Ashley Madison
munkey16 posted:
Hi
Ok, about a year ago when I was five or six months pregnant I got home from work and turned on my laptop. Well I found that my husband hadn't logged off properly and the website of Ashley Madison was up, showing that he had logged off. I didn't know at the time what it was so i Googled it and lo and behold, it is a dating site for extramarital affairs. Well, I was pretty torn up about it, considering we were going to get married in two weeks. I set up an account and looked up his profile. I felt so bad, there was no picture but looking at the profile I knew it was him. I thought we were doing good. We were having and still are good hot sex. I was beating myself thinking why he do something like that. To my knowledge he never did anything and so far hasn't cheated. I confronted him about it when I got home from work and he denied it to the end. We live in a really small town and I asked who the hell else would match his profile? Only him. He denied, denied, denied. He cried because he saw how upset and hurt I was, especially being pregnant but still denied it. Well we got married. Fast forward one year. I admit this is bad of me but since then I have been monitoring the history of the sites he visits on our laptop daily. I feel the need to check, just to be sure. It sucks to feel this way but I still do it. To date he has not been on that site, until three days ago. When I saw the site, my heart just fell. I felt angry and hurt. I know that its not because he is not sexually satisfied with me. I think he is immature and insecure and feels the need for attention. I am led to believe that he is doing this just because he is greedy and seeing if he can actually get away with it. I want to confront him so bad but then I know he will deny it all over again. I created another profile and apparently he has pictures in his profile, but they are private, so you need to email him to gain access to the pics. I am unsure if I should contact him to verify that it is him. I question myself...What am I going to do if it is him? I honestly dont know. I don't even know if this particular profile I checked out is him, yet. And he is planning on buying us a house next month and eventually another baby, so why I ask is he doing this? Is it just out of curiosity? Something new? He tells me that our sexy time together is awesome and like I said, I don't think he s doing this because he needs more sex. So I plan on "contacting" him tonight and see if it is him.......
Ok, about a year ago when I was five or six months pregnant I got home from work and turned on my laptop. Well I found that my husband hadn't logged off properly and the website of Ashley Madison was up, showing that he had logged off. I didn't know at the time what it was so i Googled it and lo and behold, it is a dating site for extramarital affairs. Well, I was pretty torn up about it, considering we were going to get married in two weeks. I set up an account and looked up his profile. I felt so bad, there was no picture but looking at the profile I knew it was him. I thought we were doing good. We were having and still are good hot sex. I was beating myself thinking why he do something like that. To my knowledge he never did anything and so far hasn't cheated. I confronted him about it when I got home from work and he denied it to the end. We live in a really small town and I asked who the hell else would match his profile? Only him. He denied, denied, denied. He cried because he saw how upset and hurt I was, especially being pregnant but still denied it. Well we got married. Fast forward one year. I admit this is bad of me but since then I have been monitoring the history of the sites he visits on our laptop daily. I feel the need to check, just to be sure. It sucks to feel this way but I still do it. To date he has not been on that site, until three days ago. When I saw the site, my heart just fell. I felt angry and hurt. I know that its not because he is not sexually satisfied with me. I think he is immature and insecure and feels the need for attention. I am led to believe that he is doing this just because he is greedy and seeing if he can actually get away with it. I want to confront him so bad but then I know he will deny it all over again. I created another profile and apparently he has pictures in his profile, but they are private, so you need to email him to gain access to the pics. I am unsure if I should contact him to verify that it is him. I question myself...What am I going to do if it is him? I honestly dont know. I don't even know if this particular profile I checked out is him, yet. And he is planning on buying us a house next month and eventually another baby, so why I ask is he doing this? Is it just out of curiosity? Something new? He tells me that our sexy time together is awesome and like I said, I don't think he s doing this because he needs more sex. So I plan on "contacting" him tonight and see if it is him.......
8 Replies |Watch This Discussion | Report This| Share this:Ashley MadisonHi <br><br>Ok, about a year ago when I was five or six months pregnant I got home from work and turned on my laptop. Well I found that my husband hadn't logged off properly and the website of Ashley Madison was up, showing that he had logged off. I didn't know at the time what it was so i Googled it and lo and behold, it is a dating site for extramarital affairs. Well, I was pretty torn up about it, considering we were going to get married in two weeks. I set up an account and looked up his profile. I felt so bad, there was no picture but looking at the profile I knew it was him. I thought we were doing good. We were having and still are good hot sex. I was beating myself thinking why he do something like that. To my knowledge he never did anything and so far hasn't cheated. I confronted him about it when I got home from work and he denied it to the end. We live in a really small town and I asked who the hell else would match his profile? Only him. He denied, denied, denied. He cried because he saw how upset and hurt I was, especially being pregnant but still denied it. Well we got married.
