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I need help with my OCD Hubby.
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An_214955 posted:
I am new to this site and new to this situation. I've been marred now for 3 years to a wonderful man. When I first met him he told me that he that he has OCD. I asked him to tell me about the extend of his condition and inquired as to how it affects him and others. Most importantly I asked if he was receiving treatment for it and if he is being responsible and keeping up with the treatments and meds. eh told me that he sometimes has a "Thing about numbers and just avoids things with certion numbers form time to time and that he has been taking medication for years and the treatment has been and is sucessful. Well, now after theree years into our marriage, I am seeing OCD symptoms on a increasingly frequent baisis and it is scaring me. Early in our dating and in the first year of our marriage I would see him buy a lottery ticket and then tear it up and buy another one because he felt the numbers were all wrong. But now,he is returning purchases after he's gotten the items home and out of their boxes, just because the total at the register was' just a wrong number" and the number was bothering him. He also adamatly insisted that I return a brand new desk that I purchased for our home office just because he noticed that one of the four 20 digit serial numbers on the package contained three 6's in it. I could not return the desk because it was from an outlet sotre final sale. So I ended up giving the $200 desk to a thrift store in order to appease my husband's anxiety and anger. He then forbid me to buy anything else from the J.C. Penny Outlet store because 'they have wrong numbers" on their merchandise. There have been other behaviors well over the past 2 years and they seem to be escalating in severity. And today today just took the cake, They may seem smalll to you, but now he's got me wondering if I can trust him and what he tells me and whether or not I am enabling his behavior. Today I changed the bedding on our bed to some really nice sheets that I purchased months ago and have had on the bed before. They are something like 800 count Egyptian cotton. Anyway... He told me today that the sheets must go because he just could not sleep on them, " Those sheets robbed me of my sleep." He offered nothing concrete and never mind that he has never had a problem before now. In fact when I first introduced them he said he really liked them and he has no problem with getting sleep. Now all of a sudden, they are robbing him of his sleep and they must go. He also suddenly decided to chang the hone number to the cell phone that we have been providing for my mom for the past 2 years. He did this with consulting with me first or notifying my mom and siblings first. After I found our, the only thing he could say to me was, " the number was wrong and I felt that it was affecting my daughter Cassey right now so I changed it.( By the way, Cassy is an adult and lives in another state.) That cell phone is the life line between my mom and my baby sister who is currently battling a terminal illness and yet he told no one. He only told me today after I noticed the change on the cell phone bill and inquired. He honestly does not see what is wrong with that situation. I feel like I can't completely trust him now and I hate that feeling. He is not currently seeing a therapist and only sees his psychiatrist once every other month. I am not sure he is telling his psychiatrist everything in his sessions, because my husband has a tendency to minimize matters when they are concerning him, no matter what they are. Any suggetions? Am I enabling his behavior and if so how and what can I do? I am really scared about this. I mean what else has he done that I don't know about ,all because numbers are wrong are something else irrational?

Signed,

I need help with my OCD Hubby.
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Nintanto responded:
Well I want to first start by saying that this probably isn't the correct community for this problem and I think if you found a different one on WebMD you might be able to get better answers and better help.

I do want to say though that my best advise for you is to sit down with him and have a long conversation with him about this situation and about how much it is troubling you. Be careful though during the conversation as to what you say, I have sever depression and people without it can't understand what it is like and they sometimes say things that upset me so I'm sure it can be the same for your husband with his OCD. Just make sure you express that you love him, you care about him, and that you are very worried for him and the only thing you want is for him to get better. I really think the key is to express how scared you are about his condition, not scared about him, but just scared and worried about his health. Urge him to see a therapist, if not for his sake for your sake and for the sake of your marriage.

Just remind him that things were better before and they can be again. Remind him that no matter what you still love him and you just want what is best for him. I would also just try and show him that life is easier when you are healthy, and not to be embarrassed or ashamed of needed to get help.

I hope that some of what I've had to say can help you and I wish you the best. Also I would search this sight for a mental health section, I know they have a section for depression that I visit on here so I would assume that there would be a section for OCD where you can find people that are more likely to have dealt with a problem similar to this and can help you out the most.
 
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3point14 responded:
If I were you, I'd get him admitted in a psych ward for a while. This goes beyond what can be taken care of in a bi-monthly therapy session in which he doesn't tell everything. I know getting him admitted seems like a big deal, but his behavior has cost you hundreds of dollars. He's being trapped by his own compulsions, and the fact that he seems nothing wrong with this, to me, means that he needs professional intervention.

Has he been more stressed lately? Has he ever been evaluated for paranoia?

His behavior is EXTREMELY abnormal. For him to be changing phone numbers and being "robbed of sleep" by sheets is something that needs SERIOUS looking into. Has he ever shown violent tendancies?
 
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Emma_WebMD_Staff responded:
Hi Anon,

Sounds like you have your hands full, and I can see your frustration. Others have mentioned that there might be a better community for you inside of WebMD and they would be correct. I'd like to have you go over to our WebMD Anxiety and Panic Community . The members there are really good at helping with these sorts of things, and I do believe there are other family members on that board that are coping with this sort of situation with a love one as well.

Please feel free to come back here to talk about any sort of Sexual health issue, but I feel that for this situation you might find better answers in our other community.

Good luck to you!
Emma
 
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GuardSquealer responded:
Well you should probably post in the other forms that they have suggested.

But I am curious in what way he is wonderful? Sounds like he is a nightmare to live with. I think there is a little more going on than OCD. I would be a little worried about your safety if I were you. He seems to be having trouble seperating what is real and what is not.

I am with Pi on this one. You probably should see about having him admitted for treatment.


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