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It's really hard to stay a virgin
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An_214142 posted:
I'm away from home at college. I have dated a few boys and have let them kiss me, but I didn't know that my body was going to go crazy when they started touching me. How can I stay a virgin when my body is aching for sex?
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An_214143 responded:
Dont put yourself in situations where boys are touching you plain and simple.
 
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happy2bapanda responded:
Masturbation. It help relieve that crazy tension that the boys bring on, while letting you keep your virginity.
 
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fuzzyguy responded:
I'm proud of you for wanting to keep your virginity.
Both responders gave you really good advice.

Good luck to you.
 
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queston responded:
Years ago, Ann Landers or Dear Abby, one or the other, gave what I think is terrific advice. Decide in advance what your limits are, and never revise them in the heat of passion. So, if only kissing is the limit, then stick to it when the time comes.

You can always re-evaluate, when your head is clear and your hormones have settled down some, those limits. But never revise them in the heat of the moment.

I agree about masturbation as well--it is a very healthy sexual outlet and also helps you to get to know your body and your response to various stimuli, which will be extremely helpful to you as you are able to communicate to your eventual partner(s) when you do become sexually active.
 
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Elle0317 responded:
Anon_59159 was right, stay away from those tempting situations. Same as if you were trying not to drink, would you go to a bar?
 
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Mensch59 replied to Elle0317's response:
Simply stay away? you can't compare the desire for love and companionship to alcohol.
Her personal strength, moral beliefs and the advice given by others is what she needs to maintain her goal of remaining a virgin.
 
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3point14 replied to Mensch59's response:
Make sure the guys you are allowing to touch you know that you want to remain a virgin. This would help in three ways: it would emphasize to them the value they should place on being allowed to please you, it would make them less likely to pressure you, and it keeps you from being a "tease" and hopefully keeps everyone from having hurt feelings.

I'm gonna third to idea of masturbation, and also discourage especially tempting situations. I would say to do what you are comfortable with, but set a time limit or know that people will be home soon or SOMETHING! Even if you get carried away, if a roommate were to walk in, it would stop you.
 
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Elle0317 replied to Mensch59's response:
She said in her post that her body was aching for sex, not love or companionship. IMO, you can obtain both love and companionship without having sex.
 
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ontbear replied to Elle0317's response:
Elle0317: I am a male, but I want to bring to your attention what you said. I am aching for sex. There is a time when you will give in to emotions..... get yourself some type of counterception..... such as the pill or what you and your heath provider would be the best for you. The pill takes a "time" to get the protection AND make him use a CONDOM!!!!!
 
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An_214144 replied to Mensch59's response:
Well not simply and completely stay away maybe. Just dont be alone keep friends or family around go to public places to hang out. How do you think christian women stay virgins untill they are married they dont put theirselves in situations to tempt themselves untill they are married :)
 
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Mensch59 replied to Elle0317's response:
Affection,companionship, love...they all lead to that aching for sex. That's what makes us human and makes more humans. The feelings she is trying to manage are as old as humanity. And boys will still try to find a way to take physical affection 1 step further...even in conservative religious environments.
Girls used to marry younger which took care of those unfulfilled desires, but now we live longer and life is more complex than 100 years ago.
This is courtship of the modern era
 
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Elle0317 replied to Mensch59's response:
Yes, I agree, boys will always try to push for more than some girls are willing to give. That's why staying away from those situations are going to benefit her desire to remain a virgin, as you stated those desires are as old as time and if she keeps up what she is doing, then those perfectly natural hormones will win eventually.
 
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Mensch59 replied to Elle0317's response:
Yes. those hormones will win. Even girls in all female colleges cannot control that.
As we marry later and later, these issues will persist..
 
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fuzzyguy responded:
I responded! once before.
I think it was Dr. James Dobson that said that boys will play at love (I think the idea is "pretend") to get what they want, sex, and that girls will play at sex to get what they want, love.

I am a guy and was sexually active as a teenager. I was pushy and tried my best with many of the girls I dated. I just want to warn you about the kind of guy I used to be. One of the other people posting advocated setting limits and absolutely sticking to them. Extremely good advice. I dated a several very nice girls who did this. Our relationships were good, I knew the limits and it worked.
Good luck. I wish you the very best


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