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How to have rough sex?
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stoopNYC posted:
Last night after sex I asked my wife what she thought about our sex life. My wife is not big into talking about sex (she is a lot better than she used to be) and I want to make sure I am pleasing her. The purpose of the discussion was to get a feel for what turns her on. Of course this will vary. My wife said she would like sex to be more rough. But when I asked what she is wanting to make it more rough she wouldn't go into detail as to what turns her on. So here is my problem. Since this is the only woman I have had sex with my sexual experience is limited. I try and mix up our love life to keep it interesting: slow and steady, candels in the bed room, different speed and depth of penetration, grabbing her sides, slight pulling of hair and even clawing at her back. Of course I do not do all of these every time. But to me I thought this was rough sex, but I guess I was wrong. So what makes sex "rough?" What else can I do to please my partner and fullfil this desire?
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Cat78fish responded:
Unfortunately "rough" is just another one of those words that are highly subjective. What's rough to one person may not be rough to the next. What you described sounds rough enough to me but it obviously isn't to your wife. Maybe she just wants more of an "I want you right now" attitude from you whereby you put her over your shoulder and plop her down wherever you are going to have sex and proceed to getting her clothes off as fast as possible. I hope she doesn't mean rough like being raped where there is no foreplay. I think that would really hurt. I'm afraid all you can do is ask her to give you more details into what she likes. Donna
 
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Jumper197074857 responded:
I'm interested in hearing some of the ladies' thoughts as well. My wife is not big on talking about our sex life unless I bring it up. I do know she's mentioned to me several times that she would like me to "take her" whenever, where ever I'd like, which I have several times, leading me to think maybe my wife wants it a little rougher? I've even mentioned tying her up and just having my way with her (orally, vaginally and anally) which seems to intrigue her...I think. But I'm in the same boat as you stoop. I've done some of the same things as you have, even a little spanking at times, but it seems like she may be wanting a bit more.
 
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__sarah__ responded:
I can relate where your wives are coming from... I've felt, almost embarrassed to try and explain how rough I want sex to be. But once the words do come out, and she gets what she wants, I'm assuming she will be more apt to talking about it, at least that's how I am. I would suggest using a tie or something soft like that at first.. try blindfolding if you haven't already. Then move to tying her hands together, first in front of her, and then move on with her hands behind her back. Hopefully she'll begin to open up a little more and you can move on to ropes or other things. I actually have tried the whole rape sex fantasy. and i love it. :smile: but it takes a while to work up to that, especially if you are just warming up to the whole rougher sex idea. good luck, and have fun!
 
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4oSomething responded:
"what makes sex rough" is subjective, and the answer depends on who you ask. really that is a question you should ask your wife, because what one thinks of as rough someone else may think of as too mild, or even overboard. what you describe (in my opinion) is not rough, but mild. Maybe she wants you to throw her down on the bed, rip her clothes off, hold her down, bite her neck and thrust harder than you have been. As for bondage and blindfolds, neither are particularly "rough"
 
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4oSomething responded:
oh and by the way, I know a lot of people would take "rip her clothes off" as a figure of speech, but in my case I have a drawer specifically of old lingerie and my husband knows when he sees me get anything out of that drawer to wear that it is for the sole purpose of him tearing it off me to shreds.
 
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maleinindiana responded:
Don't over think this. I believe your wife justs wants more thrusting, more noises and action. The process is like a boiling pot,..let things build up and then let loose. Try it and ask for feedback later.
 
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KevinATL responded:
Funny, I had this same frank talk with mu wife about a year ago to see how she felt about our sex life and what she specifically wanted. Turns out, she said she likes it 'rough' as well, meaning, for her anyway, being overall more dominant, aggressive and specifically flipping her on her stomach and pounding her hard doggie style. We also do a lot more standing sex where she bends over and I pump her from behind. I'm rather large and long, so I have to be careful not to pound too deep, so be careful if you're larger sized. It doesn't mean every time you have sex it has to be rough, bit for some women it seems they really like a masculine "take charge", aggresive approach more often then not. One last note as an FYI, my wife has never orgasmed during the rough part of sex, but it really gets her going. I get her off by flipping her on top of me and letting her 'finish' by cowgirl posision. Maybe it's the desire to be conquered and then conquer in the end that does it for her. Whatever reason, it sure is freakin' fun.
 
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bbromley88 responded:
i agree thats what i first thought of when i read your post.. try it and than ask her for more feedback :)
 
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luvmy2babiesmuch responded:
I can NOT stand a passive sort of man in the bedroom,, it's just not my taste, and i just don't like it. I don't prefer soft kisses, or really soft caresses. My Dh will just grab me like a cave women, and pull me to the side of the bed, where he stands and does oral, for ever and ever.. he loves standing, says it's more comfortable.. I think that if a man is a pretty passive, man, then he may also be in the bedroom, and I just don't like that.. i like the feeling of my "masculine" DH, and i like being like the innocent young maiden, submissive like.. yep, kissing hard, neck bites, hair pulling, a little harder thrusts, and dirty talk.... those are "rough" to me.. ask her,, she can explain, but she may not either,, since she's not into talking much about sex,, just try a few things, and see.. good luck!!
 
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LoveMyIssues responded:
This has been an interesting thread to read. I get the impression that many women like their male partners to "take charge" and be a little "forceful" about sex -- without being abusive, of course. I remember years ago having sex with a date that I thought was pretty rough, and I said afterwards, "Sometimes I like to [have sex> like a bear." She, looking confused, asked, "How to bears [have sex>?" I replied, "Rough?" She: "Oh." Apparently she totally didn't get that I was trying to be "rough." Besides being a little deflating, that was my first exposure that I can be a little too gentle for some partner's preference! Anyway, to the OP, maybe try taking her arms by the wrists and holding them above her head like you're pinning her down and then thrust forcefully (unless she tells you to stop or that you're hurting her) and see if that has good effect.
 
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gtt_crystal responded:
dose your wife like books or likes to write? have her pick out scenes from a book, or a movie. or write one of her fantasy. give her some suggestions that you would like so it makes a open field and she wont feel as unsafe to vocalize what she wants. when it comes to sex with your spouse nothing is wrong, as long as both sides agree to whatever it happens to be.some women like men to spin them around and press them up against a wall with a deep kiss and some petting, and then just walk away(this would be teasing)and just do stuff like that all day then she cant stand it no more pick her up on the counter top and have your way. other women like bitting,whips, choking,back door play, adult toys. go to a adult store or one online,the both of you and pick out a soft movie or a book on different ways. or brake out the Polaroid camera, thats always fun. she will get relaxed enough to tell you what she wants. just let her know that you wont think she is weird, crazy or stupid in anyway, and that you love her body and the the way she moves it and anything new would just make you more crazy for her.
 
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ltlprtty1 responded:
When she says rough, she may just mean she wants you to take more control I would love it if my guy just pushed me hard against the wall stripped my clothes and then gave it to me hard lol or you could try coming up behind her and in a rough tone whisper i need you now and throw her onto the bed ;) I am also VERY limited in sex lol been with one guy ever, my husband I'm just turning nineteen but you should try different levels hair pulling really isn't enough. Me and my friends say rough we mean dominance. MAKE US YOURS!!!! :D hope that helped.
 
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ltlprtty1 replied to Jumper197074857's response:
Tie her up lol and when she says let me go, (Unless she obviously has a REALLY BAD issue with being held down,) don't do it lol being helpless is just hot knowing all you can do is just take it ggl
 
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GuardSquealer replied to ltlprtty1's response:
Well since you dug up a 2 year old post I doubt if the original poster reads your replies.


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