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My GF's vagina is loose, cheating?
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climber081 posted:
So I have read a lot of posts online about this, and the guy usually gets blasted, so let me tell you some background before anyone jumps to conclusions, I need help!

So I have been dating this girl for about a year now and she is 19. Everything was great at first, then I started to get a weird vibe from her. She would always turn her phone off when we hung out, she didnt (and still hasnt) interduced me to her friends or family even though I have. I asked her how she felt about our relationship and what she wanted and after a heart-felt conversation, I felt like the communication was open and things were better. I still kept getting the same vibe though.

One night, I went through her phones text messages and it turns out she was flirting with an ex-booty call, and he was suggestion a "late night meeting." She told him she was seeing someone and put a frown with it. He replied "it didnt stop you before." Needless to say I broke things off for a while, but since I love her so much, I decided to give her another chance hoping she would change, as she promised she would.

Fast forward, I get the same vibe, I check the phone, same guy, similar flirting. So I call her out on it and she said she was feeling insecure and she wanted the attention and she wasnt going to follow through. (even typing this I feel like a dunce since its super obvious, yet I want to believe) So I told her that when she is feeling like that to just call me since I honestly care for her.

Now, to the point, the other night she says shes coming over, then is very late by the time she got to my place. I asked her where she was and she said she had to make some "pit stops" and left it at that. I should have asked her to go into more details but I didnt. That night when we had sex, she was more loose that normal, and when we had sex the next morning, she was her normal tightness.

I asked a close female friend her opinion and she said the girl was cheating. Also, since in other posts, a womans period cycle came into question, she is not near it in this case.

Now I know there are a lot of red flags, but the question still stands. Looking at it from an honest perspective, and not trying to jump to any conclusions, is it possible for her to just be more loose from time to time? Other than the obvious reasons why im concerned, this is a first, she is normally pretty tight, and this one time was more loose and it was normal. I will ask her tonight if she has been masturbating but I dont think she does as we are very sexually active together, usually having sex 7+ times a week. Please, im not looking for relationship advice here, I just want honest answers. Thanks!
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Lovemyhub responded:
There certainly are a lot of red flags....and I know you said you don't want relationship advice...so just thinking of possible explanations besides the main one it could be....

Another possibility that came to my mind was...do you think your erection may not have been as large/hard? The size of my man's erection can vary from time to time....thus I can see where it might feel "looser" to the guy when in actuality it's the firmness/size variation of the guy....

Just a thought....
 
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4oSomething responded:
climber I agree there are lots of red flags, but the state of her vagina is not one of them. I have given birth, and I have been having sex for 30 years, and my vagina is not loose. I had sex 3 hours ago and you would not know it by the state of my vagina. It's just plain silly to think that it's a way to tell if a woman is cheating on you. She could have been more aroused than usual, she could have been wetter than usual, or as was said your erection could have been not quite up to it's usual standards, perhaps due to your concerns over her possible cheating. Like you said, a few hours later you had sex again in the morning and her vagina was it's "normal tightness" even though it seemed loose late the night before. When you had sex that morning, the state of her vagina did not seem loose even though you had sex a few hours before. You would not be able to tell by the way her vagina felt if she had sex with someone else a few hours before either. I am by no means saying she hasn't cheated on you, I am just saying you can not tell whether she has by the way her vagina feels.
 
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Jumper197074857 responded:
Not relationship advice but a honest answer: break it off with your girlfriend.
 
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Lovemyhub responded:
In addition to what 40something said...the sex in the morning thing...I've read that men's testosterone levels peak in the morning hours....so perhaps the erection then was more intense causing it to feel "tighter"....

I'm in full agreement though with 40something...you can't tell by the feel of it if she's recently cheated.

Go with your gut overall and make the a decision....Ooppps that's advice....sorry....
 
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done4good responded:
Want and opinion from somebody who has been in your shoes? You are clearly SHARING your girlfriend with a bigger guy and NOTHING that the women here on this board says will change how her vaginal fit feels to YOU after she has just made one of her "pit stops". Dump her now or dump her later. It all depends on how much grief you wish to encounter.
 
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rtb12311973 responded:
dont know about your relationship, but i can tell you this. i use to date a girl long time ago, we had sex one night and she spent the night with me so i know she did not see anyone else because she didnt even leave so that morning after we had sex again, she was so loose that i kept coming out. so i dont think it has to do with cheating, like i said dont know about your relationship.
 
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4oSomething responded:
done4good I really think that's about as convincing as women who believe their husband has cheated on them because they ejaculate a drop or 2 less than they normally do. The vagina does not hang open after a large penis is removed. It does close back up.
 
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lamarcoffeeman responded:
being in a google moment i did it...googled the vaginal transplant. and lo and behold a zoo in New Zealand is doing it as we speak. and the monkey house is going nuts over it, due to the fact its only done on the primate called the monkey but the curator said he is looking towards the ....oops phone call..let me finish a bit later. sorry but its long distance. thanks for holding on coffeeman
 
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xbigbenx responded:
sorry ladies who would like to believe otherwise, but I have been in a similar case. Although it was not cheating, I have been with a girl about an hour after she was with another man. The guy was not huge and was actually smaller then myself. And yes, there WAS a difference.

