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I dont like to give head
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An_212361 posted:
I hate to give dudes head. It really grosses me out. This started out as a respect issue between me and the guy I lost my virginity to, and has turned into a FEAR. I work in a clinical setting and test urine for hells sake, youd think that I could suck it up and bob a nob, but even when I try to talk myself into doing it for some one,I just let it go... even when I know dam well the dude would LOooooVE it. I have never done it with out my ex boyfriend literally begging which is sad for him I know. Every time I have done it, the guy tells me I am good at it, BUT yeah if he were to tell em im not good I would be offended duh.. It just bugs me cause I know they are lying, like I feel like im not even good at it, and they just lie to me. I dont even feel like I know how to initiate it. It makes me gag, and my OTHER ex boyfriend was UNcircumsized and his head did not taste as pleasant. Im pretty sure mr foreskin dumped me cause I refused to give him head like all the time. So it is a big respect issue for me, I hate when dudes grab onto the back of my neck and start pushing, umm yeah I am not deep throating you cause I dont want to throw up. Once I threw up in a guys lap cause he did that, it was horrible. I have had such bad experiences, but I dont want to feel like I am getting dumped or cheated on because I wont do it. So how can I help myself accept that oral sex is a two way street and that a long term relationship will eventually require it?
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pepsi206 responded:
The only thing I can tell you is that I used to feel the same way. I saw it as disrespectful to me as a woman. However, after being "talked into it" by a guy I really cared about, I came to enjoy the feeling of power it gives to have him so pleasured by what I am doing. For myself, if i'm comfortable enough in a relationship, and care about my partner, I WANT to see him squirm (haha) I enjoy giving him pleasure almost as much as I enjoy recieving.
 
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An_212362 responded:
in a way you are right about not being able to keep a man or he wont cheat on you..giving head is part of a relationship to keep your man happy..i figure that you do other things that you dont like .. do you enjoy it when he goes down on you and makes u explode with pleasure...a man is stupid when they say you are bad at it ..they just enjoy getting it ..bad head is when u leave teeth marks on his penis ..that really hurts..best way for him not to ask for it anymore..if you let him nut in yiour mouth and you swallw ,,he will love you long time...
 
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An_212363 responded:
I know what you mean about your other ex bf who is uncircumsized.. my present bf is uncircumsized too.. what i do is b4 anything goes in my mouth i make sure to shower with him and i wash him up until I feel like its clean enough to go in to my mouth (but he enjoys the wash =) and i also looked up online the flavored lotion and got a mint flavored one.. With the mint on it i get really into it and i enjoy doing it.. maybe you should look into getting a flavored lubricant..
 
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Mrs_Sandoval responded:
The only man I have ever given head to and have had sex with is my husband. I never even tried it until after we were married and I had major gag refluxs. I think that that is common for everyone. I must admit that I hated it up to just recently. He is not circumsized either but he is very clean with it, so that doesnt bug me. I bought some spary at a porn store that numbs your throat, Its called "good head" and it works great. I feel like an instant porn star and my babe loves it. I have also used flavor lubercant and that is great to. When you find a man that you love, nothing will gross you out about and you will even start to like it because it feels so good to know that you know how to satisfy him and make him go crazy. Especially when you do it when he least expects it.
 
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An_212364 responded:
Give yourself time..............and practice. Practice on a banana. Start at the tip and every day try to put it in your mouth a little deeper. You will know your own limit, breathe out through your nose as you shove it into your mouth. Breathe in when you pull it out. When you perform oral on your man, close your eyes and imagine it's that long sweet banana you were working earlier.
Act like a kitten, and just gently lick every inch of his privates, so that way you are a little more ready to perform oral. Fondle him more often........so you get used to it. Take him a bath, and wash it for him. Have fun with your man's equipment, look at it, and remember how much pleasure it gives you.
Pour some soda on it (it will make him scream!!!!!!!) Then lick it off. Pour some honey on it and suck it all off. My Husband tells me it's like I have a seperate relationship with his penis. He tells me I focus so much on it, he gets jealous of his own penis..........he's just joking of course.

You should take this seriously, this is a very important part of being a woman. Practice and Good luck!
 
