Skip to content
My WebMD Sign In, Sign Up
Switching from Anal to Vaginal Sex..How Dangerous?
avatar
LoveMyLady posted:
About 6 months ago my lady and I started enjoying anal sex. We were both excited and happy to find that she really truly loves it. In fact, Lisa has extremely intense multiple orgasms anally and we both can really get nearly out of control. I am so extremely fortunate, after only a quick gentle warm-up she loves taking me as hard and deep as possible with only pleasure as the result.

Now, we did all the reading and try our best to be responsible regarding germs, etc. She always includes a thorough enema before we have anal sex, and is always squeaky clean before we start. We use plenty of lube. I have never seen even a trace of fecal matter or any associated odor, she is as clean anally as she is vaginally.

The problem is, once we get going hard and fast and she begins having orgasms, she often wants me to go back and forth between her vagina and her rear, and I love that too. Unfortunately the stopping, cleaning myself with antiseptic towelettes, etc. is a real damper to the passion.

Our question is, how much real danger is there with going back and forth if we don't stop to "wipe it down" in between? We have actually done that a couple of times when passion won out over logic, and it made for a much more instense lovemaking session. Okay, we are fully aware of the recommendations by the medical people and understand the concern with anal bacteria in her vagina, and obviously want to avoid her getting a nasty vaginal infection, but what are the real common sense chances of that happening given how clean we start out? It seems to us that the medical profession always takes caution to the nth degree, sometimes beyond practical. We wonder what the real chances of infections or other problems are in everyday practical terms.

We are seeing more and more porn stars doing this very thing, back and forth between orifices and often with multiple partners in the same act. I hate to pose the question like this, but for lack of a better way, what can we REALLY "get away with"?

I should add that we're both in our late 50's, both monagamous for several years and both had clean test results before we became intimate. My lady has had a hysterectomy including ovaries, there really isn't much left of her reproductive system to be affected and doesn't have UTI's, yeast infections, or other problems of that sort. And please don't suggest using condoms, we are both totally STD free and obviously have no pregnancy concerns, and are really enjoying our no-condom sex life. We'd both rather stop and use the toewlettes than resort to a condom.

Any help would be appreciated, we've really hit on something that has us enjoying extremely passionate out-of-control orgasmic sex again, and we'd love to find out that we can just go for it. Most curious if there are other couples out there "throwing caution to the wind" without experiencing the nasty problems the medical people warn us about.

Thanks to everyone who replies.

Stephan and Lisa
Reply
 
avatar
An_214346 responded:
Well. I am much younger than you are. Me and my fiance have had anal sex plenty of times. I am a clean freak and he is even worse. When that day came when I wanted him to go back and forth, well a month later I started getting sick. Not only vaginally. I had very bad symptoms. I don't ever trust going back and forth again (in bed)

But have you and your wife ever tired in the shower. there are water based lubes that help a lot and your getting clean and can do both at the same time. it is just a thought.
 
avatar
elle0317 responded:
I wouldn't do that ever, no matter how clean you think it is there is always unseen bacteria. Why not use a dildo/vibrator in her vagina at the same time, my fiance and I do this all the time or he uses his fingers while we have anal too. I understand the intense feelings when both holes are stuffed, just not at the risk of getting an infection.
 
avatar
fcl responded:
She can get a VERY nasty yeast infection.

Try to remind yourself that what you see in porn does NOT reflect reality. They can stop, start, put on a condom, clean up, etc. without it ever being visible on screen. It's all in the magic of the camera (and the editing...).
There's nothing inherently dirty about sex, but if you try real hard and use your imagination you can overcome that.
 
avatar
anon_123 responded:
Highly not recommended.

Everything you have read and heard is correct. This is not a good idea to go back and forth. Especially with out cleaning off first.

Have you ever realized why women are told to wipe from front to back? This is because we don't want bacteria from our anus to be spread to our female parts because it can cause nasty infections. and that is just wiping! imagine actual penetration of the two.... no way. count me out!

Good luck.
 
avatar
alaska_mommy responded:
Not to mention nasty UTI's...the opening to the urinary tract is right smack dab next to the vagina. You can't really help rubbing up against it when penetrating her vaginally soooo...yeah, I don't think so.
 
avatar
3point14 responded:
Why not wear a condom for anal and take it off for vaginal? Or vice-versa?
 
avatar
LoveMyLady replied to 3point14's response:
Thanks to all who responded! This is Lisa, Stephan and I wrote the original post together.

