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    An_215331 posted:
    What does it mean when I am laying in bed with my husband and he has an erection but does not initiate or want sex?
    FCL responded:
    It just means he has an erection.
    There's nothing inherently dirty about sex, but if you try real hard and use your imagination you can overcome that.
    An_215332 responded:
    May I ask ages and how long you have been married?
    It probably doesn't mean anything just as FCL said. I am a male and I am 48 yrs old and I often experience an erection while sleeping. I must add that I love it when my wife realizes it too and then she reaches over and begins touching me or even sometimes she will move enough to wake me and she will be touching herself in front of me, both of which initiate some of the best love making we have ever experienced.
    cr0416 replied to FCL's response:
    It's not that he had an erection that concerns me, of course, it's that I tried to initiate sex and he declined. Which makes me wonder just what, then, was on his mind?
    An_215333 replied to cr0416's response:
    Often it is natural and out of our control. We just have an erection.
    Do you ever experience your vagina getting wet for no reason?
    He may also be embarassed that you saw the erection and that's why he resisted the initiation. What way did you try to initiate sex?
    cr0416 replied to An_215332's response:
    Well, he was not sleeping. He was layin on his stomach, and I had my arms around him and did move my hand in that direction when I discovered he had an erection so I initiated sex but he declined. We have been married only a few months, we are both remarried and in our 40s as well.
    An_215334 replied to cr0416's response:
    Again men do sometimes have spontaneous erections. I have no clue why he declined.
    If this happens again, why not begin to touch yourself and masturbate beside of him? I can never resist my wife when she is near me and touches herself.
    Are there any other issues that you are not sharing? recent disagreements, health issues, possibly your refusal of a recent attempt by him?
    cr0416 replied to An_215333's response:
    um... not sure why he'd be embarassed. We have a great sex life. He is usually very interested and will start by carressing me, etc. I tried moving his arms around me, his hands on me, etc and he layed his hand on me but did not caress. He just did not seem interested although he was having an erection. I also tried to initiate sex by caressing him as well and talking about having sex with him.
    queston replied to cr0416's response:
    I think it just means that he had an erection but didn't feel like sex. His body was saying yes, but the main sex organ, the one between the ears, was saying no, for whatever reason.

    Men get erections for purely physical reasons sometimes: sitting or sleeping in an awkward position for an extended period will do it sometimes--kindof like when a part of your body "falls asleep."
    An_215335 replied to cr0416's response:
    I wish I could help more. I wouldn't worry much about it unless it becomes more frequent. I experience erections often throughout the day, sometimes without any visual or audio stimulation and often such as now while replying to your question.
    Until then, try my suggestion of masturbating beside / in front of him. That way you will be relieved and most likely he will join in.
    tmlmtlrl replied to cr0416's response:
    Was it just a "peecock"? lol, that's what we call it!!

    As for him declining, not sure why without more info, but something you should just ask him about. Just ask in a nonaccusitory manner and during a relaxed time.
    An_215336 replied to An_215332's response:
    We have been married a few months. We are both remarried and in our 40's as well. He was not sleeping, we were holding eachother while he was on his stomach and as I was carressing him I reached down and noticed his erection. So I began to initiate sex by caressing and talking about it and he did not respond although he was awake. I sort of positioned his hands and arms on me but he did not react.
    cr0416 replied to An_215334's response:
    Not issues, really. No I have never nor would I ever decline his attempts as we are both usually very much enjoy our intimate life with each other. He did tell me that he had a lot on his mind.... like work, a doctor appointment he has coming up. I guess it made me feel insecure that he did not want to enjoy our time together inspite of what difficulties we all may have in life.
    An_215337 replied to cr0416's response:
    How do I, if able to, go about asking a question to one of the doctors listed on this site.\?
    Elle0317 replied to An_215337's response:
    Start your own thread using the 'post now' button and ask your question.

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