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alaska_mommy responded:
It sounds like you've had some bad experiences, I don't blame you for being gun-shy...my man has NEVER pushed on the back of my head. I don't think they ever should. That's a sure way to make a woman feel used. They get what they want while you get to throw up???? Nuh-uhhh. Not cool and no thanks. Lucky for me, my DH is very gentle and just sits back and lets me do my thing. Of course he'll ask for deeper or faster or this or that...but never by physically making me do it.
I'm considering practicing up to try deep-throating...but that's another story. (I still haven't been able to bring myself to try...that gag reflex is very powerful.)
Another thing you could do, is start slow with your SO by just licking his cock, not necessarily taking it in your mouth, until you're ready for that. Get your hand(s) wet and use them on the shaft, and focus your tongue on the head. Then, when you feel comfortable with it, take it in your mouth, but don't try to shove it to the back of your throat. Try just taking the head in your mouth and wrapping your hands around the shaft to simulate the feeling of it being inside you. That way you don't get to the back of the throat where the gag reflex is, and BF is still happy cause his cock is in your mouth.
When I was first starting out giving head to my DH I thought for sure I was doing a horrible job b/c I was such a novice, but he always said it felt great. I know more now about how he likes it best, but I think if the guys say you're doing a good job, you should believe them. I think for them a lot of it is visual...seeing their woman giving them a BJ...so even if your mouth isn't doing the perfect rhythm, the visual is going to go a long ways toward making it great head.
If you're not already in a relationship, then I would def. look for a guy who is considerate and thoughtful--I know, that's a "duh" sorta thing but a considerate man will give you time to overcome your previous bad experiences and start making some good ones with him. He won't force you, or rush you, and he'll encourage you and teach you what he likes.
Hang in there!
 
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alaska_mommy replied to An_212364's response:
Soda pop huh? Never tried that...sounds like fun!! (I'm assuming the screaming was in ecstasy and not in pain, LOL!!)
Love the bit about the relationship with your Husband's penis... :D That gave me a smile!
You take care, Miss 22281. Oops, I mean Mrs. ;)
 
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An_212365 responded:
Not all relationships require it and if your with a man that loves you im sure he wouldnt make you do it or make you feel guilty for not. There are other means of pleasure.
 
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3point14 responded:
If you get dumped by a guy because you don't give him oral enough, that's insane.


Dating is NOT about finding someone with whom you don't have things in common and changing, it's about finding someone similar. I'm sure if you're patient you'll be able to find a guy who isn't crazy into it. Just like there are females who don't like it, there are guys that don't.

It sounds like you've had awful times with it, and I totally get why you don't want to. So, don't. Explain to your next BF why you don't like to, and a man of any kind of quality will either be understanding, or be patient with you until you reach, IF you ever reach, a point where you do want to.

And if you don't want a guy to grab the back of your head, tell him that. If he still does, you have teeth. :)
 
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An_212366 replied to 3point14's response:
LOL the teeth thing hurts when you got a woman that dont know how to suck ..when they start to suck good a man cant help to put his hand on the back of her head because it feels so good when they are ready to get a good nut..finding a man that dont like getting a bj is rare..like finding a man that dont like to lick p....y ..they are out there but rare ..i love bjs and i love licking ..just speaking for myself..yes she should give it time and practice ,,practice if she dont want him to go other places to get what he been misiing at home...
 
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An_212367 replied to An_212366's response:
My s.o. has never asked for it. I have done it just because I wanted to, but he never came. He told me it would be dang near impossible for him to cum by head. I never had anyone complain about how I do it though, maybe I suck. My ex never had a problem though. My s.o. loves to go down on me though.
 
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An_212368 responded:
Thanks for all yor advice!
Yes it is true that I have had really bad experiences with it, and yes I fully agree a man should not dump me just for head, and that im probably better off with out him. If I find a man who likes head, but doest pressure me at all, I would like to be able ot give it to him to show him I appreciate him respecting me and not making me do something that makes me uncomfortable. But I am so afraid to do it that I think when i find that guy Ill just be like uhhhh ummm yeah IDK how to do this lol. Oh well... maybe I need advice on how to find a man who isnt a jerk.
 
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ripcmw replied to 3point14's response:
I love giving my husband bj's. It gets me really wet. I know he enjoys it and that excites me (as there's not much else that does excite him). I do have a hard time getting him to cum in my mouth, but when he does, I get f**ked longer and harder, or slow and deep, however I want it!!!! 90% of the time, I can't make him cum in my mouth though. My first husband forced me by holding my head and choked me with his penis. I though I would never do it again and it did take me a long time before I would do it to my present husband. Give yourself time. You can and will enjoy it again!! Find the right man who will give and take equally without making you feel uncomfortable. Good luck!
 
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An_212369 replied to alaska_mommy's response:
Lol........hi there AlaskaMommy, you should really try it...........I don't know if he screamed because it was cold or all the bubbling carbonated water.....................but it was a lot of fun making him scream! I couldn't stop laughing............

I hope you tell us what happens, he will be in for a big surprise..............

See you later, have fun!!!!!!!!! :)


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