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Oral sex - gross
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An_215189 posted:
ok, so i've been married for 3 years and just can't handle oral sex. it grosses me out (giving or getting). the thought of it makes me want to puke. is this normal for any other women?
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BalconyBelle responded:
I wouldn't say that extreme of a reaction is normal--I've heard of women and men who dislike oral sex (in thought or in deed)...but not to the point of it making them physically ill.

How do you feel about sex in general? Do you believe it's something dirty or shameful? Would you say that you're extremely concerned with cleanliness? Would you consider yourself to have OCD? And were you ever sexually abused? You don't need to answer any of those questions here--they're just to ask yourself. The reason being any of the above reasons can affect your attitude towards sex in general and especially types of sex other than vaginal intercourse.

If you don't want to give/receive oral--that is your choice & right. It can be a wonderful thing...but if you won't enjoy it, there's not really a point. You might consider seeing a sex therapist to help address the extremity of your reaction, and any other possible hang-ups you may have in the intimacy department. Sex in all its forms and variations can be a wonderful, mindblowing experience with the right partner, and from a Christian perspective, the Song of Songs in the Bible is a pretty clear description that the intimacy and joining of husband & wife is meant for pleasure & love--it's a gift from God.
 
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FCL responded:
Have you ever actually tried it? I just ask because if you can force yourself to let your husband give you oral just once you might just change your mind...
There's nothing inherently dirty about sex, but if you try real hard and use your imagination you can overcome that.
 
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missnya75 responded:
You are very normal. People feel differently about oral sex. Do not let anyone ever pressure you into doing something you are not comfortable with. I am with you there, it is gross for me. But other people are ok with it and that is normal for them. Just like anal sex i feel it is not ok, and not normal but that just me, other people feel differently about it and it is actually part of their normal sex life. So what is normal in sex is whatever suits you and your other half, everyone else's opinion is immaterial. Good luck.
 
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Rhondamay responded:
I am sure it is normal for some women to be repelled by oral sex. I was somewhat shocked the first time my partner performed on me but it was so good I would hate to be without it. I admit I enjoy receiving it more than giving it, but I also love giving my sweetie pleasure and he certainly enjoys it. It is a form of intimacy that enhances our sex life and adds variety.

Oral sex is not offensive to me; the thought of it makes me horny! LOL
 
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HairyD responded:
The comment married for 3 years. You are not any longer 2 bodies but ONE. I agree do not let anyone force you to do anything. BUT also do not force anyone not to do something that they enjoy.

Agree outside the bedroom if the partner wants oral or another position. Once a week. The both of you agree.
My favorite is doggy style. But because of the depth of my penis in her and pain. I only finish in this position once a week.

We agree on this type of actions before marriage. You and your husband did give the other your body in marriage. You to p[lease him. He is to pleasure you.
 
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tlkittycat1968 replied to HairyD's response:
A person does not lose their individuality just because they get married. There are still two people with different ideas/beliefs. When a person gets married, they do have to take the other person into consideration but if there is something one person cannot physically stand be it sexual or otherwise, they have the perfect right to not do it.
 
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An_215190 responded:
I've heard of this reaction, although it's more of women not wanting to give, but not very often on the receiving end.

I personally don't have a problem with either one. I think it can be a great experience for couples to enjoy with one another. Hope this helps
 
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HairyD replied to tlkittycat1968's response:
tlkittycat, individuality is not sexual fullment with your married partner. When you agree to marriage you agree to be sexual active with one person. If either choose not to have sex does matter which postion other than masturbation. You are not fully commited to this marriage. The male should not want his wife to do anything thing he would not do. Therefore it may require for the wife to transfer his sperm from her mouth to his for him to share. It may require that he not deep throat but let her use her tongue. She/ He may put more lube on her anus. These options and others should be used.
 
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An_215191 replied to HairyD's response:
I don't think you understood what she said.
 
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HairyD replied to An_215191's response:
475 I do understand "married 3 years ... it grosses me out .... me want to puke. is this normal for any other women?

My reply is oral sex is normal. But she has not shared her husband's comment. But if he is a healthy male he would want to continue with the oral sex.

I only ask her, has the wife, to made a agreement to continue pleasing him in this way. He may be please just to receive or only enjoy giving oral sex. But she does not have to right in a marriage. For a few minutes each week not to let him select a position. This is mutual love......not forcing....
 
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HairyD replied to HairyD's response:
If my wife did not enjoy and want to spend 30 to 45 minutes giving me oral sex. I would not think she was committed to our wedding vows. Is what I understand. But it is her husband not us that needs to make this call.
 
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An_215192 replied to HairyD's response:
HairyD ~ I am still trying to get past this statement ~ your exect words:

(My favorite is doggy style. But because of the depth of my penis in her and pain. I only finish in this position once a week.)

And even though it causes her pain you still do it once a week?!

If my husband ever said, honey, I know this hurts you but I still want you to do it at least once a year, I would be pissed! Who would intentionally and knowingly cause their wife physical pain because of their own selfish plessure?

I don't think you are the best person to give advice on this subject. You are obviously a very selfish partner.


 
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Rhondamay replied to HairyD's response:
Hairy, I must respectfully disagree with you. Your wedding vows must have been much different than the ones I repeated. Mine didn't say anything about having to submit sexually or any other way to things you were not comfortable with as an individual. I remember nothing about being required to give BJs or to submit to any other act that I might find demeaning. As I remember, my vows were a commitment of mutual love and respect. Bullying, coercion, and intimidation were not included in my vows. I have no problem with any pain-free sex act between consenting adults regardless of their marital status or genders. But every individual, married or not has the right to consent to or to deny any sexual advance or sexual act.

If a person finds a sex act offensive for any reason it is his or her right to abstain and that should be honored.
 
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An_215193 responded:
so u dont like giving or rec oral sex ..thats one of the best things to come along in a long time..69 is the best..ur man knows what he is missing out on and sooner or later he is going to find it some where else..do it even if it gross u out too keep the man at home..never heard of a lady that dont like getting oral sex..meet a lady that had bf and he did not give her oral sex and i pleased her for the longest..she got hooked but like they say all good things must come too a end...learn to suck it up and do what u have to do too keep ur man at home and out of the streets looking for oral sex...he is not going too come out and tell u he is getting it from another ...


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