Fast forward one year. I admit this is bad of me but since then I have been monitoring the history of the sites he visits on our laptop daily. I feel the need to check, just to be sure. It sucks to feel this way but I still do it. To date he has not been on that site, until three days ago. When I saw the site, my heart just fell. I felt angry and hurt. I know that its not because he is not sexually satisfied with me. I think he is immature and insecure and feels the need for attention. I am led to believe that he is doing this just because he is greedy and seeing if he can actually get away with it. I want to confront him so bad but then I know he will deny it all over again. I created another profile and apparently he has pictures in his profile, but they are private, so you need to email him to gain access to the pics. I am unsure if I should contact him to verify that it is him. I question myself...What am I going to do if it is him? I honestly dont know. I don't even know if this particular profile I checked out is him, yet. And he is planning on buying us a house next month and eventually another baby, so why I ask is he doing this? Is it just out of curiosity? Something new? He tells me that our sexy time together is awesome and like I said, I don't think he s doing this because he needs more sex. So I plan on "contacting" him tonight and see if it is him.......
wwilson89 responded:
Well, I'm not going to advise you to do it or not to do it. Just realize that if you go searching, you might find something, and you asked yourself a big question when you said "What am I going to do if it is him?" For your own sake, you may want to know before you find something you don't like.
Report This| Share this:Ashley MadisonWell, I'm not going to advise you to do it or not to do it. Just realize that if you go searching, you might find something, and you asked yourself a big question when you said "What am I going to do if it is him?" For your own sake, you may want to know before you find something you don't like.
darlyn05 responded:
"Madison", was the name of a charactor in the movie "What Lies Beneath".
Report This| Share this:Ashley Madison"Madison", was the name of a charactor in the movie "What Lies Beneath".
LR2020 responded:
My guess is that it has nothing to do with having more sex; but rather he finds the idea of having sex with someone new, without attachment to be exciting. Fantasy gone too far.
Report This| Share this:Ashley MadisonMy guess is that it has nothing to do with having more sex; but rather he finds the idea of having sex with someone new, without attachment to be exciting. Fantasy gone too far.
munkey16 responded:
I know that ignorance can be bliss in some cases but I feel like I really need to know if its him or not. And he probably doesnt even know how far he wants to take things if he meets someone. Maybe he is just seeing if he still "has it". I know I still feel flattered and good when guys at work flirt with me or give me a compliment so maybe he is looking for this from someone new.
Report This| Share this:Ashley MadisonI know that ignorance can be bliss in some cases but I feel like I really need to know if its him or not. And he probably doesnt even know how far he wants to take things if he meets someone. Maybe he is just seeing if he still "has it". I know I still feel flattered and good when guys at work flirt with me or give me a compliment so maybe he is looking for this from someone new.
cjh1203 responded:
munkey, in another thread you were talking about how unhappy you are, how emotionally abusive he is, how little he contributes financially and around the house, and you said that you were thinking of divorce.
All of that, on top of this, makes me wonder why you are sticking around?
Regarding your last post, I think he probably knows exactly how far he wants to take things. I don't think he's just looking for flirtation or compliments.
It's hard for me to tell how you actually feel about your marriage. In the other thread, it sounded like you wanted out (and it sounded like you had several good reasons). In this thread, it sounds like you're agonizing over the possibility that he might be getting ready to cheat on you again and you want to stay with him.
All of that, on top of this, makes me wonder why you are sticking around?
Regarding your last post, I think he probably knows exactly how far he wants to take things. I don't think he's just looking for flirtation or compliments.
It's hard for me to tell how you actually feel about your marriage. In the other thread, it sounded like you wanted out (and it sounded like you had several good reasons). In this thread, it sounds like you're agonizing over the possibility that he might be getting ready to cheat on you again and you want to stay with him.
Report This| Share this:Ashley Madisonmunkey, in another thread you were talking about how unhappy you are, how emotionally abusive he is, how little he contributes financially and around the house, and you said that you were thinking of divorce. <br><br>All of that, on top of this, makes me wonder why you are sticking around? <br><br>Regarding your last post, I think he probably knows exactly how far he wants to take things. I don't think he's just looking for flirtation or compliments. <br><br>It's hard for me to tell how you actually feel about your marriage. In the other thread, it sounded like you wanted out (and it sounded like you had several good reasons). In this thread, it sounds like you're agonizing over the possibility that he might be getting ready to cheat on you again and you want to stay with him.
GuardSquealer responded:
I will tell you my experience with this type of thing. I am in my 40's. Years ago before the Internet it used to be personal ads in the newspaper. I always found reading them intriguing. I went through a short time where I replied to some when I was single. Never had much luck with it. But I still liked reading them and I guess maybe wondering what the women were like. Once I was married I continued to read them, never replied to anything.
