he too is complaining he can't keep up with me. Having a lot of fun though!

    Have you recently gone off the pill? My libido was in the toilet while I was on it. They don't really tell you this.

    BTW, I'm 41.

    Don't feel ashamed. Enjoy it!
    byebye40 responded:
    Oh my gosh! you are absolutely right! i did not know what was going on. i noticed that when i stopped taking the pill about 3 years ago my sexual desires increased, but when i turned forty, my desires are off the charts. i have had kinkier thoughts. i'm not sure how my husband feels about that yet because i have not told him about the the thoughts that i am having (i.e. other women). want to have sex everyday. he is taking pills to keep up. He doesn't like to admit that there has been a decline in his sex drive. I would love to hear from anyone on advice or suggestions. I already have a vibrator.
    MsFroggygirl1125 responded:
    I completely understand. I am 40 and mu husband is 30. He also has made comments about how sexual I am and it makes me uncomfortable and sometimes I find myself stifling my sexual needs because of it. I don't understand why men are so afraid of a woman with a strong sexual desire. My doctor assures me that this is very common in woman my age because of changes in hormones.
    firefighter38111 responded:
    My wife's sexual desires have greatly increased also and with her she is producing a little more testosterone. The reason we know that is because when she takes her female hormones she squirts less and doesn't have as many orgasms. She needs them but she takes them after sex now. I am over forty hence I produce less testosterone. I take supplements.
    i love wifes sexual increase and i am not ashamed to say on those majic moments if needed i got Cialis. the good thing when she is so aroused it makes me feel like a better husband
    christinametzger69 responded:
    Speaking as a 44 y/o i can relate to everything said however i never took birth control but i did go through many surgeries in my 30's and as a result i was on lots of pain meds and anti depressants for probably just being female. I have been so thrilled to enjoy sex and crave it the way i do now. I quit taking all the medications, pain and anti depressant, i dont recomend anyone quitting any medications without your doctors advice. I really noticed the change when I no longer took anti deppresants!! My body in every area you can imagine is so sensitive now. I have organisms from just penetration alone. In my twenties was when I had my first orgasms with a lot of work at relaxing and learning my body. Now i feel like the horny Nympho in the relationship, I want more cause i finally found ecstacy!!!

    Helpful Tips

    Can a female get something from a man with Epididymitis? More
    Was this Helpful?
    0 of 0 found this helpful

    Related Drug Reviews

    • Drug Name User Reviews

    Report Problems With Your Medications to the FDA

    FDAYou are encouraged to report negative side effects of prescription drugs to the FDA. Visit the FDA MedWatch website or call 1-800-FDA-1088.

    For more information, visit Dr. Becker-Phelps' website