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An_214653 posted:
All my boyfriend talks about it sex. He bugs me for sex all the time.If he doesn't get it he gets mad at me. Now when we were fighting last night he said he feels like he loves me less because I don't give him enough sex. thats because I don't feel like having sex that much. I'm worried about our relationship. Is sex a main thing in a relationship and if we don't have alot of sex can our relationship fail?
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SunConure responded:
No I don't think sex is the main thing in a relationship and it shouldn't be! For us sex is very important and I wouldn't be happy if we didn't do it, but it's not at the top of our list! From what it sounds like your bf may leave you if you don't give him what he wants which is stupid, he's acting like a kid, I suggest sitting down and talking to him and telling him how you feel about everything. Sex is one of those things that if you don't agree on it, it can strain a relationship.
 
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bob249 responded:
Without knowing you're ages, replies will be more speculative.

If he's younger, less than thirty, then his drive is gonna be higher. (No offense intended to older male readers who are still stallions.) And most younger women also have high drives - IF the sex they're having leaves them satisfied.

Could write a book, now, but a waste of electrons if it doesn't apply to you. The short version:
Younger guys often do not have enough sex training. Think about movies where the woman appears to be in ecstasy resulting from basic intercourse with little or no foreplay beforehand. Unless you're one of a very few women, that DOES NOT happen for you. Not even with Brad Pitt - or whichever male actor makes you swoon.

Yet, that may be all the education your boyfriend has.

So, get to know what turns you on. (May require masturbation, toys, etc.) Then SHOW him how you work. If he is a caring, considerate boyfriend, he will be more satisfied knowing his lovemaking is great for you.

Since he's playing the love card if you don't give in, that is a concern.
 
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elle0317 responded:
Sex is important but to say he doesn't love you as much because he doesn't get the sex he thinks he should be getting is, at best, childish. There is more to a relationship than sex and he needs to be reminded of this, ask him what he does love about you. Being hounded for sex all the time is a turn off, have you told him that? I can understand why us women get turned off by that, we need to FEEL special and loved, if not all the time, then most the time. Not treated like a free hooker who opens her legs just because he's horny.

Lack of sex can cause certain relationships to fail, but they are the ones that are usually based on sex and not on the foundation of love. I would say this relationship has run it's course.
 
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3point14 responded:
I believe that sex is massively important to a relationship. Sex is the big difference, to me, between a friendship and a relationship.

That being said, sex is a lot about compromise. If he won't compromise a little and be content with less frequent sex, it's a sign that you could be mismatched sexually. The fact that he's a jerk about it, with the getting mad at you, is a big sign that he's just a jerk in general. How invested are you in this relationship? Does he pressure you about other stuff? Was the frequency of your sex ever more than what it is now?
 
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lioness_10 responded:
sex is an important factor in a serious relationship...your age and maturity have alot to do with it...each person is different about how much they like and want to have sex....

i would suggest you talk to your boyfriend and find a common ground...compromise is great and key in any relationship...it comes second to communication..
~MaMaBeAr~
 
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dfgbull responded:
Some advise from a man who was (for many years) in the position of your bf. NEVER underestimate the importance of sex to a man. In my marriage, sex happened about 15% of the times I wanted and as a result I did not feel loved. The lack of sexual intimacy had a negative impact on our whole marriage, and eventually lead to my becoming depressed. Recently, my wife read a book (No More Headaches) which changed her perspective and helped her to understand what sexual frustration was doing to me. Now sex is great, our relationship is great, and I am off the antidepressants. This may or may not be your situation but the short answer to your question is that, for many men, sex is vital and without it the whole relationship will suffer.


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