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dead sex life
goofyove posted:
Is it normal for a 32 year old man to not have a sex drive? My BF and I have been together for almost 2 years and the sex was great and often but now it is slowed to about once every two weeks if that. He was put on some meds but loss of sex drive is not a side effect. I thought he was messing around (been through that before and I know the signs) but I can't find anything that leads me to the conclusion.
topflight88 responded:
I am 23, but in my experience, Yes. Men of all ages usually go through this at some point, and usually more than once in a lifetime. My husband who is 26, has gone through this before. Its usually played up to work stress, financial stress, medications, lack of sleep, etc. You could ask him if anything is wrong. Contrary to popular belief, men do like to talk about their feelings. Many aren't as open as women, but they can usually give you something to work with. I asked my husband if it was anything I was doing, because I had started to blame myself. Turns out he was just tired and stressed and once our situation got better, so did our sex life. If he explains to you the problem, you could try to fix it. But you won't know how to fix it unless you talk to him about it.
alaska_mommy responded:
Yes, my husband and I have gone through that before. When we were still somewhat newly married (about a year), his libido started falling off the wagon. I finally figured out why. I was having problems with pain during sex, and since he didn't want to hurt me, even though I still wanted to have sex he would turn me down. He didn't say why he was doing it for awhile but I finally got it out of him. His libido also takes a nosedive whenever there's a lot of money or work stress or when something is really, really weighing on his mind. Like the PP, his libido improved when our circumstances got better.
dfgbull; responded:
From a mans perspective.

There are many things that can cause loss of drive. Too many to list here! Trying to guess is like the proverbial needle in the haystack. Talk to him about it (in a very non- judgmental/non-critical way). If he won't talk to you about it, either he is feeling attacked/criticized (men are unbelievably sensitive in this area) or there is a deeper emotional issue that will probably need professional help. He most likely wants to talk about it but is already feeling like a failure, so he probably won't start the conservation.

good luck
MissChooChoo replied to dfgbull;'s response:
Yes, besides the stress, a man's libido can really take a dive when they feel their wife doesn't respect them (when they're criticized or nagged). I really wish I'd known 30 years ago what I know now about the difference in how men and women are "wired". The latest research suggests what past generations knew -- that for a wife to be loved, their man needs to feel respected. Little things I did that I thought had no consequence turned out to be real painful emotionally for my ex. I love men and the differences between us, and am still learning how differently we see things. But basically, everyone, whether male or female, functions better when their partner builds them up instead of tearing them down.

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