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bluejeans626 posted:
My boyfriend loves sex. He is 66 yrs old. But very healthy and active. I found out that he watches porn quit often. Now he is into web cams and that bothers me. I have tried to talk to him about letting me join in and do some things that would excite us both. He talks like he is willing to try new things but it never happens. Why is it so important for a man to watch these things? We have a great sex life but I now it could be even better. How do I approach him with new things...
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5337guy responded:
In my opinion you have to just do it. You can initiate sex. I would love it if my wife would initiate more often (one time would be more often, because she NEVER initiates). Also, you have to tell him what you want and how you want it. This is another thing my wife never does. The only feedback I get is if I ask if she likes whatever I'm doing, and she always says it feels good. That's it, conversation over. Sometime, you could say "Let's watch some porn tonight" and help pick out something to watch. Then when you see something on the screen that looks fun, suggest turning the TV off and trying it yourselves.
 
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bluejeans626 replied to 5337guy's response:
I want to do this as you suggest. I have a very healthy sexual appetite and so does he. We make good love together.
I know he watches videos and web cams on the internet. But I don't understand why he doesn;t make the move to initiate some of the things he sees. I have suggested watching some together and when we are talking about it, he is all for it. But it never happens. He is very visual and loves to see a naked woman. Are all men like this? I was married to the same man for 34 yrs and do not have a lot of experience outside. But I do like sex and I initiate sex all the time and he responds accordingly. But most of the time it is traditional sex. He can watch and enjoy watching some of the things that are on the internet why not in our bed? Maybe our relationship is still too new? I would appreciate any man responding with how they feel about their woman making suggestions about a little different kind of sex.. Do you think a woman should not do this kind of thing or that whats on the internet, is it something forbidden and thats what excites you? If you watch it and get excited by watching it.. why not try it for real.
 
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LoveMyGuy replied to bluejeans626's response:
Why is it "so important?" In the grand picture, it probably isn't. But it IS enjoyable for many many men and alot of women, too. Men on the average truly enjoy "visual" sexual stimulation, and it's now easily and readily available online. He likes it for the same reason he probably likes to have sex with the lights on, for the visual stimulation.

It's very possible your guy just doesn't quite understand your interest in watching internet porn and playing webcam games WITH him because so many women are so vocal against their man even viewing porn at all. It is a subject of so much controversy and often generates so much insecurity in females that it's easy to see a man being afraid to even discuss it with them.

Here's a suggestion, when you're feeling sexy, why don't YOU sit down at the computer and pull up some porn that turns you on, and let him find you enjoying it. I bet he'll be pleasantly surprised and might just sit down with you and join in. Him seeing you actually enjoying something that many many women would shame him for could represent a big step forward in your sex lives. I bet he'd be thrilled to try some of the things you two see together online once he realizes you aren't going to throw a fit for him viewing porn.

He's probably just nervous about his like of porn and does it by himself to stay out of trouble with you. Communication is everything here, dear.

Lisa


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