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Pleasing my husband orally...............
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mendezwife posted:
I'm looking for ways to please my husband orally better. He says I do a great job & I know he enjoys it. I like doing it too....but it takes him a long time (sometimes over an hr) to get off. I do what he asks & things he asks for I try...he says it good...but why does it take him so long to get off?
Tips or suggestions would be great for me bc I'd love to get him off in 15-20 mins. After an hr I get so tired I feel like I dont give it to him good. Then he knows I'm tired & looses focus. I asked him is there anything else I can do....& he says I do it good & he likes it. But like all women are different when it comes to sex are men the same way when it comes to being pleased orally?
Can a man get off in 20 mins orally? does it really take that long? I feel in-adquate (sp) bc I know it can be done faster.....I just havent figured it out yet. I joked to him last nite "there must be a trick to it" "Im sure there are tons of women out there who can get their men off in mins!"

Im not looking for any cheap stupid answers...maybe another woman who can help? or an idea from a man?
Thanks
Reply
 
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An_215292 responded:
My wife can get me off in less than five minutes. Heres what works for us.

First, put your hubby sitting in a chair or on the side of the bed. Get between his legs and go to it. When you get tired,have him stroke his unit to give you a break and to move himself toward orgasm. This is hot for us because I can kiss my sweetie passionately and stroke with my hand bumping into her lucious breasts which excites me even more.

As I feel orgasm approaching, I turn the matter back over to her for a fantastic finish orally.

Hope this helps. Take breaks where he jacks and gives YOU some attention. This makes it better for both of us and lets my wife rest.
 
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mendezwife replied to An_215292's response:
Thanks
We did try on the edge of the bed thing & while that was much easier on me...he ended up not really like it...bc his back was hurting. So we went back to him laying on the bed.
I dont think he'd really wanna rub it himself...the whole point of "kissing him" is for me to do it all for him & have him relax. although I'd b up for it.
I asked if he wanted to watch something for the visual while I do it & he wasnt in the mood for that at the time.
But thanks for the thought! I might bring that up to him casually one nite this week!
I'd love to please him in 10 mins or so...Id do it alot for him then! I like doing it....I know some women really dont like the act...but I like it. Just wished I'd get him there quicker! Men....it really is hard work! Your mouth, hand & anything else hurts! & I must say my hubbys is pretty nice size!
Thanks for responding.....tastefully.
 
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alaska_mommy replied to mendezwife's response:
I'm sure that every man has different techniques that they prefer, but some things that work for us:
Use your mouth and your hands at the same time. Make sure there is lots of saliva--this simulates a wet vagina and feels good. You can add an edible lubricant to heighten that feeling too. While your mouth is working on what you can fit in your mouth, curl your fingers around his shaft and work your hand up and down in rhythm with your mouth work, simulating him thrusting inside you. See if he likes it faster or slower, looser or tighter, etc. You can use the one hand on his shaft and then play with his balls with the other. Usually that works pretty well! I've found my hubby likes it when I stick my tongue out while I'm rubbing it against the head of the penis, I think the back of the tongue is a little rougher and gives better sensations. Don't gag yourself, though

You can also trade off between using your hands and using your mouth. I usually find my jaw gets a little tired after awhile, so I'll switch from that to just my hands, and then when my mouth has a little rest, I'll go back to it.

Question, does he take a while to get off during intercourse, or is it just during oral that it takes him awhile? If it's just oral, then I'm sure you can find a way to shorten the time it takes. If he just naturally takes awhile, you might be stuck with that...good luck!
 
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queston replied to alaska_mommy's response:
Good replies. I would add that, as we all know, we men are very visual. So be sure to get naked, or wear something that he finds sexy.
 
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mendezwife replied to alaska_mommy's response:
Alaska mommy & question
Thanks for responding.......I do all you said alaska mommy! Thats exactly what I do to him! And as much as he says its good....Im thinking its not the best bc if it was.....he'd get off sooner. I just think he's one of those guys who take a while & I'm usually naked.

Now when it comes to sex....he has no problem....its the avg time. Sometimes Im ready to go sooner & its my turn...then he goes.

Just wished it would happen sooner so I dont get so tired. I have a much stronger sex drive than my husband....he used to years ago but stress w work (my husband is a United States Marine!) & we are moving again in Oct. So when we talked about it the other nite he said stress & things takes the lovey right out of him. He said he's still very much attracted to me & its not me when he doesnt wanna have sex or it takes him a while to get off. he's just tired & stressed out w work & he doesnt think of sex....more of sleep! BC I want to be romantic w him alot & he is hardly ever in the mood. So I try to please him orally to think that mite get the ball rolling & we can have sex more.

Thanks for your comments....I'll just keep trying!
 
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naggingwife74 replied to mendezwife's response:
Have you ever talked to him about this? I am just wondering if maybe he enjoys getting oral so much that he is making himself last longer so the oral will last longer. Maybe you should tell him how much you love doing it and how inclinded you would be to do it even more often if it didn't take him so long to finish.

He may end up wearing you out to the point that it becomes more of a chore for you rather then something pleasurable for both of you.

Let him know that sometimes the hour long session is too much for you and you want his help to find what really makes him feel good. Or there is always the option of starting with oral and finishing together?
"The single biggest problem with communication is the illusion that it has occurred -George Bernard Shaw
 
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hairyd responded:
wife your doing great .... please continue.