I wanted to ask further of those who replied with the same general idea that switching back and forth between my bottom and my vagina is a bad idea because of the dangers we hear about...do all of you ladies have anal sex too, or are there non-anal appreciaters among the replies?

Just asking because it was all the talk and warnings and expressions of disgust about the idea of anal sex among my many female friends that truly contributed to me going almost 40 years thinking I couldn't possibly enjoy such a thing. So many women I had talked to previously (when my first husband asked me for anal sex and again with two other lovers I have had ask), told me so many horror stories that simply weren't true that it kept me from ever allowing myself to try it. Finally tuning all that out resulted in me finding what has to be the most enjoyable and orgasm-producing form of sex I have ever have had. I only wish I hadn't listened to my girlfriends now, and in fact none of them had ever even tried anal, they just had a boatload of reasons why I shouldn't try it either. So I made a big mistake listening to them, but PLEASE, I'm NOT saying that the warnings you are giving me aren't well-founded and don't make good hygiene sense, I just would like to know which replies are by ladies who actually have anal sex regularly and "know their stuff" so to speak more than those who stay away from it for other reasons. .

Anon66871 is the only other person saying she has anal sex, has tried going back and forth without stopping and had problems because of it. Anyone else who has actually had a bad experience? I'm not fishing for answers that I want to hear, but it seems there are so many women who have stayed away from this pleasurable sex act for less than logical reasons and I am simply trying to qualify the answers I've gotten as coming from those who don't have other hangups with anal sex.

I heard my anus will stretch out and I'll lose control of my bowels, that I'm a sick and perverted woman to enjoy such a dirty demeaning practice, it is nothing but pleasure for the man and pain for the woman, a penis is too large for a butt (he's extra thick too), you know, the list goes on. When I think of all the pleasure I missed out on and prevented my lovers from having I feel silly and sad at the same time - I sure wish I hadn't waited until 55 to try such a pleasurable thing!

Back to my original questions...No condoms please, we both hate them. I have tried my g-spot vibrator in front with Stephan in back, love it and it really makes me gush (I ejaculate). Also tried Stephan in front and a dildo in back, love it but it isn't the full" feeling that sends me to the moon, it's totally involving all of my body openings with complete abandon that gets me going the most, losing control. Twice we let passion win out and he went back and forth several times, often just a thrust or two in between switching orifices, and I have never been so aroused. I must have had 6-8 intense orgasms, gushing 4-5 times. Stephan can cum huge amounts 2-3 times, and it's the ultimate for us, I even enjoy giving Stephan oral sex fresh out of my bottom as part of the rush...I know I'm squeaky clean inside and he doesn't taste any different to me than after he's been in my vagina.

Neither time resulted in any ill effects, prompting us to try to find out if we're just getting extremely lucky or if there are others out there who are playing our kind of games without problems too. We want to hear more from others who have had actual problems specifically because of switching. I wipe front to back and practice impeccable hygiene otherwise. I have to wonder, with the combination of all his semen in both orifices and all my "gush" fluids, even not switching I end up with fluids in my vagina that were also in my bottom just from gravity and changing positions. Problems there too?
 
avatar
An_214347 replied to LoveMyLady's response:
hi lisa and stephan, i am female. i haven't experienced anal personally, but i think as others have said its unsanitary, i think it depends on the people. if you are both very good about hygeine practices, i say it may be possible to get an infection, but by the way you describe your personal experience, i personally think if you think you are clean enough and are enjoying the sex, just stay as clean as you can and enjoy yourselves, then if you do get an infection, well, that happens...heck you could have sex with a condom and still get a UTI, but if you are comfortable with your personal hygeine and have not gotten an infection yet, then I say enjoy yourselves. but that's just my opinion.
 
