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bewildered
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lastresort45 posted:
Here is one for all you readers to crack.....
Im a very sensual and attractive 45 year old woman and have been married to the same man for 16 years. My husband is the same age and is not overweight nor does he have any health problems to affect our situation.
Not once has he reciprocated my spontaneous romantic displays of affection and Im usually the one to initiate sex. For the past four years he cannot maintain his erection for more than a few seconds and most often his penis is not fully erect. He has made half hearted attempts to seek assistance for this problem and did not do so until my insistance that something has got to change. When the forms of assistance suggested to him by not only his primary physician but also the urologist did not work, he did not pursue any further treatment. He says its not me, its him but yet he continues to do nothing.
I have given him several ultimatums regarding this problem and the impact it is having on me emotionally and he does not take me serious. In the interim, we don't have sex for months on end and when I try to initiate it once again in the hopes of something changing, Im left disappointed. Yes, I am thinking about cheating and comtemplating divorce. Other than the issues that I have mentioned, he is a great guy but Im in my prime and need physical contact.
What do you suggest I do?
3 Replies |Watch This Discussion | Report This| Share this:bewilderedHere is one for all you readers to crack.....<br /> Im a very sensual and attractive 45 year old woman and have been married to the same man for 16 years. My husband is the same age and is not overweight nor does he have any health problems to affect our situation. <br /> Not once has he reciprocated my spontaneous romantic displays of affection and Im usually the one to initiate sex. For the past four years he cannot maintain his erection for more than a few seconds and most often his penis is not fully erect. He has made half hearted attempts to seek assistance for this problem and did not do so until my insistance that something has got to change. When the forms of assistance suggested to him by not only his primary physician but also the urologist did not work, he did not pursue any further treatment. He says its not me, its him but yet he continues to do nothing. <br /> I have given him several ultimatums regarding this problem and the impact it is having on me emotionally and he does not take me serious. In the interim, we don't have sex for months on end and when I try to initiate it once again in the hopes of something changing, Im left disappointed. Yes, I am thinking about cheating and comtemplating divorce. Other than the issues that I have mentioned, he is a great guy but Im in my prime and need physical contact. <br /> What do you suggest I do?
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georgiagail responded:
Sounds like you've already made up your mind what you wish to do.

Gail
Report This| Share this:bewilderedSounds like you've already made up your mind what you wish to do.<br /><br />Gail
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longduckdong46 responded:
Something is certainly wrong in the intimacy department with him. Were there any medical changes in him prior to this starting, ie meds, physical ailments ?
Report This| Share this:bewilderedSomething is certainly wrong in the intimacy department with him. Were there any medical changes in him prior to this starting, ie meds, physical ailments ?
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3point14 responded:
Have you discussed with him the idea of an open marriage? When he was able to maintain an erection, was the sex satisfying for him?

Also, when one gives several ultimatums and nothing changes, it makes the other person doubt your sincerity. I'm not trying to criticize, but it could be that because you've given him several ultimatums and nothing has changed that he doesn't see the extent of your dissatisfaction. You need to back up what you say, which might mean seeing a doctor with him, seeing a sex therapist, or worse comes to worst leaving him, even only temporarily, to show to him that you are serious and that this is unacceptable to you.

Best of luck!
Report This| Share this:bewilderedHave you discussed with him the idea of an open marriage? When he was able to maintain an erection, was the sex satisfying for him?<br /> <br />Also, when one gives several ultimatums and nothing changes, it makes the other person doubt your sincerity. I'm not trying to criticize, but it could be that because you've given him several ultimatums and nothing has changed that he doesn't see the extent of your dissatisfaction. You need to back up what you say, which might mean seeing a doctor with him, seeing a sex therapist, or worse comes to worst leaving him, even only temporarily, to show to him that you are serious and that this is unacceptable to you.<br /> <br />Best of luck!
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