If the girl literally had sex with a guy on the way to your house, you may be able to tell. No, the vagina does not become "loose" forever. But the muscles do stretch to allow penetration, not to mention all the interesting things the muscles do after intercourse, especially after orgasm.

But seriously dude, the FACT is you are doubting this girl. the FACT is you have caught her "flirting" with someone she has had sex with. The FACT is a person is 85% more likely to have sex with someone again once they do it once. The FACT is she has no reason to keep in contact with a "booty call" if she does not want "booty".

The FACT is you need to dump her like yesterdays garbage and get a girl that deserves the nice forgiving guy you seem to be.... oh wait that's also opinion
 
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done4good responded:
40' I am speaking from experience. Are you? There is no question that a guy with a smaller than average sized member will notice if he has sex with his spouse after she has been sexually active with a much larger guy. I am aware that a vagina is considered to be a "potential space" rather than a permanent sized opening. However, if you read the posts where women are trying to cope with their SO's oversized (>7") penis you will find the many assurances by other women who have had the same experience that she will eventually loosen up and be able to easily accommodate him. It's clear that once this takes place, there will be a natural elongation of the vagina that takes place in anticipation of its entry. It's my opinion that the OP will eventually not be sharing a roof with the woman in question. Hopefully it won't take twenty years for him to find the solution.
 
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4oSomething responded:
yes I am speaking from experience, since I do own a vagina and as I said I have used it to give birth and I have been having sex for 30 years, and my vagina is not loose. If that is not sufficient experience for you, my ex husband was nearly 10 inches and of such girth that I could not close my hand around his penis even with my very long fingernails, my nail tips did not quite touch. Even though we were married for 6 years, my now husband of just a smidgen above average size has no problem feeling me nor I him. The times we have had sex and then perhaps 10 minutes or so after sex if he inserts a finger in me in preperation for round 2 I have no problem feeling it even though his finger is much slimmer than his penis and even though we have just had sex. He also has no problem feeling me. Uusally when we have sex a day or so before my period it will start my period early and I will have to rush out of bed for a tampax. Even though the tampax is about a quarter of the size of his penis and even though we will have just had sex I unfortunately do feel the tampax, and believe it or not it doesnt fall out even though I am supposedly loosened from just having sex. In fact it fits quite snugly.

Did you measue the penis of the man your wife was cheating on you with?

I don't need to read assurances about "loosening up" to accomadate a larger man. the loosening up comes with arousal and relaxation instead of cleching the muscles in fear. the cervix moves up out of the way during arousal which is the elongation you speak of. it also moves depending on where a woman is in her menstrual cycle. there are times it can be reached with a finger. it still moves up out of the way. incidently 5-7 inches is fairly average, and is not "oversized" Since I am a short person and do not have 10 inches of space between the opening of my vagina and my uterus, as I have said certain positions and deep penetration were out of the question for me and the ex. is that sufficient experience for you? You can believe what you want, and I have no doubt you were cheated on, but a vagina does not become "loose" from having had sex. Yes I know there are both men and women who believe that it does...... but that doesn't make it true. I also never said OPs woman who is texting and flirting with other men has never cheated.
 
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tastefully_divine responded:


Well I'm really cut and dry!!! Whether you wanna hear it or not you should def. drop her the fact that you look thru her phone should def. say i deserve better!!!!

Im just going to hit you with some facts. Women do expand and it takes some time for your opening to return to normal size. All these folks saying that doesnt happen are in my personal opinion mistaken. If she did cheat and the other guy was bigger and you two had sex the same night it is possible for you to feel the difference. Often times women sit in extremely hot bathes to shrink their opening back down to size. For example think about this it takes on average a woman 6weeks after a baby b4 they can have sex. During this time its like your va jayjay is dragging the floor. lol

But honestly if you have to ask this queston o you're worried about what shes doing you deserve better and you owe it to yourself to find something better...

listen to this song- It Kills Me by Melanie Fiona you'll see wat i mean

Well good luck dont sweat it really what is done in the dark will come to light!
 
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mommie12356 responded:
I realy think you are misleading.About someones jayjay dragging the floor.How old are you by the way?
 
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done4good responded:
Well "40", the issue isn't how your vagina feels to YOU when accommodating a much larger penis or even one a "smidgen over average". It's how it feels to "your penis" in such circumstances and since it's doubtful that you are in possession of one, you clearly have no way of knowing. Regarding my ex and her many partners (3) that I unknowingly shared her with, I'll admit that I never measured any of them, but did have an opportunity to walk in on them having a romp in a rather expensive bed I had recently purchased and could plainly see that he was at the very least twice as long as I and probably 2/3 larger in diameter. So I had no problem in figuring out just why she never recovered from giving birth to her two children she had born for two of her more blessed friends. In fact, the loose fit made it far easier for me to not miss the two or three times a month she gave it up to me.


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