avatar
anon_123 replied to LoveMyLady's response:
I have tried anal. I have also gotten an infection from doing activities similar to what you are describing. I wouldn't recommend going from anal to vaginal. But if you are willing to risk getting a nasty UTI that could possibly spread to your kidney's, go for it. I was hospitalized from a UTI that turned into a kidney infection. I also wouldn't recommend putting him in your mouth after anal with out washing. Sounds like a good way to get a bacterial infection in your stomach. My husband had this about six months ago from something he ate. meaning when we went out to eat, someone didn't wash their hands very well after going to the bathroom, and spread bacteria to my husband and he was sick for two weeks straight with horrible flu symptoms. Please be careful. This is serious stuff that could leave you very ill. Why not ask your dr. next time you go in what their professional opinion is. I bet they same the same as many others on here.
 
avatar
An_214348 replied to LoveMyLady's response:
I loved it!!!! My favorite position was actually being on top of my fiance while having anal sex.. OH MAN.. the best experience!! I had the clitoral stimulation while anal and each time it made me go crazy (in a good way). I had done it lots of times at that time.

The only reason why I say i "loved" it is because ever since my infection, I'm very afraid to do it again. But that is my own subconscious talking to me. But I feel, that if you are comfortable doing if the way you do than don't stop pleasing you and your partner.

Just if I were to do it again, I'd take MORE precautions than I already do and had. So I'd urge you to make MORE precautions also

Also it wouldn't be a bad idea to talk to your doctor about all your questions.

Good Luck
 
avatar
LoveMyLady replied to anon_123's response:
Thank you for your responses! Anon45386 I appreciate your reply and that you told us up front that you haven't tried anal sex. That's completely your business and you should only do what's right for you. I'm curious though if it's your opinion that anal sex is "unsanitary" in general, or if going further like we have done with switching back and forth is what you mean. I did a ton of reading first when I finally decided I wanted to try it. One thing I learned that makes sense is that it's the fecal matter that is unsanitary, not my rectum, which is actually where the sex takes place. It's not happening in my colon or intestines, only in the flattened tube-shaped organ that connects the colon to my anal opening. I also found out that a simple enema with a drop or two of Provon soap (a gentle antiseptic hand wash) effectively removes all but the tiniest trace of the germs that passed through my rectum in the last bowel movement. If anal sex isn't right for you, that's fine, but in general I have learned that there are far more and nastier germs present continually in our mouths than the first 7-8" inside our anal openings after being properly cleansed.

I also know you are 100% correct that it IS possile to get an infection from anal sex, just as it's possible to get a UTI from vaginal sex or even from oral sex. What I wish I could find were statistics on percentage of risk or something like that so we could make a more informed decision on taking it further with the orifice switching. I also wish I could find information on what KIND of infection is most likely to occur if one occurs. Just like most women I've had UTI's in the past, several years ago, While they were a nuisance and I'd rather not have one, they ween't really that bad and a little sulfa and some cranberry juice stopped them dead in just a couple days. I do appreciate your comment to just enjoy ourselves even though you don't participate. I actually used to have a great female friend that I could talk to about anything, until 6-8 months ago when I told her I had tried anal sex and really liked it - she changed totally and acted like I was a total pervert. That still makes me shake my head.

Anon123, thank you too! Not to pry, but what kind of infection did you end up with? UTI or something else? Did your doctor tell you it was from anal sex? I assume by "activities similar to what you are describing" you meant you had vaginal sex right after anal sex without your lover washing in between? Please, I'm not trying to pick nits, I am just trying to get as good information as I can to apply to our case.

I imagine some of you really cringed when I mentioned the oral sex right after Stephan was in my tush, maybe I shouldn't have let that out. But you know, outside of a few germs that may be there (they're everywhere in life) there really is no bad smell or taste to his penis at all, actually the taste of the KY was harder to get used to than anything. I smell and taste my own vaginal juices on him, but I actually like my own sex scent and taste when I'm fully aroused and lubricating heavily, it's like an aphrodisiac for me (and him too).

Sorry to hear about your hubby's nasty stomach infection. Curious if he and his doctor really nailed it own to the bathroom episode. If so, it's probably doubtful that the man he got it from was very clean to start with though, it sort of leans toward my point of fecal matter being dangerous but not necessarily the orifice it came from if properly cleaned.

Oh how I wish my doctor was open-minded enough to even discuss anal sex. I tried to ask about the risks of the things we are trying, and all he would say is "your anal opening is NOT for sex, it's for elimination only, nothing should enter it, only leave it"!!! End of discussion! Hardly a "professional" opinion, and illustrates my point about medical opinions perfectly - taking things to the nth degree..

