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addicted to porn?
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walleyeguy posted:
I think I'm addicted to porn on the computer. My wife is totally affended by it and has caught me numerous times. I want to quit but seem to be having trouble. We do not have sex near enough for my needs. So I look at porn. I dont see much wrong with it. Im not cheating just keeping my appetite at bay. But Im afraid my wife may end up leaving me if I cant stop it. Any suggestions will be greatly appreciated... Thanks in advance.
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sameer777 responded:
same here bro , u cant resists , tell your wife , its a addiction ....she might understand.....
 
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An_213021 responded:
wow, not sure how to deal with that one. I have no problems with my husband looking at porn, even though he doesn't. The only way it would bother me is if he chose that over me. But it doesn't seem that way in your case.
Women are very jealous by nature and many women are intimidated by porn because they may think they are inadequate because they are not as well endowed or as wild or a screamer, etc. Some also have moral and/or religion issues against it. She may feel that you like those women more than her and that's why you want to look at it. She may also feel that you may not love her as much because you are looking at porn. If you prefer porn over the real thing, then yes you may have a problem.
Have you explained (in a loving, comforting, non-threatening way) to her that you would like to have sex with her more often and that since she's not interested, you need a safe outlet? Also explain to her (if this is the case), that you don't find those women more attractive, just different, and that you love her very much and would very much like to be with her more.
Just a few thoughts.
Good luck.
 
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alaska_mommy responded:
I agree with Anon. From what it sounds like, I don't think you have an addiction problem, just an under-interested wife problem. Good for you for finding an outlet instead of sleeping around on her. Maybe sit down together and talk about what you can do when you're in the mood and she's not. Would she be more open to magazines than the computer porn? Or would she be willing to provide you with some "porn" of her own? I've done that for my husband at his request, when he is away on business for a couple weeks at a time. I get dressed up sexy and get into different revealing positions for his fantasy pleasures.
Maybe that way, she'd feel better knowing you're looking at her instead of some other girl.
BTW, how often does she want sex? And how often do you want it?
 
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walleyeguy replied to alaska_mommy's response:
I definately dont prefer porn over the real deal but I think Im just an extremely horny person Id be satisfied if we did it daily but I realize that that is nearly an impossibility so Id say ideally Id like to do it 3 times a week. And I too think that the idea of me looking at her instead of porn is a good alt.
 
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alaska_mommy replied to walleyeguy's response:
Is she one of those women who only want it once a month and only when she's in the mood? I hope not, I always cringe when I hear that, that's so hurtful. IMHO both sexes have to give now and then, whether the husband to satisfy the wife when he's not in the mood, or the wife to satisfy the husband when she's not. I don't mean always, but it can't be just one member who gets to dictate when the couple has sex. Not fair. She needs to acknowledge your needs too.
 
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jjchosenjj replied to walleyeguy's response:
maybe theres other areas of her life that shes not happy with. have you taken a look at the posibility that shes not happy with some emotionl things from you. some people when not happy with there significant other use denying sex as a way to get back. Especially if there not confrontational. Its called being pasive aggressive. I was in a relationship with a beautiful woman and she ever so often let me know in subtle ways that she wasnt happy with the prestige of my job. The lack of money I made. I didnt do things to her standards around the house among other things.So after time it wore on me. I didnt want to sleep with her as much. it was the one thing she wanted that I could deny her to get even. It wasn't right but, I tried to talk to her about issues and she wouldnt listen enough to change. Sometimes we have to look at ourselves when theres problems in a relationship. Just something to think about.
 
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luvmy2babiesmuch replied to jjchosenjj's response:
First, I totally disagree with Samee777, you can help yourself, IF you want to...and 2nd, i think the porn may be making you want sex more, not as an outlet. I mean, if I'm hungry, but don't have any money, or I'm on a diet, I don't join friends at an all you can eat buffet for lunch, I get to work on a project to rid my mind from food. At times, I will masterbate to increase my libido, and it works,, it turns me on, and I want more, and want my DH more and more.. reading porn turns me on, at any time, if I wanted my mind off sex, looking at fine men and sexy reading would not be a distraction for sex! AS for your mismatched apetites, talk with her.. if she doesn't agree w/ the porn thing, then maybe with a little love and good talking, and her seeing that you are trying to meet her in the middle- she would be willing to try to find ways to increase her sex drive, since you put your porn down. I have moral issues with porn, and nothing would turn me off as much as seeing my DH lusting after another women... you'd be getting a fight, not sex from me! JMO,, we are all SO different! good luck!
 
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J5DC2 responded:
I can't believe the advice your are getting from some posters here. More so when some of them have responded to other post and stated their deep religious belief and practice!!

No one here can determine whether or not you are addicted to porn, what I can say is that addiction to porn is real and it can destroy a marriage and consequently, a family. You need to be honest with yourself and if it is a problem that affects your marriage you must take action. It seems like some here are ignoring your wife's feelings, that's okay, but you, her husband, must NOT, unless of course, you want to loose her. It matters that it offends your wife and you must settle that with her, even if you need to find counseling for your problem. Walk in her shoes for a moment, if she was doing something that bothered you wouldn't you want her to stop doing it?

I am a male, happily married for more than 14 years, and I would do anything to stop something that offended my wife because I love her, period. I would expect the same from her and I know she would because she loves me.

Don't ignore a problem when you know is a problem and your life will change for the better!
 
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RandilovesRandi responded:
I think you should tell her about it. I think porn can go on both sides cause at one point I like watching it way too much. When me and my exgf wasnt having sex as much it beat the h_ outta cheating like you said. At least you being honest. Tell her you wanna get help for cause you dont wanna lose her.
 
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walleyeguy replied to RandilovesRandi's response:
Well Ive been porn free for two days. And its going well. Had some nice sex with my wife last night and am looking forward to keeping it up. I am going to tell her about my addiction and why I think I am addicted. I know she will understand but it will be hard to tell her the reasons why. Thanks for all the advice I will post some updates as to my success.
 
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isabellin replied to walleyeguy's response:
y are you addicted to porn?
 
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walleyeguy replied to isabellin's response:
I think so I quit smoking and it was easier than quitting porn so yes I would consider myself addicted to porn! There I've taken the most important step right...
 
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triplethreat10 replied to walleyeguy's response:
haven't looked at any in a yr...it can be done


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