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    3 sums among married couples
    123izzy posted:
    hey my husband ha been bugging me for 20 yrs to a have a 3 sum
    and iam about to give in or not what to do
    CygnusWomyn responded:
    I have had wonderful 3somes over the years. With two men and myself or with a male partner and another women. I enjoy. I have usually been in the "guest star" role as the other woman.

    That said, threesomes are a lot like sex in the shower. Someone's ass is usually left out in the cold. Also, if there is a primary couple who loves each other there is usually jealousy and insecurity on the part of one of them.

    A test that I like to put my male partners, who want a double girl fantasy through is this... we can have another woman in the bed as long as we have a 3some with another man first. If a man is unwilling to indulge me and let me enjoy 2 men, why should I be willing to indulge him? It also helps him face his own insecurity, homophobia, performance anxiety etc. All of the very things he is asking me to face for him. If a man says no to a 2 man threesome then he does not get to have a 2 woman threesome with me.
    fcl responded:
    I too, have had wonderful threesomes (and some others not so hot - lol) but I have never had one with my partner. I wouldn't even consider it ... for the simple reason that I don't think I could handle the emotional fallout of watching my life partner having sex with another woman. It's as simple as that for me. My threesomes were all with men I cared about but did not love (in one threesome set up they were both my lovers, they were long-term friends, and were both aware of the other's presence in my life) and that's the big difference for me.
    fcl replied to fcl's response:

    I didn't answer your question. Sorry. So what do you WANT to do? IMO, you should only do it if that is what you really want to do. Don't let yourself be bullied into it. Are you tempted?

    You'd think that after twenty years of asking for the same thing over and over and always getting the same answer that he'd have understood, wouldn't you?
    CygnusWomyn replied to fcl's response:
    I completely agree with FCL on this. When I am in love, I am the alpha female. If I saw any other female canoodling with my man she would get my teeth in her throat. Just me. Also when I am in love I have no desire for other men in our bed.

    This is why I have often been the guest star and rarely the host couple. That said, I have no trouble sharing the men who I am affectionate towards, even dating, but not in love with.
    WakeboardGirl replied to fcl's response:
    I agree. If you are doing it for any other reason than the fact that you TRUELY want to do it, the results can be disasterous. Many couples have had threesomes without any issues, but in the cases of trying to save a relationship, or "giving in" to someone elses requests it never ends well.
    An_213236 responded:
    Dont do it you can not go back. Look at the people who responded they are forever tainted.
    elle0317 responded:
    Absolutely NOT. This man has hounded you for years, he obviously does not respect you or your wishes. What is going to happen if say you did 'cave' to his request, a 3sum may not be anough for him after a while, he will ask of more from you (group sex, swinging etc) and hound you death with it because he knows you will eventually give in to him.
    fcl replied to An_213236's response:
    I beg your pardon? I am not tainted in any way. I have, however, formed opinions from my experience.

    I enjoyed all of my threesomes and certainly do not regret any of them ... not for a minute
    CygnusWomyn replied to fcl's response:
    Yes, I am tainted, by having experiences and knowledge about my sexual self that you will never have. Like Eve I have tasted the apple, and the orange and even the grapes and my world is better for it! LOL too cowardly to use your own ID.
    firefighter38111 responded:
    I respect your attitude FCL but everyone doesn't have that security you have in your sexual boundaries. Its great to skydive but that first leap is nerve wracking. My wife and I have fantasies about threesomes; MMF and me watching her with another female also but we leave them at that because we are afraid that what short term pleasure cannot equate to the chance of a long term marriage problem. We made one rule when we married about the sex part. No one in the bed room but us and so far its been that way but we try to change things around sexually enough to help.
    fcl replied to firefighter38111's response:
    I don't think you read my previous post ... I enjoyed every one of my threesomes, have no regrets but would never have one with someone I loved ... I just couldn't handle the emotional fallout.
    firefighter38111 replied to fcl's response:
    thought i did read it but sorry i meant well by my post ty for calling that to my attention have a great day
    darklilly responded:
    I just had my first 3some a few days ago and it was great but I say if you don't want to stick to your guns and don't do it but thats just my take on the issue.
    sc_cat responded:
    3somes can be awesome. me and my bf have done it several times. me, him and another guy. it is amazing to be in the middle of 2 wonderful guys. but all 3 of you must be really want to be in the situation. if you are uncomfortable at all, don't do it. my bf is amazing when it comes to my fantasies. he is more than willing to try different things. but that has to go both ways for things to work.

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