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GF Treats me like a girl
EricJenGeneric posted:
My GF/ Fiance' Jen and her friends treat me like one of the girls and I feel a little wierd about this so I'm just wondering if I should be concerned. OK so it's a long story and I'll try to shorten it. Jen is the love of my life, my queen, my soulmate, I can't even comprehend life with out her in it. Together 4+ years, Me 32 her 27. Jen has a group of friends that come over a few times a month. One friend is in beauticians school so these nights usually turn into slumber party nights. They paint their nails and gossip about this guy and that girl and talk about men. Sometimes they get after me to paint my nails or put on make-up and style my hair. OK so big joke, I'm a mellow guy and open and comfortable with myself enough to go along with the fun. The girls started to call me "erica" as a joke at first but now they call me it in general conversation and passing. Again I'm a guy but people pick on each other all day long at my jobs so I take it as a sign of acceptance and they like me. But here are a few things that concern me. We went to the mall last week and Jen sprayed me with a perfume tester and said as serious as can be "doesn't this smell great? I like it on you" I was perfume W-T-Heck!! Whatever. In the clothes section she's holding up her dresses and outfits and bra sand asking for my opinion like I know anything - though I try to be intersted because she's usually pretty involved with my hobbies. But for christmas she bought me these nylon bikini underwear telling me how sexy they were. Ok so no fruit of the looms, that's alright. Then she buys me these over-sized shiny red pajama tops and bottom made from silk of satin material - kinda girlie, OK so valentines day is coming. I work all long hours so she does all the shopping, so she buys girlie body wash, conditioner, deoderants, and skin lotions and keeps forgetingh to get my brands. She washes my clothes in this perfumed laundry detergent and dryer sheets. The final straw was when she told me about one of her ex-boyfriends from college who was on the swim team and he shaved all over from face to foot, meaning his feet, legs, butt, chest, arms, and back. She said that his skin felt wonderful in bed because it was somooth and soft and wished that my skin was softer and asked me to shave it for her because it is winter and nobody would know and it will grow back by summer (in New England that's like late june). So now I'm wondering if I should be freaked out of if I am just over reacting. Don't get me wrong I flattered that she feels so close to me and we are like best friends but I am also wondering if I should be more like the guy in shining armour than her best friend. I've always been kind of shy and let my girl take the lead, that's who I am, kind of a hippy I suppose. Maybe I need to take a stand ? or go with the flow. Any thoughts ?, either women or guys thoughts appreciated, ERIC
LoveMyIssues responded:
I can't begin to psychoanalyze why your GF and i her GFs so enjoy feminizing you, so I won't go there at all. It sounds a bit like you could afford to assert yourself a little more. I'm a fairly passive, go-along-to-get-along kinda guy, too, but I'd object to some of this stuff. Perfume? "Oh my God, honey, I can't believe you sprayed me with that stuff. Warn me next time!" "Would you mind if we changed laundry detergents? The perfume in this one is too strong for my tastes. How about a hypoallergenic, scent-free one?" As for the body wash, deodorant, etc. ... for cryin' out loud: Go shopping! You don't have to be confrontational or obnoxious about any of this, just let your opinions be known. You can be gentle but firm. I suspect she'll come to respect you for standing up for yourself.
Lovemyhub responded:
I agree with LMI. You can have some preferences of your own and the only way you're going to get them across to her is by telling her and her friends.....gently but with honest sincerity. My hubby lets me take the lead in most things, but I actually like it when he stands up for himself and makes his desires, likes and dislikes known. It makes me feel like he's truly a strong man. I would guess that she might like it too. It's fine to have that you're comfortable enough with yourself to let go and have fun with the girls. I see nothing wrong in that, but you should draw a line somewhere where YOU feel is necessary. It also sounds like to me that you are really freaked out by the whole - guy shaving his whole body thing. Don't be....alot of guys do this. My brother-in-law used to do it. And, in my mind he is the farthest thing I know from being feminine. I'm not saying you should agree to it, I'm saying just don't be freaked out by it. By all means, if that's where you need to draw the line, then do so....Only you know where/what is comfortable and what is not in terms of your masculinity, and YOU will have to be the one to define that for your girl and her friends.....not the other way around.
69angel69 responded:
Dear Eric, I am in complete agreement with both posters (you guys are awesome, HI LMI). Just to add one thing from my perspective. My male lover is as hot and masculine as you can get, but is in in touch with his feminine side. Since I am a female with male energy (don't know what else to call it, not gender identity issues) and ADORE and LOVE the fact that he is a male with feminine energy, (he is not gay, nor does he have gender identity issues). He too, shaves completely, from head to toe, no hair anywhere...and I LOVE it. It is so hot to be able to drip things all over his hot naked body and eat it off without hair. Would I dress him up?? No. Would I spray him with perfume?? No. BUT we do trade underwear and it is very hot and sexy. We play pool and I wear a tie and a pair of his undies. He thinks its the hottest thing. Have you ever watched 9 1/2 weeks?? Watch it. Maybe your girl just loves you so much she feels she can share her fantasies with you...BUT LMI is absolutely correct in stating, gently express what your boundaries are. You deserve to feel comfortable and sexy too!! For sure. You seem like an awesome fellow, you deserve to be heard and respected.
TashaGirl25 responded:
Eric, My husband let's me take the lead also. We too swap underwear (just a little kink - no one gets hurt - just a fun secret between us two) I enjoy having me husband open to new things and new sensations. This has brought us closer and helped our communication. Your GF may want this same level of closeness or perhaps she wants to spice things up. My husband is comfortable with himself wether he watches football on Sundays or watching soaps (Y & R) with me. Give yourself permission to accept what she is offering and give yourself permission to indulge in new sensations from a different perspective. My hubby loves going out with us girls and has learned to let go of his masculine insecurities. There is absolutely nothing wrong with a male exploring his feminine side and being in touch with his feminine side. I for one love it and find it hott.
EricJenGeneric responded:
Hello, Thanks for the gracious and thoughtful comments, I figured that people might be a little immature and under-educated. I was pleasantly surprised to find that I was completely wrong. Yeah, I guess that deep down I am looking for "permission" to let go of my inhibitions and preconceptions where as we live in a society where one male has to be tougher and more manlier than the next. Just last night my fiance' asked to to go to a day spa with her on saturday and I told her that I would think about it. Now I think that I'll accept the offer and experience something new. I also hope to find time for the full body shave to surprize her with on St. Valentines Day. Thanks for the courage and thanks for the insight. Eric
done4good responded:
Be sure you report back with us when you mostress decides to move her boyfriend in with the two of you. I had that proposal from my ex wife the week before she had a protection order sworn out on me in order to move me out of the home I had provided for her, her children which she had implied were fathered by me, and once the divorce was final, her boyfriend of five years. If you didn't KNOW there was something wrong going on with you and your butch girlfriend, you wouldn't be here asking. My Opinion Only :cool:
69angel69 responded:
Dear Eric, Good for you!! That is a beautiful Valentine's Day idea. You will LOVE it. As a matter of fact, you may love her response to your 'hairless' body so much so that you will want the head to toe shave all the time. It seems as though you have found a great support system here. The people here are extremely articulate, intelligent, open-minded and very insightful. Please repost and let us know how you are doing.

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