Keep talking people, we're defiinitely listening!

Lisa
 
avatar
BalconyBelle replied to LoveMyLady's response:
My fiance and I have done anal, and like you--we really enjoy it. We first started because we don't like sex with condoms, and we're not ready to have kids...the fact that it allowed me to climax harder and faster was an unexpected bonus. We've never deliberately tried switching it up--but it has happened on accident twice. Both times, we stopped, and readjusted.

On one of those occasions, I got sick later. It took about a day for me to start feeling ill--and then I was horrifically sick for two weeks. We're even more careful now. I would never, ever advise deliberately switching from anal to vaginal without washing up for that reason alone.

You could start with vaginal then switch to anal; or oral to anal---either one is more hygenically sound than the reverse, and you'll still get the sensations you love. You could even start with an anal toy, then vaginal sex with your partner, before he switches to anal. I'd definitely recommend the use of a toy dedicated to one particular location over switching back and forth without washing--perhaps one with an 'on' switch that you could flip at the right moment?

The fact that your doctor has hang ups where anal sex is concerned does not invalidate the fact that there are any number of bacteria in your anus and intestinal tract that are harmful and/or toxic to the body when re-inserted either vaginally or orally--which is why I wouldn't recommend ass to mouth either. No matter how scrupulously clean you and your partner are, those bacteria are still there--albeit in reduced numbers. The chances for illness & serious infection still exist. It's up to you whether or not you want to take that risk.

PS: While UTI's can result from something as simple as a change in vaginal chemistry /pH, and can be relatively easy to fix, the effects from the bacteria found in fecal matter (and yes, it's there regardless of preliminary precautions) are more akin to poisoning--diarrhea, abdominal cramps, vomiting, muscular aches/cramps, blood poisoning (if bacteria make their way into the bloodstream), and in severe cases, organ failure & even death. UTI's can generally be fixed quickly, but bacterial infections from fecal matter can have catastrophic, long lasting effects. Chances are you won't find a study that shows the % that incur sickness and/or severe side effects, simply because the risk to the participants, and the number of variables, is too high. The # of bacteria vary from individual to individual, week to week, and can be further altered by personal hygiene practices; the chances of contracting an illness & it's severity are also subject to the variations between individual immune systems, as well as the duration and nature of the individual's sex life (vigorous/rough sex carries a higher risk, because there is increased danger of micro-tears to the anal or vaginal tissue.) To the best of my knowledge, there isn't a magic equation, percentage, or method of going straight from anal to vaginal, or anal to oral that guarantees your safety or prevents you from being vulnerable to bacterial infection. It's purely Russian roulette.

I know that last part might sound preachy, but it's not intended to. UTI's are a nuisance, but rarely serious. Bacterial infections from anal to vaginal or anal to oral ARE. The danger to your health isn't something I could shrug away...so, if you do intend to continue, please know that the potential risks are far more serious than cranberry juice will fix. I am glad that you and your partner are enjoying your sex life, and I hope that you continue to do so--but it might be worth seeking out alternatives that give you the same sensations without the risk.
 
avatar
WenWat replied to BalconyBelle's response:
Of course you can go back and forth between holes if you have sanitized yourself thoroughly enough, that's what the porn people do but they santize for a long time. Most of the people that respond on these only want to look down on you and put words in your mouth you didn't say.

Keep up the cleanliness, keep up that wild hot sex, and don't stop until you see a sign of a problem! Good for you!
 
avatar
LoveMyLady replied to WenWat's response:
Thanks, but we really didn't feel like any of these people who replied here were looking down on us, although that has happened with some of Lisa's female "friends" once they heard she was having anal sex and enjoying it too.

Stephan


Helpful Tips

FIRST TIME
I have been dating someone for around 10 months and he told me he like to talk dirty while having sex, this is my first time talking dirty ... More
Was this Helpful?
0 of 1 found this helpful

Related News

There was an error with this newsfeed

Related Drug Reviews

  • Drug Name User Reviews

Report Problems With Your Medications to the FDA

FDAYou are encouraged to report negative side effects of prescription drugs to the FDA. Visit the FDA MedWatch website or call 1-800-FDA-1088.

For more information, visit Dr. Becker-Phelps' website