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what is the cause for my boyfriend's Premature Ejaculations?? HELP!
An_214863 posted:
each time we get intimate... my guy comes way too soon, usually about 1-2 minutes before we get started. He say that he can't control it, that it just happens. He said this problem only happens with ME. In other words, his ex girlfriend(s)... from over the years did not cause him to come so fast. So, my question is.... is he just lying to me, or trying to hurt me because he comes too fast way BEFORE I can come with him. Is he just rushing things because he really don't want to have sex with me? OR is it because he is BORED with our lovemaking sessions.?

I cannot get him to give me an honest answer. I really feel there is MORE going on with him than what he is telling me. Maybe he is having sex with others. I just don't know anymore. I feel like I am slowly being pushed toward depression because of his behavior. I think HE is embarressed by it all. He seems to be fustrated by his lack of control. HELP me please. I really need some answers. Is this ejaculation problem a medical condition? What can both of us do, so we can at least cum together once or twicw in a month. What can I do to help him, to help us enjoy our intimate times together?
Blake_Valentine responded:
Hi. A couple of thoughts. When you say that he comes too soon, 1-2 minutes before you get started, do you really mean 1-2 min after he penetrates you? If he really is coming while he's pulling back the comforter, then yes, that's abit early, but if it's once you start having sex, then that's sooner than average (the figure usually used in this room is about 3-5 minutes), but not terribly early. But certainly there are things you can do to prolong sex.

One thing that strikes me about your post is that you appear to feel that this might be attack on you, or some reflection on how he feels about you. I can tell you that when your BF says it only happens with you, he is paying you a compliment. Male orgasms are mostly all in the head, and if he is coming that soon, he's either really turned on by you, or the way he feels when he sinks into you is mindblowing to him. In my experience, I could last much longer with some GFs than others, but the sex was much more exciting with the GFs I was more attracted to, or who I "fit" better with. When he says he can't control it, he can't. There's no way in the world he's bored. But...

...nothing will kill sexual desire quicker than anxiety and suspicion (of each other's motives). If you both really are stressing over this, you will be nipping your sexual life with each other in the bud, before it has a chance to blossom. Sex is a blast! It's supposed to be fun, but you have approach it from a standpoint of adventure and trust, using communication. There's no need to feel depressed over this -- you just have to readjust your expectations, and relax! One thing I would do is make sure you have plenty of time set aside the next time you have sex. And don't even think about intercourse for the 1st 30 minutes or so. Just spend time enjoying each others bodies, engaging in mutual masturbation and oral. Make him cum and then only have sex when he's able to get erect again. He should be much slower on the draw this time.

One last thought -- the whole idea of coming together is quaint but sort of like Camelot in my just doesn't happen that often. Instead of making that the goal, lower the standard for great lovemaking to ensuring that both partners feel loved and cared for. That should help banish the anxiety and suspicion from your bedroom. Hey report back, OK? Good luck!
Rhondamay responded:
Blake gave you some good advice.

How you handle your BFs quick trigger can make a difference.

I think it happens to all guys occasionally. The first time my sweetie and I attempted intercourse he ejaculated in my hand as I was guiding him in. I was shocked and my heart sank. He broke out laughing and that kind of relaxed me. We continued foreplay for ten or fifteen minutes more and tried again with great success. His confidence and humor saved the day.

He may have been embarrassed but he covered it well.

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