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wife not interested in sex at all
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Lawdog74 posted:
My wife went from wild in the bed to no interest what so ever ,we haven't had sex in over a year,she isn't cheating on me ,we are both retired,she is 50 and has lost all interest in sex. We have talked and she says it just isn't important to her anymore.I am 56 and still want it 4 or 5 times a week,and masturbation gets old fast. Do all women lose their interest in their 40's and 50's? Maybe I just need a friend I can visit,I know it's wrong but I am at my wits end.
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4oSomething responded:
No, of course all women don't lose their sex drive in their 40s or 50s. Just as you can attest to the fact that not all 56 year old men lose interest in sex. Has she been to the doctor lately? at her age it is likely menopause robbing her of her sex drive.
 
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crazyfoot40 responded:
Lawdog...Everybody doesn't lose interest in sex, but some people do. I think your problem is quite common. Good luck! Tom
 
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tgtbtru responded:
I have the same problem with my husband. It's finding the Guy friend or Girl Friend who is interested in doing this. Signed frustrated.
 
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zulululu responded:
My husband is 65 and he's wearing me out. I enjoy sex, but nearly every day is a bit too much. I'd like to suggest every-other day, but he's so proud of himself. We've been married less than a year. I'm the same age as he is.
 
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mhtyler2 responded:
Mismatched libido is the most common issue on this board, and in _general_ men want sex more. However, when libido suddenly falls off a cliff, there is likely a health and/or relationship issue behind it. This is not likely to be a decision your wife has made in a vacuum, something has happened. A visit to the doctor may be in order, and there may be some relationship issues to discuss too.

mark
 
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luvmy2babiesmuch responded:
a agree, she needs to go to DR. I think hormones are likely the theif here, and robbed her of that feeling and urge. I would sugest that she go, so that she can be the person that she has always been. Hormones can make you crazy, and really do some crazy things to your body. Please do not rush out to find a willing partner, work with the one that you have, for better or worse, and see if you and she can't rekindle the sexual relationship that you once had!
 
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Hoosier1960 responded:
We have the same issue. Married for 4 yrs, I'm 49, wife 55, with a very active sex life until about a year and half ago it started to slow down. That was OK, we still enjoyed each other. A year ago I was diagnosed with cancer, went through chemo, surgery and more chemo. Now I'm over all of that for the most part and ready to start our sex life again but the wife has NO interest in sex. Some of it I know is with the cancer as well as menopause. She has gone to the Dr for her yearly checkup and all is well. She has stated she will not take any drug that would allow her to have sex. We are both very busy through the week. So when the weekend rolls around I'm ready to play and she says forget it. We have talked and talked about this and is going nowhere. Apparently menopause is very cruel.
 
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Polyswinger responded:
I didn't see one response that said she may have a hormonal imbalance due to menopause.

If she is on HRT there may be too much of one or another hormone.. She should see an endocrinologist not her gynocologist who probably prescribed the HRT to start with... If she is not on HRT similarly, maybe the answer is HRT...

My wife went through a period when she wanted nothing to do with sex and it turned out that she was on HRT and too much of one hormone was the problem.

Just a thought..
 
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purpleintrepid responded:
Could be low testosterone, too, but she has to want a solution for herself for any of this stuff to work (dr. visit.)

See if she can come up with any ideas for you. What would she be ok with? Just don't start by going out on your own and giving up on her being part of the solution.
 
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Cat78fish responded:
My husband is only 54 and I only wish he wanted sex at least every day. I'm lucky to get it once a week ever since he started having problems with not being able to orgasm/ejaculate. I feel rejected

Donna
 
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sexlessinseattle responded:
I left my husband because he didn't have sex with me for over 7 years, intimacy is a big part of a relationship.
 
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Texasred45 responded:
It's certainly reassuring to know I'm not the only one with this problem! My wife has lost all interest in sex, until recently when we had a talk about it, and about how I felt about it. She's still not "interested," I'm certain, but she pretends to be, out of an evident fear that I'll look for companionship elsewhere.

When she's pretending like this, right about once a week, the sex that results makes me feel like I've just been with a prostitute: she knows what will bring me to orgasm quickly, she does that exclusively - no kissing, no foreplay - and she rolls over and immediately goes to sleep when I'm finished.

I feel like I should leave a twenty on her nightstand...
 
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queston responded:
I understand exactly, Texasred45.

I'm not sure what frustrates me more: when my wife won't have sex with me, or when she will.
 
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purpleintrepid responded:
I think loss of interest in sex is very different from loss of interest in a physical and emotional connection. That's a much bigger problem- if she doesn't want to express her emotional connection to you physically.

Maybe skip the sex for awhile and go back to dating/wooing? Cuddling/snuggling?


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