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How can a man orgasm more quickly?
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An_212838 posted:
As a male, I'm a bit embarrassed to say, but I am taking too long to orgasm during lovemaking. Most times our lovemaking will go on for 45-to-60 minutes, at which point either I finally orgasm, or as happens more often, my partner gives up trying - exhausted and upset that she couldn't cause an orgasm. Maintaining an erection is not an issue, nor is pleasing my significant other (she will often have 5 or 6 orgasms during that time). I would appreciate any suggestions (anything from creams/lotions to toys to foreplay, etc) that might cut down on the time it takes to orgasm. Any help would be a blessing to me...and especially to my lover and our relationship. Thank you!!
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An_212839 responded:
I have the same issue with my husband. When I have asked him about not being able to orgasm he says that he just couldn't. I have always thought that it was that he was not that into the sex. The pleasing me part is not a problem either, I am able to have multiple orgasms myself. My husband says that sometimes he is to involved with pleasing me to orgasm himself. Hope this helps a little I have been very frustrated myself with this issue.
 
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An_212840 responded:
I have a suggestion...I can't think of where I read this, I guess it had to be one of my girly mags...anyhow, it said that if the woman grabs the skin of your ball sack, like between the balls, and pulls it it will help you orgasm and I believe if she pushes it delays orgasm. I hope that's understandable. I don't know how else to describe it. Not sure how well it works pertaining to timing because my husband is naturally kinda quick, but I know he LOVES it when I do that! I hope this might help you.
 
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Mensch59 responded:
Most of the time I don't orgasm during intercourse or even oral without a little manuel help on my own. Always been that way.
For me, after a while the vagina is just too loose and slippery for me to really feel it.
 
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dexter836 replied to An_212839's response:
think that the reason ur man is not getting his nut is because he does have his mind on you..his mind is some where else..think about it
 
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isabellin responded:
just let her give you a bj touch you and like that lady says when you are insid eof her tell her to pull your skin on your testicles and c if that works for you it works for my husband also when i talk durty to him it works or sit on him let him see its going in you know what i mean
instead of you just giving her to please her make her give you the way you want so you can come after she came of course......

good luck

XOXO
 
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SUPdude replied to dexter836's response:
I disagree totally.....unless maybe it's stress related.

Try holding off for a few days. Build up can do wonders.

Or maybe you have a sensitivity issue. Before I had my last back surgery, I was in the 45 to 50 minute range too.
 
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alaska_mommy responded:
That must be frustrating, plus all the toys and helps out there are aimed at making men last longer, not to orgasm faster. Have you tried any of the male masturbation toys out there? Maybe it would help to get you where you need to go when your partner is not able to. That way you both can be satisfied.
Hope this isn't TMI or whatnot but have you guys tried anal sex? A lot of men say they have a harder time holding off because of it being a tighter fit...maybe it would help you.
Or there is also the prostate massage...
Good luck to you! Hope you find something that works for you.
 
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An_212841 responded:
Inorgasmia and delayed orgasm for men are well known to sex therapists, so you are not alone. Make sure that both you and you partner understand this, and don't make an "issue" of it. It is ok to stop - sex is really about intimacy, thats why it is better than masturbation, and you are obviously intimate. Indeed, most people don't realize that ejaculation and orgasm are not the same for all men all of the time - you might ejaculate but not have a orgasm. Look up the issue on the web for more ideas, or see a sex therapist to have the best chance. The first thing is to get past the psychological issue. The second is to consider your use of alcohol (it will cause problems in excess), drugs and medications - several drugs can actually cause this, including something as simple as a decongestant - I know one guy who solved this just by stopping a Sudafed like drug at the suggestion of a sex therapist. I suggest two other ideas. See if you can persuade your partner to give you oral sex the way you like it if you think you think you are taking too long - after 5 orgasms she should be happy to. That way you are free to switch to that when she is satisfied and you need more time. Teach her how you like it, the use of her hands, the position. Her mouth or just the idea of her doing that for you may be more stimulating right then. The second idea is to experiment different things during masturbation (doing it yourself, or have her do it to you) to see if there is something that really turns you on that might carry over to vaginal sex - or use mutual masturbation as a warm up for you - mutual masturbation can be a fun way to start, and she could end up with more than 6 orgasms. Finally, see if position matters for you, and try others - with her on top it may be better or a whole lot worse for you, having her on her stomach may work well for both of you even without anal sex, and of course the doggie position can be fun.
 
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apokemon responded:
I had the same problem in my 30's. The Doctor found that I had a smaller openning than most men. After the Doctor made the openning 3 times larger (surgery); I had great sex lasting 15-30 minutes (at will) vs 45 minutes plus etc...
 
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off_balance responded:
Go have your testosterone checked.
I started testosterone treatment around six months ago. In the beginning my T levels were around 80 and sex drive was extremely low. After starting treatment my T level went to around 280 and I was having sex 2-3 times per day with no issues reaching orgasm in 10-15 minute range.
Then my Dr. changed my treatment and my T levels dropped to the 180 range. At that range I reached the point you are at.
No issues with getting or maintaining an erection but reaching orgasm became nearly impossible to reach orgasm. Like you, typically after an hour we would both be exhausted. It was really bothering my wife, she felt it was an issue with her. I discussed it with my Dr. and he brought my T levels back up and problem solved. This may not be your problem but I would certainly have it checked.
 
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johnspeed replied to off_balance's response:
Question, with respect to male T levels, is a Urologist the right place to start?
 
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cyclist253 replied to dexter836's response:
A totally unhelpful comment. You have know way of knowing whatsoever what he is thinking of. Such comments can be very destructive. Offer solutions not destructive speculation.
 
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cyclist253 replied to johnspeed's response:
Most likely yes, there are gels which are very easy to use.
 
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dolphinedsea responded:
If you happen to be on antidepressants, check the side effects. I was on Effexor XR for my first time, and it took almost an hour, not to mention I couldn't orgasm from masturbating for up to 30 minutes.
This followed me somewhat after getting off this med, so I still last about 30 minutes. One thing I found helpful in terms of building up to sex was to sit cross legged with my partner in my lap, her legs around my back, while penetrating her. We wouldn't aim to have an orgasm, no 'thrusting' or anything, just take time being in one another, kissing, talking, looking into each others' eyes. This was immensely satisfying in itself and a good way to relax and get in tune with one another before sex. We'd often do it about 15-30 min before.
Another thing that can help is if you ask her to massage or put pressure on your perineum, the area just behind your scrotum. That can provide the extra bit of sensation you need.
It seems like you are very intent on pleasing your partner (which is great) and probably get a bit anxious after a while when you're not getting stimulated yourself, I'd imagine. Someone else mentioned having your partner on top and you watching the actual penetration. This definitely helped me. Otherwise, in my experience, it helped if I just cleared my mind to the point where I focused on the movements and sensations alone, a bit of a meditation.
Also verbal cues as to what feels good are vastly underrated. Talking a bit more during sex can help.
Sometimes (I'm really going off on one) I'd just have to take a break for fifteen, twenty minutes and do other things like simply kissing, or manually/orally stimulating her. The waiting can help get you back into the swing.
I hope this helps you.


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