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Premature ejaculation????
LaPeap posted:
My boyfriend has a very bothersome problem with premature ejaculation. He is very upset about it, understandably, and is pushing himself away. His problem doesn't sound exactly premature ejaculation; there can be stimulation other than penetration (touching, oral) that does not cause this to happen. We can "fool around" for a very long time, but as soon as it comes time to actually have intercourse, he can no longer control himself or goes limp. He gets very high strung and angry about it and this seems to make it worse. He has said that he's always been like this. I am thinking more along the lines of an anxiety problem?
Blake_Valentine responded:
The actual sex act is extremely exciting especially when you're young. Suggest, the next time you have sex, make sure there's plenty of time, and just agree beforehand that the first session of intercourse will be a quickie -- you expect him to come quickly, in fact, you want it. Then just hang out for 15 min or so, talk about who's going to win American Idol or Dancing with the Stars. Then get his mind back on business and the 2nd time around, the edge should be off and he should last longer. If he wears a condom this time, that should help even more. Good luck,
ontbear responded:
Go to the drug store or Wal Mart and get some cream to apply to his penis that will not make it so sensitive. Might want to do the condom the first time.
Good Luck
FCL responded:
Before starting to accuse him of PE tell us how long it takes him to ejaculate once he penetrates you. The national average is 3-5 minutes. Stop and think about it. The way round it is to encourage foreplay. Explain to him that you need more foreplay than he does and that, ideally, he needs to either give you an orgasm via oral or manual or bring you to the brink just before entering you.
LaPeap replied to FCL's response:
I have thought about it and have done some research. I'm not accusing him of PE, I just had a lack of a better term for it. There is no penetration because there is no control for him at that point.
LaPeap replied to Blake_Valentine's response:
Thank you, I will definitely try this. I think letting him know that I or we should expect a quickie will help take some pressure off. Thanks again!
LaPeap replied to ontbear's response:
I did not know they had a cream like that, I've seen condoms that have that but wasn't sure it would work. Thank you for the advice
An_211026 replied to LaPeap's response:
Condoms work for me. Sometimes I can go forever without an orgasm and others I can't last very long at all. Foreplay, at least for my girlfriend, is a good idea. Usually she has more fun if there is foreplay, understandably. I have never tried creams or the condoms with the same stuff, but I've heard good things. We have had sex more than one time in a short period of time and the second time I can go longer.
information2010 responded:
I experienced the same serious problem with my boyfriend. Every time we engaged in sexual relations. This was a problem for both of us because he was ejaculating too quickly for me. I did not say anything about it for a long time because this is not a comfortable subject to address with your lover. To make a long story short, my best friend, Beverly, told me about the premature ejaculation exercises that really work. You can visit and see for yourself. I hope this information helps you because I encountered this problem in my own personal relationship and I can tell you with all honesty that it really works.
confidents responded:
OK from what you wrote your boyfriend is certainly anxious, and this is not helping.... the alternate impotence or PE plus his temperament indicate this. On top of this he MAY have rapid ejaculation caused by the physical susceptibility to rapid ejaculation. Last longer condoms may be better than creams as the new ones prevent any of the desensitizing anesthetic from being transferred to you.... but if he is uptight then that still might not work. Even though it sucks for you too, perhaps tell him you're happy he is so excited for you, wait for 15 mins then try again... or a third time and just have some more fun in the meantime..... that should work.
confidents replied to confidents's response:
and if it turns out to be organic PE then check stop-rapid-ejaculation... there is some good information there
Chrisofwar responded:
Hi there, I'm very good at keeping myself from cuming and controlling when it happens. If your still reading through all the comments, I know I haven't, then you should definitely try my advice. Tell your partner to read this because it might be a little disconcerting getting the information from you.

I wasn't born this way, it's taken me allot of practice. One of the first things you can do is to let him stay inside of you for a long time after he's gone limp so that he can become more accustomed to it.
The technique that is use is to concentrate on the muscle at the base of my penis and try to keep it relaxed. You have to practice allot and you can do it while masturbating also.

What you also can do that makes your practice a hundred times more effective is to stop when you feel like you are getting close, wait a second, and do it all over again without letting yourself cum for a long time. This will cause you to be able to practice a bunch of times during one go, and will train your body to last longer.

This can obviously be extremely frustrating, and it will take awhile before there is improvement. What you need to do as his partner is to be very supportive, and let him know that you don't mind at all, and that you will be sexing him till your old and ugly and he wont be able to get off period lol.

I kid, but this is how I do it, and for me the battle is still won and lost in the first thirty seconds, I still do lose control now and then if I lose concentration because the girl is to hot.

The advice that some of the others have given is good for the short term, but mine is a harder long term approach that can be used along with the other advice.

Good luck to yall, and happy sexing!
Chrisofwar replied to Chrisofwar's response:
cumming on command is much harder, damn, so many people with this problem i should start a web-page lol.
Chrisofwar replied to Chrisofwar's response:
O yeah, I had one last afterthought, if your partner does start getting OK at this, you can try to ruin his efforts now and then as a joke. But it will also help him get the fantasies out of his head for next time because he knows your just teasing.

You can buck around moan and say something like, "O god yes! that feels so good, i'm going to cum, o god YES!" watch him cum on the spot and laugh ;) humiliation is not good though, it's only funny to do if he's laughing also.
joshiii responded:
I think there are times also that it seems hard to control ejaculating since sometimes it seem that the feeling could really not be controlled and it happens. I think women should be flatterd when they could make their men ejaculate faster since it might also mean that he also really enjoys it with you that he could not countrol it.
I have also tried controlling it before but i think there are also times that i think its like leaking a little even i have not ejaculated yet.

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