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Pull Out Method
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Wilson39437 posted:
Not sure if anyone has posted on this subject recently or not, but I have a question on it. I recently had sex for the first time last week, and as dumb as it sounds, we did not use protection. He assured me that pulling out was completely effective and as far as I know, when he started to ejaculate, he did pull out. My only concern is, I felt something warm while he was inside me. I didn't orgasm so I didn't know if this was from me or from him. It worries me that I could possibly be pregnant. Since I know that there is no 100% effective Birth Control method and especially the one in which we used. I know this may seem silly but I don't know much about anything sexual and I asked him and he says it was me. I guess I'm just looking for some reassurance. Any help is aprreciated.
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queston responded:
Men often have a bit of fluid (sometimes called pre-cum) that comes out when erect that can contain sperm cells. It's very unlikely that this would cause pregnancy, but it is possible.

Pulling out is very risky, especially for young men who may not have as much control over their ejaculation. Of course, it also does not protect you from the spread of STDs like condoms would.

Young men are often able to keep their erection after an orgasm and keep thrusting until a second orgasm. It is possible that that is what he did, in which case you are definitely at risk for pregnancy.

He was definitely wrong when he told you that pulling out is completely reliable. If you are going to be sexually active, you need to educate yourself and take responsibility for your own safety, not rely on partners, IMHO.
 
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Wilson39437 replied to queston's response:
I know...I was on Bc pills for a long while but didn't like the way they made me feel, very emotional. I had planned on taking them again, just had not gotten around to it. I am older than the average virgin, so a pregnancy wouldn't end my world and I don't think he has any STDS, which they aren't always known anyways. I know it was risky.
 
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jennawade responded:
I was 19 when I had a similar experience and I did, indeed, get pregnant. It wasn't my first time having sex but it was the first time I let the guy not use protection in lieu of the 'pull out' method.
Hope for the best!
 
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BalconyBelle replied to jennawade's response:
There are a couple of things that bother me about your partner's actions...1. He's having unprotected sex. 2. He's lying to his partner about the risks involved. Given that..I'd ask him flat out if he's been tested for STD's. If you were not his first, and it's his habit to have sex without protection, he's playing Russian Roulette with your body. If he hasn't been tested, ask him to get one done. DO NOT have unprotected sex again with this person until you know for sure what you're dealing with--after the test results come back, regardless of what they are, you'll at least have an informed choice. Also, while a pregnancy will not end your world---he sounds like the kind of guy who would deny responsibility.
 
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FCL responded:
"when he started to ejaculate, he did pull out"


You're aware that when he starts to ejaculate it's already too late, don't you? You felt something warm ... If there was enough for you to feel it it's mùore liekely that it was ejaculate than pre-cum (many women don't even feel the warmth of ejaculate inside them). I think it's fairly evident that the "something warm" was not from you ... This guy tricked you right dow the mine. He lied about pulling out being effective, he lied about ejaculating, what else did he lie about?


Your second problem is that you allowed a guy who apparently was not a virgin to have unprotected sex with you. You have no idea what kind of STDs he may have had. Condoms are not just about preventing pregnancy, they're also about preventing disease. This guy USED you. Please get yourself tested and, as PP said, stop having sex with him until he does too and you've seen the results.


Finally, where were you on your cycle? Do you have any idea of when you would have ovulated? When is your next period due? If it's been about 10 days since you had sex, you might try taking a home pregnancy test just to set your mind at ease. Please see about STD testing too.



There's nothing inherently dirty about sex, but if you try real hard and use your imagination you can overcome that.
 
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Wilson39437 replied to FCL's response:
@FCL-- I don't keep track of ovulation, so I don't know anything about that. I know my menstrual cycle is due around the 13th again, and this happened the week following my cycle. I know I shouldn't have done this unprotected, I realize how stupid it is..I am going to wait at least the 10 days or see if I'm late on my period before I take a pregnancy and I will go to my gyn and get tested for anything else and I will talk to him about the situation. I don't feel like he used me..I could be completely wrong though.
 