Then comes along the Internet. And the on-line dating sites. They are pretty much like the personal ads in the paper, only now with pictures and a lot more details. So I became intrigued with reading them. It became almost like a fetish I guess. I never did anything but would spend time that I could have been doing something else just looking and fantasizing. I have always been attracted to asian women so I would look at sites that specialized in them, or in foreign brides ect. Still never really did much. But most of those sites you have to set up some type of profile or join, just to browse. So I started doing that.
Well when you do that then the women can send you emails, so I set up other emails that no one knew about so I wouldn't get caught. Then I started responding to some of the emails and corresponding with some of the women. It was suddenly easier than it used to be with the ads in the paper. Much easier to type a quick email then write a letter.
So as the whole thing progressed I suddenly realized I was thinking about actually meeting some of these women. And I realized that I didn't want to jeopardize the things I had so I made myself quit. It hasn't been real easy and I occasionally will look. But I try to control my urges and not do anything that would be wrong.
He probably just has these same urges to look and see what is out there and to fantasize about the other women. If you do find out it is him and confront him and he says he hasn't met up with anyone else. If you can try to believe him and tell him that you do. But that you want to stop it before it leads to anything else. That is of course if you do believe he is just curious and hasn't done anything else.
Then comes along the Internet. And the on-line dating sites. They are pretty much like the personal ads in the paper, only now with pictures and a lot more details. So I became intrigued with reading them. It became almost like a fetish I guess. I never did anything but would spend time that I could have been doing something else just looking and fantasizing. I have always been attracted to asian women so I would look at sites that specialized in them, or in foreign brides ect. Still never really did much. But most of those sites you have to set up some type of profile or join, just to browse. So I started doing that.
Well when you do that then the women can send you emails, so I set up other emails that no one knew about so I wouldn't get caught. Then I started responding to some of the emails and corresponding with some of the women. It was suddenly easier than it used to be with the ads in the paper. Much easier to type a quick email then write a letter.
So as the whole thing progressed I suddenly realized I was thinking about actually meeting some of these women. And I realized that I didn't want to jeopardize the things I had so I made myself quit. It hasn't been real easy and I occasionally will look. But I try to control my urges and not do anything that would be wrong.
He probably just has these same urges to look and see what is out there and to fantasize about the other women. If you do find out it is him and confront him and he says he hasn't met up with anyone else. If you can try to believe him and tell him that you do. But that you want to stop it before it leads to anything else. That is of course if you do believe he is just curious and hasn't done anything else.
Report This| Share this:Ashley MadisonI will tell you my experience with this type of thing. I am in my 40's. Years ago before the Internet it used to be personal ads in the newspaper. I always found reading them intriguing. I went through a short time where I replied to some when I was single. Never had much luck with it. But I still liked reading them and I guess maybe wondering what the women were like. Once I was married I continued to read them, never replied to anything. <br><br>Then comes along the Internet. And the on-line dating sites. They are pretty much like the personal ads in the paper, only now with pictures and a lot more details. So I became intrigued with reading them. It became almost like a fetish I guess. I never did anything but would spend time that I could have been doing something else just looking and fantasizing. I have always been attracted to asian women so I would look at sites that specialized in them, or in foreign brides ect. Still never really did much. But most of those sites you have to set up some type of profile or join, just to browse. So I started doing that. <br><br>Well when you do that then the women can send you emails, so I set up other emails that no one knew about so I wouldn't get caught. Then I started responding to some of the emails and corresponding with some of the women. It was suddenly easier than it used to be with the ads in the paper. Much easier to type a quick email then write a letter. <br><br>So as the whole thing progressed I suddenly realized I was thinking about actually meeting some of these women. And I realized that I didn't want to jeopardize the things I had so I made myself quit. It hasn't been real easy and I occasionally will look. But I try to control my urges and not do anything that would be wrong. <br><br>He probably just has these same urges to look and see what is out there and to fantasize about the other women. If you do find out it is him and confront him and he says he hasn't met up with anyone else. If you can try to believe him and tell him that you do. But that you want to stop it before it leads to anything else. That is of course if you do believe he is just curious and hasn't done anything else.
munkey16 responded:
Thanks to all.
Cjh, In regards to my previous post I did end up having a real heart to heart talk with him. I clearly expressed to him that I would no longer tolerate his verbal abuse and that I was ready to leave. He couldn't believe I was serious. I told how bad he made me feel and that he was pushing me away, making me want out. I told him a marriage takes two, not only me trying. He realized and admitted that he had been bad and out of line in telling me all the things he used to. I told him that if he really felt the things he told me then we really should be apart. He assured me that he does love me and doesn't feel those things, he says them when he is upset and wants to hurt me so that I will leave him alone. He is the type that once is upset just needs to be left alone for a bit. I also told him that next time he starts those type of behaviors, Im out. Since he has not been like that, but I am still guarded. I am torn. One part of me still loves him and wants to believe that he is just immature right now and maybe one day will realize that he has a family and now has other priorities. I think that he feels that since I got pregnant and we got married, that he was somehow cheated out of his youth. He was never a big partier person or wild out all night guy, but it seems like he does miss his single days. I doubt he has cheated on me to date. We are both in law enforcement and work shift work. Fortunately I am on a set day shift schedule right now since getting a special gig. He still does the rotating shifts. I can honestly say I can account for most of his free time as we get the same days off. I also ponder if he does this whenever he is bored at home (I'm at work obviously) and is just messing around with it. A year did pass since he was last looking at the website.
