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    I want to learn how to please my wife better
    johnfromnc posted:
    I want to learn how to please my wife better. She was a virgin when we got married, so she does not even know a whole lot. I have been wanting to introduce sex toys as a way to spice things up, but she is very comfortable with it.

    Does anyone have any suggestions on how I can send my wife to the moon? I am still trying to get her to like doggie style, but she just does it for me. I want to learn how to please her. I do oral on her, but we still seem to be in a rut
    SUPdude responded:
    Ask her what she'd like ( and listen to her )
    john19791979 responded:
    ask her if she would like a 3sum wiv you and another guy i have come accross a few women who like that thought
    veryinquisitive responded:
    Try visiting a local book store & find an instructional book on how to have a satisfying sex life. Once she sees the different positions & things to enjoy, she might feel a little more adventurous. Talk to her about her feelings about sex. She might have been brought up with some screwed up ideas about women & sex. Good luck.
    veryinquisitive replied to john19791979's response:
    Yeah, real good idea with a young married girl who married as a virgin. Most mature adults have emotional problems & jealousy problems after adventuring into threesomes. Get real!
    john19791979 replied to veryinquisitive's response:
    i ment fantasie lol not in real
    hotjess1978 responded:
    you could try a relaxing sensual massage get her relaxed and horny then make love to her slowly . god my dream lol
    alaska_mommy responded:
    I was a virgin when my husband and I married 3 yrs ago. I was super-conservative, and it took awhile to warm up to oral, anal, etc. What drove me to try these things was part wanting to please my husband, part curiosity. There are some things I like that he's introduced to me and some things I don't. But, he never pressured me to try them, just expressed the desire from time to time or dropped hints. Just take it slow...don't expect her to be super-adventuresome all at once, but look at the big picture and realize that, down the road, you will have a spicy, varied sex life. It just might take her a little time to warm up to new ideas.
    alaska_mommy responded:
    Another thought, if sex toys seem "dirty" to her, try just getting a little vibrator that doesn't look like a sex toy. Maybe a little egg vibe, or even small handheld ones meant for back massage, or whatever she is ok with. Maybe go pick it out together. Sometimes the more erotic aspects of sex can seem too over-the top for some conservative gals, so maybe try to find more "presentable" ways to introduce these things.
    johnfromnc responded:
    Thank you all for your advice. I ordered a ring to go around my dick with a butterfly for her clit. She is willing to try this, perhaps it will be the start of many things to come.

    Any tips on getting her to like doggie style? How many of you ladies actually like it vs. just doing it for him?
    FCL replied to johnfromnc's response:
    There isn't a lot you can do to make anyone like anything. Either they do or they don't. Some women dislike doggie because they feel that they're being "used" because they don't see what's going on and it lacks the whole body skin contact that many enjoy. All I can suggest is that you try doing it in front of a mirror so that she at least has a view of what 's going on ...

    She may learn to like it but don't hold your breath. Supposing you didn't like spinach ... would telling you how good it is make you like it? Would eating it every day make you like it?
    3point14 responded:
    Stop doing things she doesn't like, maybe. She doesn't like toys, so uh DON'T TRY TO USE TOYS. Not all women like them.

    She doesn't like doggie so STOP DOING DOGGIE. She doesn't like it!!!!!!

    You might find she'll start be willing to try things if you're not having her do things she has told you she 1. does not like and 2. does not feel comfortable with.

    Many men like having their prostate stimulated, but I bet if she insisted upon using a strap-on with you and you felt uncomfortable, you'd damn well make her stop. So don't force her to force you to stop, just STOP doing things she does not find pleasurable. Actually LISTEN to what she's saying. The best sex organ isn't your penis, it's your brain. Think a little.
    Jessie77777 replied to 3point14's response:
    I like doggie style best. My advice- I put a pillow (or two) under my stomach to kind of lay/lean on. That way I don't feel like I have to be in push up position for the duration! Also, I like it when my husband has his hands on me- like another poster said... to feel that body contact. Rub her back , feel her breast, etc. during it. It makes me feel more connected and not like some hole for my husband to put his penis in!

    My husband and I have the reverse problem as you. He didn't experiment very much in high school and college, but I did. So, he's the "conservative" one- doesn't like to really talk about sex. I want to try things with him, but they may be a bit outlandish for him. What I would like to do someday (and maybe you could do this with your wife) is to write down fantasies- like little notes to each other. It doesn't have to be crazy fantasies- it may just be something as simple as "I want to try to have sex on the large chair in the living room". Maybe that may break the ice. Make it a game- put the notes in a box, and just start reading them and discussing them.

    And- NEVER continue to do something she doesn't want to do anymore. She needs to trust you- and know that when you do try something new, if she doesn't like it, you'll back off immediatly. She'll be more likely to try stuff if she knows she has the final say.
    alaska_mommy replied to johnfromnc's response:
    I agree about holding off on trying to do something she doesn't like.
    I like doggie style for the way it feels--it's deeper and I feel more sensations than missionary style. At the beginning, I wasn't sure about it, felt like "doing it like the animals on Discovery channel" vs. the tender, face-to-face kind of sex I really wanted. But, as time went on I warmed up to it. Also had to make use of it more when I was pregnant.
    I still prefer missionary as my all time favorite. But I like to try to spice things up from time to time so DH doesn't get bored.
    alaska_mommy replied to johnfromnc's response:
    PS How long have you two been together?

    Also your question was titled "I want to learn to please my wife better."
    Here's a thought: Maybe she really enjoys that plain old, boring face-to-face sex with no toys or erotic fun. I know for me, at the very beginning, I really craved the slow, tender sort of sex whereas my DH got a little bored with it after awhile. He wanted something more wild now and then.
    So, if you're really out to please her, listen to what she wants and work with it. If she likes it simple, keep it simple. Maybe a way to spice it up would be more along the lines of romance--mood lighting, candles, soft music, chocolates, dinner and a movie, bubble baths, showering together, etc.
    Take it slow and you never know--she may come around eventually to your way of thinking. Meantime, try to see it from her perspective.

    Helpful Tips

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    Try reading Becoming Orgasmic: A Sexual and Personal Growth Program for Women by Julia Heiman , Joseph Ph.D. LoPiccolo and David ... More
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