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GuardSquealer replied to Wilson39437's response:
I was always told that the pull out method was the same as trying to get pregnant. I also knew someone that said they used the sheet method. They kept the sheet in between them while having sex. I am not sure how that worked.
 
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Elle0317 replied to GuardSquealer's response:
I had a friend who got pregnant twice using the pull out method.
 
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tmlmtlrl replied to Wilson39437's response:
It sounds to me like he took complete advantage of you and the situation. The fact that he 'assured' you that pulling out was completely effective tells me that. On a common sense level don't you think that if pulling out was completely effective that people would resort to that instead of birth control pills??

There are certain men out there ready and willing to take advantage of the naive and slip their jimmy in uncovered...sounds to me like he was one of those. I have a feeling he will turn crappy towards you once you bring this all up to him and refuse to do it unprotected again.....well after he tries to smooth talk you first.

Oh yeah, the warm feeling you felt, I almost forgot about that part.....yeah, that was his cum going inside of you. This was all so ignorant and cruel it kinda pisses me off to tell ya the truth. The fact that you are young and did this the week after your period all increases the chances of pregnancy. I really hope this is all scary enough for you to NEVER do this again.

Most women don't feel as though they are being used until after the fact when they look back and say oh crap that b@st@rd was using me!!!!!
 
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FCL replied to Wilson39437's response:
The only thing I can add (to tmlmtlrl's excellent post) is that he took complete and utter advantage of your naivety.

Of course you don't feel he took advantage of you, he has you believing that all of this was your idea. Including the bareback sex. Think about it. Was it really?


Please keep us posted.
There's nothing inherently dirty about sex, but if you try real hard and use your imagination you can overcome that.
 
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3point14 replied to Wilson39437's response:
I don't think he used you either, to be honest. I think you got yourself into a situation were you were completely unprepared for what was going on, and completely ignorant of what your responsibility was to avoid a consequence that you don't want.

It is up to YOU to protect YOUR body. As true as it is that what he did wasn't honorable by any means, it is not his or anyone else's responsibility to keep YOUR body safe and in the condition you want. I'm assuming you had the internet before you had sex, too. Why not just look something up before you engage in an act that can have lifelong consequences for you and an innocent baby?

You're right, no form of birth control is 100% effective.But not using any is 0% effective. So take time to educate yourself before putting yourself at risk. And get tested, just in case.
 
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dfgbull; responded:
It appears that most if not all of the responders were women, so I will give you a mans input on this. He definitely took advantage of you! He found a sexually naive woman, lied to her, and put her at risk of std/pregnancy. This man is bad news and you would be better off to stop seeing him now.
 
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FCL replied to 3point14's response:
"you were completely unprepared for what was going on, and completely ignorant of what your responsibility was "


And if that isn't proof of being taken advantage of, of being used, I don't know what is. 3.14 he KNEW she had no idea and she trusted him as her first lover. She wasn't deliberately naive.
There's nothing inherently dirty about sex, but if you try real hard and use your imagination you can overcome that.
 
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3point14 replied to FCL's response:
She had been on BC before. She knew that that protects against pregnancy. She "older than the average virgin", and at least saw this website at some point to be posting on it, and it also has facts about birth control.

I think a person's first line of defense against being taken advantage of is information. The second is action. She at least had some information, but took no action. I think in that instance, you have only yourself to blame.

I'm not saying he's innocent, but he could be equally ignorant. He could legitimately believe that pulling out is effective, he could legitimately believe that "starting to ejaculate" is different from ejaculating. We don't know his level of experience, so I think it's unfair to demonize him just for doing what the OP did, too. And I don't think it's his responsibility to educate her, I think it's in his best interests, but at a certain point, I think people assume a certain level of knowledge. He may have overestimated hers.


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