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I am 31 and have never ever even dated
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Dabrixmgp posted:
My shrinks cant help me so I dont know where else to turn. Im 31 years old and Im watching all my other friends get engaged and married and its tearing me up inside. I, myself, have never even been on a date. I had become suicidal over this issue because I dont understand what is so wrong with me that girls wont like me. But how do I go about making women at least want to hang out with me? I will worry about sex and a relationship later right now I just want to know how to at least meet people of the opposite sex and not make an idiot of myself.
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BalconyBelle responded:
I'm not sure what your shrinks have told you, so my apologies if everything I say is something you've heard before.

  • You can't 'make' someone like you/want to hang out with you, it's up to them to decide.
  • Lots of women respond to confidence & a sense of humor...being sucidally depressed is automatically a turn-off.
  • Think about your interests, what you're good at, and where you feel comfortable. Look for social avenues that will allow you to expess it. Not only will you be putting your best foot forward--you'll be meeting people with whom you already have common ground.
  • Try to think positive, and be positive when talking to other people. If you meet someone, but you're complaining, insulting, or otherwise only expressing negativity, people will draw away from you.
  • Sometimes, married/engaged people like nothing better than to try matchmaking for their pals. See if your friends know anyone they think you'd like and vice versa, and if they'd be willing to introduce you.
  • If you attend church, they generally have singles groups were you can meet women who share at least one of your beliefs.
  • If you go to bars or nightclubs, you'll get to meet women as well.
  • RELAX. Plenty of people I know got their starts rather awkwardly, so don't assume you've blown it right out of the gate if you accidentaly act a little foolish. Just shrug it off, recover, and keep going.
  • Women are not intimdiating or terrifying (unless armed with whips & chains ;) )
We're really not that scary, and we're not that hard to find. Congrats on deciding to pursue freindship & just meeting the opposite sex first. You can never have too many friends, and if you get to the point where you're at ease with gal pals, it will make it that much easier to be at ease when looking for & interacting with women you'd like to have a romantic relationship with.

Remember--pratice makes perfect, even when it comes to hanging out with other people. The more at ease you are with them, the more at ease they'll be with you. I hope this helps :)
 
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JU0610 responded:
First off I completely agree with BalconyBelle if you havent already heard or tried the advice that she gave. But also, if you try too hard to find someone its even harder to actually fnd someone if that makes sense. Its like the words "desperate" has been written on your forehead. Trust me, been in the same situation. But as soon as I stopped looking then I had guys wanting to go out because they said it seemed that I was more relaxed and confindent even though I didnt feel that way. That doest mean dont take showers and brush your teeth, etc because the "dont care" attitude but just walk in a room and think "Im here to be me and have fun". The stress and anxiety of worrying if someone is gonna like you s way less. Also, if someone does seem interested dont act like (for a lack of better words) a "giddy school girl". Just talk like its an old friend from way back and your just catching up. I really hope that things change for you because you seem like a genuine nice guy. And when you do find Mrs. Right then you know she will be the one if you can wait this long. Lol. Good luck!!!!! Best of wishes!
 
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alaska_mommy responded:
One small thing I have to add to this, my husband didn't meet me until he was 30. He was 32 when our son was born (and we plan on having more, he's 34 now). So, it's not too late for you! Don't panic...you still have time to meet your soulmate!


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