Sexual Health Community

From my experience in having dated a massive masturbator a long time ago, no masturbation does not cause erection problems. This guy probably masturbated up to 4 or 5 times a day and believe me, he had no problems having sex with me. None what so ever.
Stress and anxiety will cause these problems though, so if you're nervous you might not be able to perform to perfection or worried about going soft, that could cause a loss of erection.
I know nothing about any creams or anything, but if you're worried, you should talk to your doctor.

Thanks Anon, but my thing is the last time I mentioned this to my doctor all she said is anxiety basically the same thing you said. I have relaxed myself to the fullest, there has even been times where I dont think about it at ALL! Like once I was having sex, everything was fine no thinking about anything and it just started going soft. My girlfriend was the one who noticed it that time, I dont know....its really depressing. I think she talks about me to her friends because when it happens she sighs and takes deep breaths and I know she is disappointed, which she should be. I want to ask my doc for Viagra but I am certain she will say Im too young for that and to simply relax, but nothing works.......

Well, it could be a number of reasons.

You may be distracted thinking about how to please her, or maybe your mind will drift off to someplace else? It may be too cold in the room, and if you use condoms... that may be an issue as well. If it's a little tight/uncomfortable.

A penis has a mind of it's own. I'm sure there are times where you've gotten an erection when nothing sexual was going on. It's nature when you may go soft when something sexual is going on. In that case, don't get upset/nervous. Just continue to do other things that you and your gf both find mutually satisfying.

As far as masturbation goes, you have two issues that could play a role.

1) Have you/do you use porn in excessively? Excessive porn does mess with your ability to get turned on in real, intimate situations. Especially if you're not mature enough to mentally decipher acting from the real deal.

2) Masturbating a lot (as long as it's not an addiction) isn't a problem. However, masturbating while physically using a lot of force will cause your penis to become accustomed to the rough msturbation you've been using. Therefore, when it comes down to sex, your gf's vagina just can't go as fast and as hard as your hand.

In that case. Take a break... try a week if possible. When you do have sex... try not to rush it.

I wouldn't say you have ED. I mean, it's possible... but your age... I would say it's more psychological.

Advertising, magazines, television and images and stories around us might lead men to believe that erections should be possible at all times, on demand. But in the real world, erections can depend on how we are feeling, emotions, thoughts, the time of day, sleep patterns, fears, and many other factors.

You may have to dig deeper to find out what's going on.

Hey Cle123, you mentioned that your GF sort of sighed, rolled her eyes etc when it happens. I think you might be stuck in a negative cycle, where you are subconsciously anxious about the reaction of your GF in the event you DID lose your erection, and then you DO lose your erection because you're focused on that instead of how very cool it is to be 19 and just starting your sexual career. Now does this happen when you masturbate? If not, then I think it's got to do with the dynamic you have with this girl at the moment.

Agree with Comtempl 19, you might want to lay off the jerk offs to see what effect that has, but your problem has nothing to do with prior masturbation. Once a day is not excessive, believe me....

Thanks Black_Valentine. Yeah I have thought about the possiblity of that being the cause of my nervousness. I mean it can mess with a young mans self esteem when you see your girl acting as if she is disappointed to the point where you feel pressured to stay up. So thanks for your advice, I have not jerked off in almost two weeks and I still went soft today, let me break dwon what went on...
We were kissing, she teased because she knows I like that. We made out, I fingered her a bit, and then when I put it in it was all fine until I went to switch positions. I instantly started going soft. So, we tried her rubbing it while kissing, fingering her from the back, her shaking her butt on my penis, nothing worked. I then gave up and thats when she sighed and as soon as she left, I could not even watch my Cavs without thinkin "What is wrong with me!?" Thanks again though about the negative cycle, that could be apart of my problem

Contemp19- yes, I did use porn alot and I often imagine things too, such as celebrities. I do believe that I have an addiction to masturbating because I have tried to go without it for the past week and some days and even though I have not gave in, I often think about it alot still and I didnt think it would be this hard not to jerk off which tells me I have an addiction. Also, I was thinkin the same thing about my dick becoming accustomed to my hand. Look, I feel VERY embarresed telling you this but I know that I should include this because it may be an importand detail. I often jerked off without using any lotion or oil because my hands get really sweaty all the time. Ive always had sweaty palms and using lotion always made them sweat ALOT so I just always used my hand..... I know this is not normal and I struggle with this everyday. Thanks again Contemp19

also. one last thing to add, I have been smoking marijuana for about 5 years and I recently quit two weeks ago. Could this be a possible reason also?

From your recent post I think your problems are.

1) The attitude from the gf. Lets face it, if I were in your boat I would feel like crap if she did that. Something like that would definately give you stage fright. Maybe it would help if you didn't try to change positions? Staying in that one position that does give you an erection until you ejaculate will give you a boost of confidence. Then, you two can start over (i.e. foreplay) and then switch positions.

2) Calm down on the use of porn, if it's an issue. If you have to use pornography to masturbate and get a release then you should probably start cutting down on that. Your imagination is just fine, and I actually encourage you to use your imagination when you're physically having sex.

3) I wouldn't say using your sweaty palm is a good lubricate. I use KY liquid, and when I masturbate instead of going ridiculously fast/hard I go about the speed and firmness that I would feel if I were actually having sex. Warming up the lubricate also helps.

You keep saying you have an addiction to maturbation. I don't see an addiction at all. I think about sex and/or masturbation, on average... twice an hour. And, if I weren't so busy I would probably masturbate about twice a day. An addiction is when you can't function without it. If you're sitting at home one day, and you're 45 mins late for work because you feel the urge to masturbate constantly instead... then I would say you have an addiction. But, as another poster noted.... once a day isn't anywhere near an addiction.

Stress is also a major factor. Stress at work? From family? etc...

I can say that the advice you have givn me is better then hat my doctor gives me. It seems like she just thnks its the same for every young person but its not. Thanks again contemp, Ill be back for an update within the next few days.

You're welcome.

I didn't know anything off the bat about marijuana and the effects it has on maintaining an erection. So I did a little bit of research.

From what I found it's about a 50/50 chance. You can get relaxed, and everything is hightened. Or, you can get too relaxed and unable to get an erection, or you'll only be sporting a semi. However that was only if you're smoking a few mins or hours before sexual intercourse.

As far as long term effects marijuana does seem to affect reproductive health. Marijuana has an effect on testosterone production and other hormones, which in turn can affect fertility, erectile dysfunction, menstruation, and other areas. Also, heavy, long-term marijuana use can either cause or contribute to low motivation and sex drive.

I just googled it and got that information... hope it helps.

I am a female who had dealt with this exact same problem with my bf. At first it was frustrating cause I wasn't satisfied, but didn't want to hurt his feelings. But we have found a solution(s):
1) when this happens, play with your gf, you know what i mean. get her super worked up. When me and my bf do this he gets super turned on again by my moans and excitement and is able to get it up again and we can continue what we started
2)Let's say you can't stay up at all after trying #1. Then make your gf cum orally or with manual stimulation before you are ready to be inside her. Then she will already be satisfied and happy, even if you cum too quickly or can't stay up..

hope that helps