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Never touch by herself
jts1430 posted:
Any suggestions on how to get a women to touch herself some. My wife has never touch herself in a pleasure way and I think it really hurts our sexually relationship. Sex is not on her mind but once a week or every other week or every more. I'll take care of myself but would rather be with her.
MerryContrary responded:
I was like her for many years. I had to give myself permission to look then touch myself. Once I did, it became pleasurable. First I told myself it was for health reasons. A woman needs to know what is normal for her body so it is a good thing to do every so often. When I noticed the pleasure I got, it was much easier.
LoveMyIssues responded:
I've been with partners who never masturbated. One said, "Why bother?" She was an enthusiastic sex partner, though. I figured as long as the had ONLY me for sexual satisfaction, it was good "job security." :goofy: I don't think you can conclude that " it really hurts our sexually [sic> relationship." The balance of your post suggest she has a lower libido that you do. That's fairly common for couples to have mismatched libidos. It's unfortunate, and a real drag for the person with the higher libido, but it can't be attributed to a lack of masturbation. More than likely it's the other way around: She doesn't masturbate because she has a low libido. I have no suggestions on how you can get her to masturbate. As for raising her libido, work on your relationship in general. Giving her reason to love you more might help make her more inclined to express her affection physically.
Mallardman responded:
I agree - But if she has a low libido and she does start masturbating and likes it you may get way less or even none. :frown:
Cat78fish responded:
From what I've seen on these boards Mallardman, there is no truth to your statement. Many many women masturbate with the hope of increasing their libido. I masturbate a lot and if anything, the more I masturbate, the more I crave sex with my husband. Don't get me wrong. I love masturbating but I would much rather have sex with my husband instead. That said, I think there are far more men that prefer masturbation over partnered sex than there are women. For me, it's not just about the orgasm but it's about the intimacy and with masturbation, the intimacy is definitely lacking. Donna
Mallardman responded:
Donna, I hope for his sake you are right - but what I meant was knowing MY luck it would work just the opposite .
idfriendly responded:
I wish I knew the answer to this. My wife doesn't masturbate, or at least claims not to, and I tend to believe her. It makes me feel good that she only wants me, but at the same time, I would like to watch her now and then! On a related note, I have a male best friend who claims only to have masturbated one time--and he didn't enjoy it. I think he's either a liar or just a very sad man, if he can't enjoy masturbation. But it's funny that we tend to readily believe there is such a thing as a woman who doesn't masturbate--but we tend to assume there is no such thing as a man who doesn't masturbate.
crazyfoot40 responded:
idfriendly...In addition to the pleasure of masturbation, I belive it is kind of like working out. They say "use it or lose it". I think that over the years it has benefited me sexually to masturbate regularly. I tend to feel hornier when I masturbate regularly than if I go through several days where I don't. It is also supposed to benefit the prostate in terms of cancer prevention to empty it regularly. Tom
shudnobettr responded:
You know what they say ; 80% of men masterbate 20% lie :sillygrin:
JRW1874 replied to shudnobettr's response:
My girl friend also says she doesnt masterbate, I wish she did I would also love to watch her and mabey masterbate in front of her at the same time. She also said that she never thinks of sex I hate that I wish she did cause I do all the time.

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