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No sex for 6 years now experiencing discomfort almost pain with a viabrator
An_215415 posted:
Help I have not had sex for 6 years. Now the relationship has ended. I masterbated but just got a vibtaor. I now notice discomfort and almost pain during penetration. I've been seeing someone and want to have sex. I am afraid it won't be good if I am in pain .. Help.
MissChooChoo responded:
The pain could be from a number of things. In my case, I hadn't had sex for many years after a divorce. And when my ex and I had sex it was painful, hurried, and not ever satisfying for me. Because of this, I developed vaginismus (vaginal spasms) where penetrating myself with even my finger was impossible because of the pain. After reading up on it, I started making my own dilators (starting with a small carrot, cut to size). I'd put a condom on the carrot, and stimulate my clit with a vibrator. The vibrator relaxed my vagina, letting the carrot in. Then I graduated to larger and larger dildos. I bought the realistic kind instead of the plain dilators, because I was trying to get over my fear of the penis also. I always had to use the vibrator to relax -- I read somewhere where the vagina "tents", making room for the penis. This is what seemed to happen. My determination in getting over vaginal spasms came from my fear of getting a pelvic exam -- I was afraid the speculum would be painful. Your pain may be from something different, and I would advise you to see a doctor. If your doctor isn't helpful, find another one -- many don't know much about vaginal pain. One thing I do know is, if you have vaginismus and if you experience any pain with a partner, you have to stop immediately since that is a major cause of the vaginal spasms.

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