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Boyfriend is having trouble ejaculating during sex
An_215423 posted:
My boyfriend cannot reach orgasm during sex...only when he masterbates. It didnt always happen but it has been for a while now. He doesnt masterbate often either, basically when we have sex and he doesnt finish then he needs to. What can we do? is there a pill he can take? Help!
georgiagail responded:
There is no pill he can take to make him climax.

However, consider that a hand is always going to be tighter than a vagina. If he has trained himself to respond to the tighter stimulation during masturbation (the correct spelling of this exercise) vaginal intercourse may simply not be providing him this needed stimulation.

Buttafli28 replied to georgiagail's response:
Thank u for basically he has to stop masturbating in order for us to really work on and fix this problem..?
fcl replied to Buttafli28's response:
No, he doesn't have to stop but he needs to try to "retrain" himself to use a looser grip.
There's nothing inherently dirty about sex, but if you try real hard and use your imagination you can overcome that.
jss123 responded:

Try different positions and ask him where he get the most stimulation. I've also similar issues as your boyfriend.
This can be very frustrating for both partners.

I find if my girlfriend is on top I get a lot more stimulation and climax much more (but your boyfriend might be different).
Foreplay also helps as you are more aroused.

I've also have had stimulation issues with using condoms in the past.
If he is using one, switching varieties/brands might help.
Switching positions also help with condoms.

The others posters are right though. Men often masturbate with a tight grip and with quick strokes as it makes them climax much faster. It comes from when living at home as a teenager and being afraid you might get caught

Its nothing like intercourse so when you have intercourse you feel like there's not adequate sensation.

When he masturbates he should just grip a lot less tight and stroke the speed of normal intercourse.

Hope that helps.
Karen Luster, MD responded:
Generally speaking there is no right amount of time or right number of orgasms that a person should have during sex. It is true that more percentage of men orgasm during sex. But that does not mean that all men orgasm ever time they have sex.

Some causes of delayed ejaculation are medications that belong to the category of SSRIs such as sertraline (Zoloft ?), fluoxetine (Prozac ?), and paroxetine (Paxil?). Many people who are on these medications for anxiety and depression can make it take longer to achieve an orgasm in men and women.

Stress and pressure can actually make the issue more pronounced. So it is important to not stress the issue which could cause embarrassment for your boyfriend which may make him have even more difficulty. The important thing to remember is that sex is for pleasure, relaxation and if desired intimacy. The goal is not how long it takes to orgasm or whether there is an orgasm at ever encounter.

Treatment is really just to relax and enjoy each other.

If this becomes or remains a serious problem for one or both of you I would recommend a professional evaluation.
dfgbull responded:
Have you tried masturbating him after your orgasm instead of him masturbating himself? This would allow you to "give" him an orgasm which would probably do more for intimacy than him doing himself.
An_246095 replied to Karen Luster, MD's response:
Hi! Could it be a problem if I and my mate have been battling this concept for over six months? Is it true that women can only have an orgasm during foreplay? It feels like Im having multiples while having intercourse because I feel funny inside emotionally and my vagina is EXtremely HOT wit lava. Love making wit my mate is wonderful but I often find myself feeling inadequate because my mate is having a hard time filling these same shoes. In the beginning of our relationship was top notch. He would perform everytime we had sex, but now these last seven months has put a damper on our sex life. Is it me? He says its not but he really doesn't kno. I find myself helping him out by caressing his scrotum and sucking his chest a lot while he masturbates. Im really losing it here....I really don't kno what to think or how to help him. We have been together going on two years and planning on marriage next summer '20123'. Please is there any suggestions, advice or tools you can give me to save my relationship?

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