But you and him need to make things better for you. My wife has hot tea for her to drink during these long sessions. She also has ice chips. Since my package is large like your husband she is not able to have a lot of ice in her mouth with my penis. But the hot and cool on my penis is great.

She will mount me for a few minutes to give her mouth a break and her a quick O. But she would never ask me to masturbate at this time. She use alot of tongue on the head and changes to deep throating.

She is only on her knees if I am standing. You are in a comforible postion.

Your doing the right thing for your husband; now think about you.
 
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mendezwife replied to naggingwife74's response:
Naggingwife74~
Yes I have talked w him about it......I said to him that I'd do it more if he could go quicker...he said he didnt know & that it just take a bit. & yes sometimes it does feel like a chore...a lil....I mean I do enjoy it..but I do it for him.
As for Hairy D.....mine isnt into the ice chips....hot & cold thing. We've done it all! I really think he is so stressed out w his work that its really hard for him to relax. He's not the kind of man who just gets on it....when he's stressed....we dont do it.
Its like our roles are reversed...usually its the woman who doesnt want sex & the man who does.....for us its me! I'd like sex & oral a cpl times a week! But that doesnt happen. I honestly dont think I ever turned him down when he wants it. Im the one who gets turned down.
So yes when we've talked about it I told him it hurts me as a woman to think I cant get him to go when I give him oral sex....or it takes forever! I feel pretty confident in myself & Im a pretty woman w nice curves. I dont have anything to be ashamed about....so as a woman I;d like to please him orally quick.

He assured me its not me.......I know he's attracted to me....but honestly I think w life we have so much going on that its hard for him to shut down, relax & have fun. We've been through 2 very tragic tramas since the beginning of the year & I think that may weigh on him as well.

But as a woman....its nice to feel desired & Id love to kiss him & him explode! ( in 20 mins! LOL) But he's my husband & I love him. He pleases me sexually so I cant complain.
 
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hairyd replied to mendezwife's response:
the ice and tea is for you, think of ways to help you...
 
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An_215293 replied to hairyd's response:
Mendezwife:

I think I was misunderstood. I really believe in different strokes for different folks and men are no exception. But my stroking myself is an act of love not purely self gratification as in solo sex. This gives my wife a break and I have a wonderfully hot time kissing her for her devotion to my unit and enjoying the stroking while hitting her breasts.......hot .hot.hot for me. This really moves things along time wise and affection wise for us and does not make oral a one partner giving only event.

Your husband is a U S Marine? Congratulations to him on his service to our country. It is appreciated. Your hubby's not wanting sex two to three times a week signals that he may be having low Testosterone issues. It happens even in younger guys in their thirties and forties. You many want to suggest that he has his T levels checked, his free T levels also, and his estradiol2 levels checked. T supplementation may give him more libido and drive for the sex life you want. What is your husband approximate age?

Am so sorry for his stress and your stress. As in all things, communicate honestly with your husband. Marines are macho men as you well know so gaurd his ego and masculinity by telling him how much you desire his body and what a great lover he is in the sack.

Blessings for a solution to this.
 
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Jumper197074857 responded:
If you're doing all these things that have been suggested or recommended, it could be that your husband has some sort of mental block making it tougher for him to orgasm thru oral stimulation. How long have you guys been married? Has he experienced this before? Are you the first one to stimulate him orally to ejaculation?

One other trick you might try that works me (I'm male) is insert your finger in his anus at the same time. Just make sure your fingernail is trimmed short and you use lots of lube. My wife will do this to me on occassion and woohoo!! Works wonders Obviously he has to be comfortable with it but stimulating his prostate can be very pleasurable for a man.
 
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jss123 responded:
Hi,

I have the same issues as your husband. I struggle to have an orgasm during oral sex. My girlfriend used to blame herself and it wasn't her fault at all !

You just need to find his sensitive spots and focus on them.

In my case my girlfriend discovered if she takes my testicles in her mouth or uses her tongue in that area and strokes my penis I last 5-10 minutes. He can also masturbate himself while you do this. That will probably be a lot easier for you.

Just be careful if you do this though. The difference between pain and pleasure is very close when pressure is applied to testicles !

Funny enough if she uses her hand there it doesn't work nearly as well.


One thing you didn't say is if he has had an orgasm already before you give him oral sex ?
If he has, he will take a long time to get off orally. All men need some recovery time before they can have another orgasm.

A lot of men also require some stroking during oral sex.
Ask him to masturbate for you so you can see how much pressure you need to apply with your hand.
Most men masturbate with their hand tightly wrapped around their penis.
It will also prevent you from getting so tired.

Hope that helps !
 
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divachic1 replied to jss123's response:
Try sucking on a mint first. then use what hot momma..aka ...alaska momma...( cuz i think she is the coolest) hand and mouth movement...YOur hand and mouth is surpose to meet in the middle. like stroking and sucking at the same time. the mint gives it a kind of ice feeling and then blow on the tip and the cool sensation . This is old school but it can be rather enjoyable for him

HINT HINT.. dont get mints that are too hot cause then takes away the pleasure. I use altoids..but i know just when to not make it too hot. just a little mint.then your breath still fresh when you kiss him.
 
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alaska_mommy replied to divachic1's response:
Thanks, divachic

I love it when DH uses an altoid or two when going down on me, but he says they don't do anything for him. But every guy is different.


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