I did send a message contacting him requesting pics. Even if it isn't him, he did still go back there, so....
Cjh, In regards to my previous post I did end up having a real heart to heart talk with him. I clearly expressed to him that I would no longer tolerate his verbal abuse and that I was ready to leave. He couldn't believe I was serious. I told how bad he made me feel and that he was pushing me away, making me want out. I told him a marriage takes two, not only me trying. He realized and admitted that he had been bad and out of line in telling me all the things he used to. I told him that if he really felt the things he told me then we really should be apart. He assured me that he does love me and doesn't feel those things, he says them when he is upset and wants to hurt me so that I will leave him alone. He is the type that once is upset just needs to be left alone for a bit. I also told him that next time he starts those type of behaviors, Im out. Since he has not been like that, but I am still guarded. I am torn. One part of me still loves him and wants to believe that he is just immature right now and maybe one day will realize that he has a family and now has other priorities. I think that he feels that since I got pregnant and we got married, that he was somehow cheated out of his youth. He was never a big partier person or wild out all night guy, but it seems like he does miss his single days. I doubt he has cheated on me to date. We are both in law enforcement and work shift work. Fortunately I am on a set day shift schedule right now since getting a special gig. He still does the rotating shifts. I can honestly say I can account for most of his free time as we get the same days off. I also ponder if he does this whenever he is bored at home (I'm at work obviously) and is just messing around with it. A year did pass since he was last looking at the website.
I did send a message contacting him requesting pics. Even if it isn't him, he did still go back there, so....
Report This| Share this:Ashley MadisonThanks to all. <br><br>Cjh, In regards to my previous post I did end up having a real heart to heart talk with him. I clearly expressed to him that I would no longer tolerate his verbal abuse and that I was ready to leave. He couldn't believe I was serious. I told how bad he made me feel and that he was pushing me away, making me want out. I told him a marriage takes two, not only me trying. He realized and admitted that he had been bad and out of line in telling me all the things he used to. I told him that if he really felt the things he told me then we really should be apart. He assured me that he does love me and doesn't feel those things, he says them when he is upset and wants to hurt me so that I will leave him alone. He is the type that once is upset just needs to be left alone for a bit. I also told him that next time he starts those type of behaviors, Im out. Since he has not been like that, but I am still guarded. I am torn. One part of me still loves him and wants to believe that he is just immature right now and maybe one day will realize that he has a family and now has other priorities. I think that he feels that since I got pregnant and we got married, that he was somehow cheated out of his youth. He was never a big partier person or wild out all night guy, but it seems like he does miss his single days. I doubt he has cheated on me to date. We are both in law enforcement and work shift work. Fortunately I am on a set day shift schedule right now since getting a special gig. He still does the rotating shifts. I can honestly say I can account for most of his free time as we get the same days off. I also ponder if he does this whenever he is bored at home (I'm at work obviously) and is just messing around with it. A year did pass since he was last looking at the website. <br><br>I did send a message contacting him requesting pics. Even if it isn't him, he did still go back there, so....
xanaxplease responded:
I am so sorry. I just went through this. I still am actually going through it. He claims that it's and "ego" thing and that he just likes to get attention from the girls online. We are supposed to get married in a few months. I thought I knew him. I guess I don't. He lives this double life and he will never change. He is sick int he head. It has nothing to do with you. Which is what I keep hearing but still very hard to take in. I hope things are better. If not, you gotta leave. What a horrible, horrible site! I hate hate it. And I don't know if he is on any other sites but now I am checking like a mad women. Ugh. Sucks so bad. Sorry girl 
Report This| Share this:Ashley MadisonI am so sorry. I just went through this. I still am actually going through it. He claims that it's and "ego" thing and that he just likes to get attention from the girls online. We are supposed to get married in a few months. I thought I knew him. I guess I don't. He lives this double life and he will never change. He is sick int he head. It has nothing to do with you. Which is what I keep hearing but still very hard to take in. I hope things are better. If not, you gotta leave. What a horrible, horrible site! I hate hate it. And I don't know if he is on any other sites but now I am checking like a mad women. Ugh. Sucks so bad. Sorry girl <img src="http://img.webmd.com/community/images/frown.gif" align="top" border="0">
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